QISE Review - Rio Edition - Day 1

In the first full day of competition (again, not counting the three days of soccer and archery)...

• Al Michaels kicks it off, looking like he just got off the tour bus after a business conference.
• Rowing camera coverage seems a bit better than before, with multiple angles thanks to cameras mounted to overhead cables.
• It was mentioned that there were hand sanitizers for the open water competitors, due to concerns with water quality and bacteria.  Based on the alarming nature of the news stories, I would be asking for a Silkwood shower.
• The US got their first gold medal in the games in the Air Rifle competition.  I’m guessing other countries are thinking “of course the US is good at shooting things”.
• Costas is back at the Rio Apple Store in prime time, handing us off to Men’s Gymnastics.  If you’re looking for breathless commentary, you’re in the right place.
• Are they separately miking the gym equipment?  There’s a lot of banging and creaking going on.
• Ugh—Michael Phelps is a great swimmer, we get it!  Can we move on?

Speaking of moving on—more tomorrow.

QISE Review - Rio Edition - Day Zero

First off—why “day zero”? Because it’s QISE tradition that the opening ceremony is on Day Zero, which begins the whole shebang. (Never mind that early rounds of soccer and the entire archery competition is over.)

Okay, so Day Zero...

• The network has waited since the 1996 Atlanta Games to show the event live in the Eastern Time Zone. With Rio in the Atlantic Zone (only one hour off), it’s all live, all the time, right?  Well mostly—the Opening Ceremony and gymnastics will be “curated” and shown “slightly" later.  Translation: edited within an inch of it’s life in order to jam in more ads.
• Many of the Peacock family are missing the big show due to concerns over the Zika virus.  Savannah Guthrie and Dylan Dreyer of the Today Show are both pregnant so they stayed home.  For any on-air talent of child-bearing age in Rio now—how exactly did you explain it to your significant other?  “Sorry, honey, it’s my big break!"
• This leaves old fogies Lauer, Vieira, and Kotb to host the Opening Ceremony, with Costas standing by at what I’m calling the Rio Apple Store.
• So, the ceremony—it wouldn’t be QISE without extras from Tron holding aluminum pillows, creepy puppets, the history of the host country via a Cirque du Soleil routine, the cast of Solid Gold, and multicolored Cousin Itts.
• In an unusual move, Rio QISE decided to include an educational message about global climate change. Fox News viewers—avert your eyes.
• In the Parade of Nations, when they mentioned concerns about Germany, I immediately thought of “The Boys from Brazil”. Nope—just a previous soccer loss.

Tomorrow—the Games truly get underway.

Quadrennial International Sporting Event (QISE) Review - Rio Edition - Day Negative 1

Citius, Altius, Zikius.

It seems like only two years ago when I covered QISE for the last Winter Games, but here we are again.  (I am avoiding the O-word as to not annoy the QISE Organizing Committee’s attorneys).  As before, I will concentrate on the spectacle and media over the actual events—you can get coverage for that anywhere.  It’s all about the ceremony, the histrionics, the commercials, and how the Peacock network, desperate for a hit, can pull in the viewers.

We are still cord cutters, so the 260 hours of network coverage will have to suffice, along with whatever online stuff I can get. There’s also social networks, which have only become more powerful.

You can expect controversies and scandals surrounding any QISE, but we have a bumper crop in Rio.  The Zika virus, polluted water, unfit athlete housing, rampant crime, a failing local economy, plus the normal corruption that seems to follow the event.  Let’s see if they can pull it off.

Tomorrow—let the games begin! (I know some events have already started, but…)

Southern Sweep - Day 9 and Wrap Up

Like most vacations, it's great to visit, but it's nicer to get home. Unfortunately, we left the longest drive for the last day--Memphis to Columbus.  So no pics for today--it would be a lot of freeways and construction.

We stopped at a very pretty Starbucks in Jackson, TN that might be the least organized location in their chain. You would think if you were paying by phone and knew exactly what you wanted, it would be easy. However, we got a barrista who I assume was a trainee and didn't know how a register worked, that "rewards" could be redeemed, or how to complete an order.  I think we could have made the breakfast sandwiches and coffee at the side of the road more quickly. We knew there was a problem when two of the same order appeared.  They were nice--just untrained.

I drove, Mindy drove, the other dozed in the car, drive, drive, drive--repeat.

The temperature dropped as we went, forcing us to hit a rest stop and change from shorts to pants.

We stopped at a Skyline Chili in the Cincinnati area (if you haven't had their 3-way, stop reading and drive to Cincinnati), and we ordred, were served, ate, paid, and left in less time than the Starbucks order took.

As nightime arrived, we made it to the Schmidbauer homestead.

Overall, the trip was a lot of fun, we got to see our nieces, ate some great food, and saw giant animals. What's not to like?  We're discussing a Western Sweep next--but first some sleep in our own bed.

Southern Sweep - Day 8

Niece #3 - Betsy, who lives on the Texas side of Texarkana with her husband Kai and two kids.  We got a picture to document the event just outside the IHOP.

Back on the road--and a chance to stand astride two states. The county courthouse was built on the border to save money--go to the left for Texas cases, and to the right for Arkansas cases.

On the way to Memphis, we stopped at the biggest scam since the casino--the Crater of Diamonds State Park.

Site of an ancient volcano, they offer the chance to dig through a field for real diamonds--at only $8 plus the cost of shovels, buckets, etc.  It drew a decent crowd, including us.

We made it to Memphis in time for BBQ at the legendary Germantown Commissary.

The pile of meat in a bowl? That's a salad.

Logy and tired, we made it to the hotel. 

Tomorrow--driving, driving, driving, and wrapping it up.

Southern Sweep - Day 7

First off, more donuts--this time at Glazed. We joined Maggie and her friend Cade for the feast.

Before we left, we got a chance to tour the athletic facilities at McNeese.

Then off to Shreveport--and the mysterious Giant Dalmation. At night, you can change the color of the dog's spots.

Then, in the outskirts of Texarkana, in Fouke, AR, a celebrity sighting. MST3K's own Boogy Creek Monster!

We then followed the GPS to the hotel right on the state line with Texas. Unfortunately, there were two of the same hotel chain there, straddling the border. Once that was straightened out, we hit the hay.

Tomorrow--one more niece, diamonds, and meat.

Southern Sweep - Day 6

A late day to start--but Mindy got her donuts (Louisiana is crazy about them).

Then off to a McNeese tour

Then down to the shores of Lake Charles--very pretty and restful

Did I mention restful?

Off to the glitter of Lake Charles' casinos! I would put them at mid-Vegas level.  We hit a few slots and walked around.

And if the hotel rooms aren't big enough (actually docked at the casino)...

Finally, we moved onto a local Maxican joint for dinner.

Tomorrow--more donuts, giant dogs, and look out for the monster!

Southern Sweep - Day 5

We drove over to Avery Island, home to Tobasco.   This is the sole factory that makes 700,000 bottles/day for 150 countries.  Based on how complicated the process is, Tobasco should cost $500 a bottle.

I do enjoy Tabasco on my crumpets...

Then, a drive over to Lake Charles and McNeese State University, where our niece Maggie is a goalie on the soccer team.

She took us to Steamboat Bill's, a famed seafood place.  Be ready to order at the counter, then sit down and they bring a pile of fish over.

Tomorrow--donuts, a campus tour, and Viva Lake Charles!

Southern Sweep - Day 4

Started late--off to the deep South.

Mississippi--a lot of this out the window...

Then these--Palmettos?  Nope, it's "pinus palustris".

Can you tell that Mindy drove today?

Finally Louisiana--and Lake Ponchatrain.  This is a very long and impressive bridge.

Then N'awlins. The French Quarter seems very run down. Mindy referred to it as "creepy". We were tired and so we decided to move on to Lafayette, LA for the night.

Tomorrow - Hot Sauce, Lake Charles, and niece #2.

Southern Sweep - Day 3

We began our first full Tuscaloosa day at City Grille, and a huge breakfast.  Grits, eggs, sausages, biscuits...

 

Yes, those are grits. Anything that's half butter can't be bad.

The review said the breakfast was dynamite, and I have to agree.

Then a jaunt out to a place called "Pie Lab"--which was unfortunately closed.

On the way back, we stopped at the Moundville Archeological Park

 

Back at 'Bama, and the world's second largest Starbucks at the Student Union

  

Two more pics at the University...

 

We stopped at Steel City Pops--an artisinal popsicle store. I had Pumpkin, while Mindy had Cherry Sour Cream.

Later we had dinner with Abby and her friend Will at an Irish pub. We were worn out, so it's off to bed.

Tomorrow--sleeping in, lots of driving, and a loooonng bridge.

 

Southern Sweep - Day 2

We drove into Nashville and the GPS sent us straight into Titans tailgating--wasn't sure if we would get out, since we kept being directed back into the fray.

We finally made it over to Broadway (the touristy area).

They make boots big in Tennessee

An Elvis sighting

Various signage

Goo-Goo-Goodness

 

We then took a quick jaunt to Greece--no,no.  There's an exact copy of the Parthenon in Nashville.

 

Of course, no trip would be complete without a giant chicken with a chef hat (Elkton, TN)

 

Onto Tuscaloosa!

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.

How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.

Then we tried to remove the tusks. The tusks. That's not so easy to say. Tusks.

You try it some time. As I say, we tried to remove the tusks.

But they were embedded so firmly we couldn't budge them.

Of course, in Alabama the Tuscaloosa,

but that is entirely ir-elephant to what I was talking about.

Groucho in Animal Crackers (Movie)

Abby gave us a tour of the University of Alabama--Roll Tide! 

We also went down to the boat dock (Abby's on the rowing team)

Finally, we took Abby out to a BBQ place—decent food plus cheesy muffins! We’re still in “vinegary” sauce territory though.

 

Tomorrow - Southern food, lack of pies, and more 'Bama.

Southern Sweep - Day 1

We've been talking forever about taking a drive through the deep south. We have three nieces who are attending schools and/or living in Alabama, Louisiana, and Texas respectively. We decided to get off our duff and do it before they graduate.  

We left around 8:30 from Columbus, which got us to Louisville in time for lunch. We stopped at the "Frankfort Ave Beer Depot and Smokehouse", a hole in the wall place with decent online reviews.  Mindy wanted to try the "Hillbilly Wontons" appetizer, but they were out. We ended up with our third choice, the fried green beans. The brsket sandwich was unremarkable, if small.  The baked beans had a lot of smoke and bourbon flavor, and the sauce was vinegary as expected.  Probably wouldn't return--more atmosphere than taste.

We later stopped at Mammoth Cave, but didn't go in (tours were booked, plus there's a bat fungus issue we would rather avoid).

But we couldn't miss...

We later stopped to borrow some WiFi and book a room--Mindy's sister Amy had just come in to see her daughter Abby's game (she's on the rowing team), so we spent some time simultaneously searching websites and texting. Turned out almost everything was booked, but we found a place with two rooms fairly close--ended up being across the street.

Met up with Amy and her husband Don, hit up a Mexican place--again across the street--and hit the hay.

Tomorrow--Nashville, Goo-Goo, a monument on the wrong continent, a giant chicken, and 'Bama.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 16 and the Closing Ceremony

We’re into the final day of competition, but first let’s catch up on last night…

• Another video package?? At least this one is about a current athlete—Steve Holcomb’s experimental vision surgery that saved his career.
• Ski announcer Todd Brooker on Ted Ligety’s failed slalom run: “A lot of mistakes at the start...not a really good way to get going.” Thanks for that expert commentary.
• We got an “agony of defeat” moment from one of the Canadian Bobsled teams—they rolled their sled in a turn, then slid mostly upside down for the rest of the course. Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt.

Coming around the clubhouse turn...

• We begin with more Hockey—in this case, the gold medal game. After a half hour pre-game, it’s time for more fast forwarding.
• Al Michaels is kicked out of the Fortress on his last day in favor of Dan Patrick. Perhaps he had a plane to catch.
• Prime time begins with—a documentary about the Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding debacle. I think it’s extremely cynical for the Peacock to produce this travesty which looks like it was lifted from Inside Edition.
• Ah—Michaels was pulled from afternoon coverage so he could host the Closing Ceremony along with Cris Collinsworth, both comfortable covering sports on Sunday night. Not the people I would pick to describe a mostly artistic presentation. Fortunately, Pozner came along for the ride.
• The Closing Ceremony begins with—aw, not the little girl again!
• Vertical fluorescent bulbs, a boat in the air, and people running wearing tinsel clothing—you figure it out. It is a cool effect, though.
• The US athletes wisely chose to change out of their ugly Chistmas sweaters for their final appearance.
• After the QISE flag handoff, we get the South Korean presentation. Very pretty, if perplexing—human birds, trees of light…
• As the QISE flame goes out, the Russkies close out the ceremony with some big-ass mirrors and giant mascots in the stadium. Is this weird enough for you, folks?

Well, that about does it. See you in Rio!

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 15

Catching up from last night…

• Speed Skating Team Pursuit is another one of these silly sports where you follow closely behind another skater and “draft” the leader. The whiny US team quickly lost—leaving them with zero medals in the disclpine.
• We also got the final of Short Track Speed Skating, which determines the fastest man and woman on ice!* Viktor Ahn was the big winner for Russia**

*who doesn’t crash or is taken out by another skater
**since the South Korean Skating Federation pissed him off, so he defected

Moving onto Saturday’s coverage…

• …and Al Michaels checks in at the Fortress for the last weekend.
• NBC showed a 45 minute documentary on a Russian hockey team that died in a plane crash. Wow—how upbeat. You didn’t have some Curling on tape? Maybe some lower-ranked figure skaters you previously edited out?
• Prime time begins with—another video package that has virtually nothing to do with QISE. A paraplegic swimmer finds her roots in Russia. Nice, but have we run out of events?
• After a few sports odds and ends, NBC shows an interview with new QISE President Thomas Bach. Clearing out the tape vault, apparently.
• He doesn’t want to talk about Russia’s civil rights record—I was reminded of a line from Monty Python—“This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let’s not argue and bicker about who killed who…"
• At least we get the Figure Skating exhibition—with Lipinski and Weir (wearing weeds in their hair) doing the commentary.  The exhibition is basically an audition for the Ice Capades.

One more day to go... 

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 14

Catching up from last night…

• NBC was barreling through the women’s Figure Skating Free Skate—not a lot of video packages—which does not bode well for the US team. The Peacock would be generating more buzz if they were going to win.
• We got a final video before the top six skated, then a lot of stats from Andrea Joyce—place your bets, folks!
• Lipnitskaya went down again. Bezic quote: “She casts a spell”.
• Kostner skated clean. Hamilton quote: “She makes the ice look very small when she’s on it”.
• Sotnikova mostly skated clean. Hamilton: “She's like a cash register—she keeps ringing it up”. Again with the rhythmic clapping from the audience…
• Gracie Gold goes down. Bezic: “...classic style that doesn’t need adornment”. No gold for Gold.
• Wagner skated clean. Hamilton: “She is just PERFORMING!”
• Kim skated clean. Bezic: “A performance for the ages!”
• …and the winner is—Sotnikova!! Proving that complexity beats artistry.
• Prime time finishes up with a multi-minute ad for “The Voice”. Huh?

Onto Friday’s coverage…

• Could they make the Biathlon Relay more complicated? 4 skiers per team, each skis 3 laps, you get 5 bullets in the magazine for 5 targets in prone and standing positions, but you get three more bullets that must be hand loaded, except on a Tuesday at night, aces are wild, no backsies…
• In prime time, Costas goes off on Putin’s rule in an editorial—I guess we’re close enough to the finish line that NBC feels safe in attacking their hosts.
• A phrase we’ve gotten sick of, referring to the lousy weather conditions—“sugary snow”.
• Hey Johnny Weir—did you get that bow tie from the Soupy Sales collection?
• NBC spent about 30 minutes hyping Mikaela Shiffrin’s second slalom skiing run—we heard “Mikaela's run coming up” over and over. Do you think she won?  Hmmm….

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 13

I’m falling farther and farther behind—let’s see what we can get through.

• Extreme facial closeups, the coaches are miked, there’s a hush in the arena—must be time for the top women in Figure Skating.
• (In my best Howard Cosell) Down goes Lipnitskaya! Down goes Lipnitskaya! We’ll see if she can come back in the Free Skate.
• Ashley Wagner—the only US skater who didn’t get an intro package—had some problems, but didn’t generate a meme-worthy face this time.
• In the late show, Nancy Kerrigan is wheeled in to give some post-game analysis.
• Parallel Giant Slalom?  OK—now you’re just picking sport terms out of a hat.

Onto Thursday’s coverage…

• Hockey is well suited to DVR-viewing (at least for me). Fast-forward, watch the score at the upper left, then back it up when it changes to see the goal. I got through Canadian women's win over the US in about 10 minutes.
• Ski Snowcross—because Snowboard Cross is too safe. I say we up the stakes—have them juggle chainsaws while they do it—blindfolded!

More to come, including the finale of women’s Figure Skating. Get ready for kissing and crying.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 12

Catching up from last night…

• I wouldn’t say the weather in Sochi was lousy, but they’re using umbrellas on the ski lifts.
• Yet another “new” sport created by merging two existing ones—it’s Ski Halfpipe!
• We’re getting more teasers for women’s Figure Skating. First, Ryan Seacrest (who apparently didn’t have anything else to do), introduced Korean skater Una Kim, who is the biggest celebrity in her country.
• Second, they brought in Tara Lipinski and Johhny Weir, the buzzy couple from NBCSN morning coverage, to preview the competition with Costas. Keep in mind this was still a day before the event—brace yourself, folks.
• We get Davis and White getting their Ice Dancing gold medals to finish out the night. What—no shot of the “Moms”????

Moving onto Wednesday…

• Let the women’s figure skating profiles continue! Of course, the Peacock concentrates on the UDS team --Carillo with Polina Edmunds, Ohno with Gracie Gold, with a second Edmunds video before her performance. Is this a sign that Ashley Wagner had problems? NBC tends to telegraph such things via these video packages—they only want to concentrate on winners.

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 11

Catching up from last night…

• Enough with the Canadian and US Ice Dancing partners training together! Get on with it!
• In late night, the US didn’t make the finals of Team Ski Jumping—hey, come back viewers!

Onto Tuesday’s coverage...

• The weather continues to cause havoc with the schedule and performances. One official tried to put a positive spin on it. Sixty degrees + Artificial snow + rain = great skiing conditions??
• 10000m Speed Skating isn’t the most riveting event to watch—the commentators spent about five minutes discussing if a competitor went over foul line or not. The DVR becomes your friend.
• Good to see Costas back again—although his eyes were looking a bit more red...
• As if Snowboard Cross isn’t difficult enough, now they have to do it in the rain?? It’s also a bit difficult for the viewer to keep everyone straight during the race.
• We're starting to get teases for women's Figure Skating, the marquis event of Winter QISE--they showed a few minutes of practice tonight, along with what will be MANY taped packages

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 10

Catching up from last night…

• I realized why I’m enjoying Ice Dancing more than the Pair’s Skate. The former is (mostly) artistry, while the latter is artistry broken up with athletic jumps. 
• I am getting tired of NBC showing the same preview packages over and over. Yes, we know about Davis and White's “Moms”. Not paying your editors enough?

Onto Monday’s coverage…

• A lot of the outdoor sports were delayed due to fog. Tell me again why a subtropical location was a good choice for a Winter QISE?
• As prime time begins—Costas is back! Woo-hoo!! His eyes look better, although he’s still wearing the Harry Potter glasses.
• I was setting up the DVR for this week’s QISE coverage, and I noted that the other networks have basically given up during QISE—showing a LOT of reruns. Keep in mind we’re in February “sweeps”, when ad rates are set. Normally, the networks would be all new during February. Based on this, I’m surprised the QISE ratings aren’t as high as expected. Maybe it’s the Costas factor?
• As I watched the bobsled competition, I had another brainstorm for a new event: Four Men Bobsledshop Quartet. The competitors have to be fast AND in harmony. You could even get an NBC synergy—get “The Voice" judges involved! 
• Really, NBC? You’re going to air a “feature length” documentary about the Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding debacle?? I’d rather see more Curling. Even Costas called it “rain delay theater”.
  

More to come.

QISE Review - Winter Edition - Day 9

Catching up from last night…

• US Speed Skaters are making a lot of excuses for their poor performance so far, mostly accusing the new suits they unveiled at QISE—to the point they went back to their older suits last night. Not the best advertisement for Under Armour, the creator of the new suits.
• Vieira interviewed former QISE skaters Tara Lipinski and Johhny Weir—most of the talk was about fashion—hmmm...
• Finally, in late night coverage—CURLING!! Woo-hoo!

Onto Sunday’s coverage…

• NBC is desperately trying to turn yesterday’s hockey match into “Miracle on Ice II—Electric Bugaloo”.  I don’t think so. A bunch of NHL players on the US team took on another bunch of NHL players on the Russian team—that’s it. DO YOU BELIEVE IN A THINLY VEILED ALL-STAR GAME??—YES!!
• Uh-oh…another Tom Brokaw piece. At least this one is related to QISE—Louis Zamparini, 1936 QISE runner and war hero. However, it looks more like an ad for upcoming film “Unbroken”, which just happens to be produced by Universal—got a little synergy going on, NBC? 
• As we go into prime time, Lauer’s back at the Fortress. I guess NBC could only stand so much Meredith.
• Snowboardcross is the NASCAR of snow events—it’s a good idea to be in front to avoid crashes.
• Mindy and I have been taking ballroom dancing lessons for a while—so this is the first time I’m really paying attention to Ice Dancing.
• We saw an actual, unrehearsed moment from Bode Miller tonight as he broke down after getting the bronze.

More to come.