QISE Review - Day 6

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Thursday--182 hours so far.

• Watching men's gymnastics from last night--the big difference between this and the women's event? For the girls, it's who can excel, but for the boys, it who screws up less.
• I'm finding myself fast forwarding through the swimming heats--each skip, and they're going in the other direction
• I look forward to Mary Carillo's late night coverage and reports--she is clearly having fun
• Bad form, Today Show! When Gabrielle Douglas was shown in a taped package, rap music was suddenly added
• In a story so remarkable that not even NBC could have scripted it, Kayla Harrison won Judo gold--she was sexually abused by her first coach, her new coaches got her into therapy and retrained her, she wins the gold, and now plans to be a firefighter.
• What I'm sacrificing for the blog--I decided to watch prime time live tonight, instead of whipping through it via Tivo. I'm doing it to see how well the "online companion" app works. I'm running it on my Galaxy Nexus, using my home wifi, plugged into AC power.
  • Overall, it's not bad. Biographical info on athletes competing at the time, twitters, photos, polls, quizzes...
  • The synchronization to the broadcast is fairly close--I'm wondering how much of it was already written up beforehand (since the entire primetime coverage is on tape), and how much is done on the fly.
  • It did appear to lock up at one point, forcing me to close and restart the app
  • Based on the quiz results, there was a high mark of 4300 people actively using the app (they may be splitting up the logins into multiple instances)
  • In the first hour, there were 34 entries on the app--more than one every two minutes 
  • I wouldn't mind some real time detailed stats for each ongoing event
  • Videos and photos don't always come up, especially when showing multiple pics at once. The underlying app is using Adobe tech, so it may not work great on my Android Ice Cream Sandwich device.
  • Updates to the app have come in almost every day--I assume that's to fine tune the code base
• We've made it to women's gymnastics--histrionics, HO!
  • "They could call that a step too--and if they do, she'll be punished"
  • "I know I sound like I am obnoxiously critical..."
  • "They work on...the micro-basics of the sport"
  • "Balance Beam is the great separator"
  • "They say a crowded room can be the most lonely place in the world"
• I'm starting to wonder if NBC will stage a nationwide power blackout as a publicity stunt for their upcoming "Revolution" series
• Another "instant ad" from AT&T, referencing the Rebecca Soni swimming win "just a few minutes" after the event (actually hours later--remember, it's all on tape)
• Did we just see another spoiler on a Today show ad? It trumpeted that Douglas and Lochte would be on the show tomorrow, with no reference to their rivals--neither have won or lost (at least in terms of the prime time script) when it aired around 9:45p.  Let's see what happens. Shouldn't NBC have a VP in charge of spoilers?
  • Update--Douglas gets the gold, Lochte gets a bronze and a silver--so I'd say it was a spoiler

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 5

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Wednesday--154 hours so far.

• Watching the women's Cycling Time Trials--I love that the current leaders sit in actual thrones watching the others come in
• Scandal in Badminton? Doubles teams from South Korea, China, and Indonesia threw matches in order to get a more favorable spot in later matches. From the video I saw, it wasn't subtle--they were obviously serving into the net, over and over. The other countries basically said "Well, China started it". If China jumped off a cliff, would you do it? The teams involved have been disqualified.
• Had a minor crisis before prime time--my Tivo started rebooting on it's own. I think it's fixed--fingers crossed. Today's notes may be a bit truncated.
• So why can the male swimmers wear long trunks, but the divers have to wear tiny briefs?
• We're seeing almost real-time ads tonight--Phelps winning his 19th medal in a VISA ad, and the women's gymnastic win referenced in a AT&T ad
• Also during diving, there was a dramatic music drop that seemed out of place--it was just an analyst going into technical detail, and in the background, it's DUHH-DUM-DUHH-DUHHH...
• In order to look hip, NBC brought in Ryan Seacrest to provide Facebook and Twitter stats from last night. Looks like Gabrielle Douglas is getting the majority of the "Fab 5" love.
• Danell Levya--one of the male gymnasts--has a favorite blankey, apparently    

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 4

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Tuesday--128 hours so far.

• Watching men's gymnastics from last night--apparently, the commission in charge of the sport has codified bribes to the judges. The Japanese coach filed a formal inquiry over a move on the pommel horse, and in order to do so, there's a "payment"   required. There was a bizarre shot of the coach handing the judges a wad of bills.  WTF? Well, the "payment" worked, and the Japanese got silver, pushing GB to bronze.
• In late night--why is Shaun White being interviewed at the Summer QISE? Because NBC realizes the Winter QISE is more popular.
• Great to see Community's Greendale Human Beings at the Judo event
• Moving to prime time, Bob Costas continues his anchor role. While he really doesn't spend much time onscreen, he's become the Jim McKay of the 21st century--the voice of QISE. If his Wikipedia entry is accurate, Costas turned 60 this year, but certainly doesn't look it.
• Perhaps things were quiet today--it's the only explanation I have for NBC spending over half an hour at the start of prime time on women's synchronized diving, when the US wasn't even in the finals.  That's not to say I didn't enjoy it--it's just a surprising move by the network.
• Then it's the women's gymnastics team final, so fire up the pathos!
  • Perfunctory hugs after every performance
  • Tim Daggett:
    • "That score was so, so wrong!"
    • "Not a death knell for Russia, but not good"
    • They even used his voice as parody for an animated movie ad
  • One "up close and personal" segment after the other
  • The music video played over and over
  • Lots of crying from the Russians

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 3

Running total hours recorded on my Tivo, starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Monday--97 hours so far.

• Late last night, NBC's carefully pre-written script on women's gymnastics was shredded.
  • The world champion, a member of the "Fab 5" (YOU WILL ACCEPT THIS NICKNAME) did not make the team finals
  • NBC did manage to wring every drop of pathos out of the event--at one point, one of the two US winners was interviewed while the loser was framed perfectly in the background
  • The commentators as well as ol' Bela, were incensed by this, and made their obvious bias even more clear.
• Watching Equestrian Cross Country on NBCSN--between the large crowds lining the course and the whimsical jumps, it reminded me of miniature golf writ large. Do I need to hit the ball into the clown's mouth to win?
• Double entendre of the day--while talking about getting proper footing for the horses, the commentator noted that "they needed to stud up"
• On table tennis--why do the competitors need to shag their own balls? Can't they have ball boys as in regular tennis?
• On kayaking - there was a 44-year old female competitor, and the announcers made it sound like she shouldn't have been allowed out of the nursing home (Disclosure--I'm 48)
• When they show a pool-level view of the butterfly swim, I'm reminded of Whac-a -Mole as they bob up and down
• Random gymnastics announcer statement of the night--"He just has to erase his hard disk"

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 2

You can see the medal count anywhere, but where else can you get running total hours recorded on my Tivo? Starting with the Opening ceremony through midnight Saturday--37 hours so far.

• Late night coverage included women's weightlifting. My comment--who's the Hee Haw refugee doing the play by play? That would be Shane Hamman.
• Much of the video you are seeing is not directly from NBC--there's an international feed that all countries can use, and NBC takes full advantage of it. This is more obvious if you watch the online feeds, especially for early qualification rounds.
• What's with "everyone gets a hug" after every point in volleyball? I'm sure it's part of the regimen, but it really seems forced.
• The online site seems to suffer from Hulu disease--symptoms:
  • Showing the same four commercials over and over
  • Low quality video, badly encoded video, or video not designed for online use
  • Showing commercials WAY too often, especially since this is live coverage so you miss events
  • Bad (or no) commercial timing--sometimes occurring in the middle of a routine
• The poor weather in London gave us a strange sight--women competing in beach volleyball wearing bikinis while everyone else had overcoats on
• When you watch the diving competition, look for the 80's robot at the bottom of the pool--just saying
• Women's gymnastics has begun--bring on the superlatives from Tim Daggett! "That was a mindblowing vault!" "That was ginormous!" "That is just obscene!"

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 1

Let the games begin!

• NBCSN begins the Saturday coverage with--what else? Beach volleyball. No idea why this is so popular...
• The online coverage is surprisingly good, once you get it set up. The video quality is good, even with other activities on the Mac. We watched the Archery coverage--something you would be lucky to get 30 seconds of on TV.
• Since I'm already paying for cable in order to get online access, it would be nice if there were no ads. The constant banner at the top of the full screen view is particularly annoying.
• Shooting--the sport of snipers and survivalists
• For gymnastics online, you can concentrate your viewing on one of the apparati, if you're into that kind of thing
• Fencing--the sport of secret agents and medieval aristocrats
• Random British phrase, said during the cycling road race--"he's trying to put the cat among the pigeons!"
• Speaking of the road race--geeez, was that long or what?
• I love listening to Béla Károlyi talk--"these girls have hearts like bulls".
• NBC is really pushing the "Fab 5" moniker for the women's gymnastics team.  YOU WILL ACCEPT THIS NICKNAME!
• US 5-time shooter Kim Rhode on her father calling her the Tiger Woods of her sport--"I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing"

More to come.

QISE Review - Day 0: Opening Ceremonies

A few notes while watching the big event...

• We get the standard Pomp and Circumstance intro extolling the virtues of the host country
• I thought Meredith Vieira retired from NBC--what's she doing there?
• The big pagaent looks like a Renaissance Faire to start--now with minorities!
• We then meet the cast of Oliver, ladies and gentlemen--plus men in top hats dancing energetically--it's TopHaticize!
• I hope no one was standing under the flaming rings...
• What a teamup--the Queen says HELLOOO to Bond.  Also, there's an apparent infestation of Corgis at the castle.
• A less successful teamup--Peter Pan meets The Exorcist
• There's a phlanx of dancing sick kids--no wonder people are up in arms about Nationalized Healthcare
• The kid's nightmares are dispelled by a platoon of Poppins. "We're here to have a spoonful of sugar and kick ass--and we're all out of sugar!!"
• Then it's time for British Dance Party!
• A note for Matt and Meredith--SHUT UP!! We can see what's happening.
• The neverending Parade of Nations, with Bob Costas providing trivia--some of which might even be true. They keep saying how fast it's going--wishful thinking?
• After 7 billion pieces of confetti were dropped, the idyllic grassy hill in the stadium looks like an highway offramp
• After the protocol stuff is completed, we get a mini-concert by Angela Lansbury--sorry, Sir Paul McCartney

More to come...

QISE Review - Day -1: Know Your Networks

I'll preface this post with the fact that I am in the United States, hence my references to QISE TV will revolve around NBC. I'm sure there are less than legal ways to see other countries' coverage, if you had a mind to...

• NBC: the big dog in the fight, and where you will find the marquee events. Most of their coverage will be in prime time, morning, late night, and weekends. Total coverage: 272.5 hours (as a guide, the London QISE games run 17 days, or 408 hours total)
• NBC Sports Network - Previously known as Versus, NBC basically bought them for QISE coverage. Team sports (basketball, women's soccer, and field hockey) can be found here. Total coverage: 257.5 hours
• CNBC: This is normally the mullet of television--business during the week, prison documentaries on the weekends. Boxing will be found here. Total coverage: 73 hours
• MSNBC: The bizarro Fox News will give way to various events, especially soccer (events actually began yesterday). Total coverage: 155.5 hours
• Bravo: The previously classy network will pre-empt The Real Housewives of Sheboygan for tennis. Total coverage: 56 hours
• Telemundo: La QISE Gigante--su GOOOOAALLL es para cubrir el fútbol, boxeo, natación y baloncesto, así como las ceremonias de apertura y cierre. Total cobertura: 173 horas (thanks spanishdict.com!) 
• There are also specialty channels for both soccer and basketball, depending on whether your provider signed up for them. Total coverage: 770 hours
• For the half dozen people with this ability, there is also a 3D channel. I'm guessing this will consist of the opening and closing ceremonies played over and over. Just think--Bob Costas in 3D! Total coverage: 242 hours
• Finally, there's the website that must not be named (it involves the name of the network and QISE). They will supposedly live stream every event and sport, plus awarding of all 302 medals. You can also get live streams of the cable channels here. All of this is available IF you can prove to their website that you have a cable or satellite account. If you are planning to watch the opening ceremonies this way, starting setting it up now--it took us a while (more details in a future post). Total coverage: over 3500 hours
• Grand total: 5499.5 hours. Again, keep in mind there are 408 actual hours during the 17 days of QISE.

Tomorrow--let the pageantry begin!

Quadrennial International Sporting Event (QISE) Review - Introduction

For the next two and a half weeks, I am suspending the normal reviews posted here (I know it's been spotty lately), in order to cover what I'm calling the "Quadrennial International Sporting Event" (QISE) to avoid copyright issues or angry letters from the QISE Committee.

I'm not a huge sports fan--I'll watch the S***r Bowl for the commercials, and I do enjoy seeing a baseball game in person once in a while, but for the most part, I couldn't care less.  That changes when the QISE comes around.  I'm glued to the TV set (even more than usual), and have been since I was a child. I even have a small connection to QISE--my mother was a nurse, and gave Dave Wottle, winner of the 800m run in Munich in 1972, his inoculations before the trip. In 1984, SF Productions taped a video of a fake QISE in North Canton, OH. I need to get around to editing that at some point...

Even more than the actual events, I love the coverage--the overblown pageantry, the breathless announcers, the ridiculous graphics. So, I broke down and got cable again (I've been a "cord cutter" for a few years) just so I could get all the coverage from the NBC galaxy of networks. It also allows me to review the online coverage (you have to have cable or satellite to get access). I have a Tivo with a 1TB disk expander hooked up, so I can record all the channels at will.

 That's what I will be doing for the next 19 days (there are soccer matches starting today, BTW)--covering the coverage, both on air and online.  I might mention major wins and losses along the way, as well as complain about bad QISE decisions (how are NBA players "amateur" athletes?).

We'll start tomorrow--I hope you enjoy it.

Star Trek TNG: Season Six Continues

More of TNG Season 6:

• In "Rascals", Picard, Guinan, Ro, and Keiko (brought together using the random character plot device) are turned into children. Fortunately, the Enterprise has a set of kid-sized uniforms on hand for all of them--even Guinan. Speaking of her, the actress playing young Guinan (Isis Carmen Jones) is very good. Not as good are security procedures on the Enterprise--the Ferengis take it over easily. Also. there's a great scene with Riker playing "Dad" to the young Picard.
• Worf and Cousin Oliv--Alexander find a "Fistful of Datas" on an "ancient" west holodeck. The difficulty level on the holodeck is apparently proportional to the amount of haze in the air. Meanwhile, Picard plays with 24th century Garageband. The whole idea of testing Data's ability to run the ship's systems without simulating it first seems incredibly irresponsible. Of course, so does the use of holodecks on the ship--does that ever go well?
• "The Quality of Life" is all about robotics and the limits of artificial life. There's a lot of philosophical discussion in the episode--Ellen Bry plays an over-aggressive engineer. The little robot Exocomps are actually cute--before it's determined the robots are alive. Data puts the lives of Picard and Geordi on the line to save them.
• It's another two-parter!  In "Chain of Command", Picard, Crusher, and Worf go on an undercover mission against the Cardassians. Since when is Dr. Crusher an espionage expert? Meanwhile, a new captain (Ronny Cox) takes over the Enterprise. He's rather brusque--he even tells Troi to wear a standard uniform (hear hear!). The espionage team wander through Papier-mâché caves while the Enterprise forcefully "negotiates" with the Cardassians. Picard is captured (why is Worf so useless?) and "interrogated". David Warner plays his usual role of fey villain--he's been on Trek before (Star Trek VI). Riker is relieved of duty while Picard and his interrogator spar with ACTING! This becomes an issue in the later seasons--episodes sometimes turns into "Audition Scenes for Genre Actors". Of course in the end, Picard is saved, and the temporary captain is gone.

Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix--more to come!

Star Trek TNG: Kicking Off Season Six

Here we are, starting the sixth season of TNG: 

• First, let's finish off "Time's Arrow". Data is in the 19th century with Guinan, and Mark Twain is blabbing to a reporter about it. We cut to Riker and Crusher, now in the 19th century as well (and apparently having stolen period clothing). They determine the "greys" are killing cholera victims and absorbing their death energy for sustenance. The bellman helps Twain break into Data's hotel room. The bellman wants Twain to write his story, but Twain tells him to write it himself. We learn the bellman is Jack London. Data and Guinan arrive and find Twain. In a hospital ward, Crusher runs into the Victorian couple, but they zap out. Our heroes almost get nabbed by the cops when Data arrives in a carriage to whisk them off. There's a goofy scene with a landlady and a fake play. The full away team--along with Twain--make it to cavern where they found Data's head. The Victorian couple appear--there's a struggle--and off goes Data's head. The group runs through another vortex--including Twain but without Picard, Guinan, and one of the Victorian couple. They wind up in the same cavern in the 24th century--with Data's headless body. Back in the older cave, Guinan has been injured. 24th century Guinan refuses to tell Riker what happened back then. Troi accompanies Twain around the ship, explaining how things have changed. They debate whether to destroy the cave, but we've learned that won't work. Gerodi finds an iron filing in Data's head--Picard left it there as a message to the future, so they don't fire until they rephase the torpedos. Twain goes back to save Picard and help Guinan. The cave is blown up and the "greys" are stopped.  Whew! A complicated but silly story.

These entries are getting way too long, so no more plot summaries--just my thoughts and questions.

• Barclay's back in "Realm of Fear". He's got a problem with transporters--he's never been through one. How could he possibly have gotten through Starfleet training without ever doing that? Also, there's a reference in the technobabble to the "Heisenberg Compensator". This is an in-joke used several times on Trek, based on the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. At one point, Troi relieves Barclay of his duties because of all the stress he's under--can she do that without Crusher's OK? It's not like she's a doctor. Finally, how does Barclay see the worm creature during transport--he wouldn't have working eyes (or a brain) when he's dematerialized.
• Troi picks the wrong guy (again) in "Man of the People". She gets old age makeup and becomes quite the "cougar". I love the scene with the ensign in her quarters putting on his boots--the universal sign on Trek for an intimate encounter. There's also a scene with an Ensign "Janeway". Finally, when Troi de-ages at the end, her hair immediately turns back to black--how does that work?
• We have another encounter with TOS in "Relics"--Scotty beams in after sitting in a transporter pattern buffer for 75 years. The Enterprise crew seem unimpressed and mostly ignore him--surely someone (Troi?) would be trying to help him acclimate to the new century? There is a nice callback to an alcoholic beverage that's "green". Another nice touch--at one point, Scotty goes onto the old bridge via holodeck. In the end, he's given a shuttle and heads out into space.
• The crew are having problems sleeping in "Schisms". Troi holds a group therapy session with Riker, Worf, Geordi, and an unnamed crewman who is not mentioned again. There's a wacky scene with Data giving a poetry recital that seems like it was written for Season One. The episode turns into an alien abduction story, with Riker "taken" via a poor visual effect.
• Q is back--in this case, "True Q". Olivia d'Abo guest stars as a medical honor student, and as it turns out, a member of the Q Continuum who wants a normal life. Of course, our regular Q shows up as well. I love how Picard has to act "civil" to him in front of her. Crusher gets a big part on this episode. At one point, the two Q's hang out on the outer hull. When the female Q does her tricks, I kept being reminded of Samantha on Bewitched.

 Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix--more to come! 

Hogan's Heroes - Part 23

Repoooort!  More Hogan...

• The boys use a work detail to bring in an underground agent--and uranium! Meanwhile, the Nazis are training non-comms for Command training--so Schultz is put in temporary command, over Klink's protests. Schultz gets into his role--complete with a monocle and a bad attitude. To get the agent out with his info, the boys discredit "Kommandant Schultz" with an escape--with Klink's help. The episode seems different--a lot of clearly exterior shots rather than a set.
• It's "Eight O'clock and All's Well". Hochstedder is looking for underground agents like always--and Stalag 13 is in the middle of it all. So, the boys have to lay low. A new prisoner (Monte Markham) arrives. They check him out, then let him in on the operation. Of course, he's a spy, so the boys grab him then set him up as a dead hero.  Mr. Whipple (Dick Wilson) also makes an appearance as an agent. Markham was all over TV from the 1960s to the 90's--Mission: Impossible, Hawaii Five-O, Mary Tyler Moore Show, Six Million Dollar Man, Love Boat, Murder She Wrote--all the way to Fringe.
• Klink gives the prisoners a recorder to send messages to their families (not sure why, other than to drive the plot). The Gestapo show up--there's a big meeting going on. The boys convince Schultz is a great singer--but to record him with the right acoustics, they need to get into the rec room (where the meeting is happening). Klink catches them--so he can record his string quartet. Meanwhile, the real recorder catches the meeting for "The Big Record".
• What are the Nazis are storing at Stalag 13--"It's Dynamite" (a big no-no, but they are the bad guys), on it's way to an unknown destination. Schultz is driving the truck, and the boys track him. However, he seems to disappear and then reappear the next morning. The underground finds the dynamite--hidden near important locations (plants, bridges). It's there in case the Nazis lose (scorched earth). Carter plays firechief, creating a diversion at the dynamite cache--along with a hot secretary (Lyn Peters) to distract Hochstedder and get the plans. That will allow the underground to use the dynamite for their own means.
• Tiger (Arlene Martel) has been captured, and Hogan ignores orders to save her--it's "Operation Tiger". A fake fight creates a diversion to get an underground agent (hey, Mr. Whipple!) into the camp. He tells them Tiger is being transported via train. They stop the train, warn the head man (Frank Marth) that the track is mined, and head him toward--let's say it together--Stalag 13. Hogan gets to her in the cooler--their plan is to get her off the train, then blow it up, so they think she's dead. After some difficulties, they pull it off.  One question--if they are going to blow up the train, why tie up the guards? They are going to die anyway. (I know the reason--the good guys on 60's TV can't be seen killing people directly.
• The radio-detection truck is back, so Hogan can't communicate with the outside world. Hogan scams Klink about a rich young widow, and convinces Schultz that Klink's staff car has a (now missing) two-way radio. Klink is scared off at the last moment, and the boys take the car into town to meet the underground agent. He gives the info, and they use the car's radio to communicate with London. At the end, Klink meets the young widow--she's quite a catch--in 'The Big Broadcast".      

Remember, you can play along! The DVD box set is available on Amazon.

Star Trek TNG: Wrapping Up Season Five

Let's finish this season of TNG:

• Again with the energy beings! Again with the kids! A ball of energy enters the ship,  sees a young girl Clara (Noley Thornton) talking to her "Imaginary Friend", and decides to make her real (Shay Astar). Of course, the adults still can't see Clara's friend. There's also technobabble nebula strand thingies that are slowing down the ship. Guinan has a moment with Clara. Troi tries psychology on the girl (she still thinks Clara is making her up), and attempts to "separate" them. She gets thrown around by the entity for her efforts. There's a whole "Single White Female" thing going on here. Her "friend" says she's going to kill them all--complete with red eyes. More energy beings show up and start draining the shields--Clara's friend is actually a scout for the others. Pciard gives a big speech about how humans care for their children, and the energy beings relent. One other note--I know this is was produced in the 80's, but Troi's hair is out of control. It looks like she has a poodle on her head.
• The Enterprise finds a crashed Borg ship--with a survivor (Jonathan del Arco). Picard (understandably) wants to retreat, but Crusher wants to save it(?!?). Picard has an idea--use this Borg as a virus, sending programming back through the Collective. Crusher is still worried about what is essentially genocide. Was she not here during "The Best of Both Worlds"? Guinan and Picard have a fencing match--both physically and via wordplay. The Borg announces he is "Third of Five", and wants to go home to the Collective. They decide to call him "Hugh" (bad idea). Geordi and Data present their "virus" to Picard (essentially the "figure out the last value of pi" bit). Guinan comes to Picard--she's had a change of heart, but wants Picard to talk her out of it. He talks to Hugh, playing up the Locutus bit. Hugh says "resistance is NOT futile", and refuses to help in assimilation. He gives Hugh the option for asylum or to go back as is (no virus)--he chooses the latter to save them. Their hope is that Hugh's individuality will be a more effective virus.
• A Romulan ship sends out an SOS and during the rescue, Geordi and Ro are apparently lost in mid-transport. But then we see Ro wake up on the Enterprise--no one can see or hear her, and she walks right through objects. Is she dead? She finds Geordi in engineering--he has the same problem. They discuss the afterlife--Ro is accepting it, Geordi not so much. Ro goes to the bridge and says her goodbyes using the Audition Scenes for Young Actors method. Geordi figures out the Romulans "phased" them--they're not dead, just cloaked. It's "The Next Phase". They also learn the Romulans plan to destroy the ship--and one Romulan follows them, walking through a control panel as he does (he's phased as well). Geordi gives Data hints by walking though things, but the phased Romulan finds Ro--he just wants to get re-phased. Ro and the Romulan have a merry chase through bulkheads and people--Geordi pushes him out the ship. Now they have to warn Picard--and they do it at their New Orleans-style wake.
• The Enterprise comes upon an alien probe, which seems to knock out Picard. He awakes to find his wife (?!?) standing over him, calling him "Kamin". He's on an alien planet, and everyone thinks he should be there. They tell him he's been ill, and try to convince him his memories of the Enterprise are just a dream. His wife Eline (Margot Rose) gives him a flute he's been trying to play for years. We cut back to the Enterprise--he's still there and unconscious. All attempt to block the probe's transmission from Picard fail. Back on the planet--it's 5 years later! He's still trying to figure out his "dreams"--his wife wants him to drop it and live his life with her. He agrees--and decides to start a family. A quick check with the Enterprise--and when we return, time has passed again, and his family is there. An attempt to stop the probe almost kills Picard. It's now 25 years since Kamin "arrived". His little girl is now a woman (Jennifer Nash). The planet is dying from drought--their sun is going nova. Eline dies from old age. FInally, a probe is launched--with Kamin's life encoded on it! That's what Picard has experienced--an entire life. Picard awakens back on the bridge--only 20 minutes have elapsed. The last scene is Picard playing the flute they found on the probe. "The Inner Light" is a terrific episode.
• Not so terrific is "Time's Arrow"--the season cliffhanger. A mining crew has found evidence of extraterrestrials on Earth in the 1800's--Data's head! Geordi want to talk to him about it, but Data is philosophical about it. Microbes on the head are only found on a distant planet, so off they go. Data is held back from the away team, and he wonders why--Picard is protecting him. Troi, on the away team, senses hundreds of human lives--just out of phase in time. Data has to go down in order to detect them. He phases out,, and starts seeing what sounds like "greys". There's a temporal distortion--and Data is gone. We wakes up on a 19th century backlot. He makes some money in a poker game, using his communicator as ante, and checks into a hotel. A Victorian couple somehow zap a bum in the street--shades of Doctor Who! Back on the Enterprise, they make plans to find Data and communicate with the "greys". Guinan warns Picard that he has to go with the next away team. Data reads that there's a literary reception--with Guinan's picture. We cut to Mark Twain--of course (Jerry Hardin)--at the reception. Data barges in--Guinan is there, but this is before she knew him. Twain eavesdropped, and heard way too much. Back in the 24th century, the team phases in--and sees the "greys". There's a lot of Spielbergian lights and vortices, one of which they enter.  TO BE CONTINUED!    

Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix--more to come!

Star Trek TNG: Season Five Continues

More of TNG Season 5:

• There are "Violations" in the next episode. A group of Ullians are on the ship--they are "telepathic historians" that can probe memories of others. They wear bizarre cut up robes as costumes. Troi talks to one of them (Ben Lemon) before they go to their separate quarters, then she has weird memories and feelings--first about Riker, and suddenly about the Ullian. It's like something out of Cinemax After Dark--it puts her in a coma. The same thing then happens to Riker and Crusher--he has to make a life and death decision, and she has memories of her husband dying and Picard (with hair) taking her to see his body. Data and Geordi check out the planets the Ullians visited, and find more cases of coma. Troi wakes up with no memories of what happened, so the Ullians suggest they probe her memories. The younger Ullian frames the older one, but he overplays his hand with Troi. A rather creepy episode.
• It's another planet in peril (this time by a technobablle fragment) in "The Masterpiece Society". This "society" was genetically engineered--they don't want to be evacuated. Troi develops a romantic relationship with their leader played by John Snyder (seems pretty quick after the last episode). Their engineer (Dey Young) works with Geordi--they come up with a plan to save the planet. After a liaison, Troi breaks off the relationship. Engineering teams come to the colony to help set up defenses, and the fragment is deflected just enough enough to save them. The engineer from the colony mocks up a "breach" on the colony because she wants to leave--others want to as well. In the end, having the Enterprise "save" the colony did more harm than good.
• It's quite the "Conundrum"--the Enterprise attempts a first contact with an alien ship, and suddenly no one remembers who they are. They have a basic understanding of their jobs, but that's it. Who's in charge? Worf decides he is, since he has a sash. Data was behind the bar at Ten Forward when all this happened, so he thinks he's the bartender. There's also a new officer on the ship (Erich Anderson). Digging into more ship info, they learn they are at war (?) with an alien race--and have orders to take out their HQ. Everybody gets to play against type--for example, Ro gives Riker a booty call, and he in turn plays with Troi. The new officer pushes Picard to destroy a small ship, and gets Worf on his side. In the end, Picard refuses to attack a helpless vessel, the new officer is actually working for another race, and Crusher presumably figures out how to fix their heads.
• An away team (Riker, Data, and Troi) crash their shuttle on a planet with electromagnetic storms, forcing O"Brien to beam down with a doohickey to save them. Energy-based entities inhabit their bodies (except for Riker, since he had a broken arm) before they beam up, and they quickly take hostages in Ten-Forward.  It's a "Power Play". Picard agrees to take the injured hostage's place, and finds out the entities are from a 200 year old Federation ship--they just want to escape the planet. There's plenty of technobabble, a botched rescue mission, and a hostage walk to a cargo bay. It turns out the entities have nothing to do with the older ship--they are condemned prisoners. Picard forces their hand, and the entities skeedaddle. Mindy and I agree this was a 'meh" episode.
• Worf's back is broken in an accident, and Crusher can't fix it. A specialist is brought on board who has "Ethics" issues. She wants to replace his spine with a replicated one--Crusher won't approve such an untested procedure. Worf asks Riker to help him perform ritual suicide--he refuses--and Picard tells him not to be so terran-centric (?). Troi steps in to take care of Cousin Oliver--er, Alexander. This is the start of the relationship between Troi and Worf. Speaking of the Klingon, he refuses a 60% solution, so the specialist brings up the untested procedure--Crusher is pissed, but Worf wants to try it. Riker tells Worf that Alexander must help with the suicide--that stops him. Now Picard steps in, and convinces Crusher to do the untested procedure. Worf asks Troi to step in as Alexander's mom if things go badly. Of course, after some dramatic moments, the untested procedure works. This is like a Marcus Welby episode--in SPAAACE!

Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix--more to come!

Hogan's Heroes - Part 22

After a hiatus, we're moving onto the final season of Hogan's Heroes. Ivan Dixon (Kinchloe) has left the series, to be replaced by Kenneth Washington (Baker). No explanation from a narrative perspective--it's the Two Darrens syndrome.

• LeBeau is doing his normal job--chef by day, spy by night--when he gets word that de Gaulle is calling in all free Frenchmen to fight. Of course, he wants to go, and despite the boys arguments, he does. There's a strange moment when he says goodbye to each of them including Baker, who we've known for less than 10 minutes. The girl (Brenda Benet) helping her escape is captured, so Hogan and the boys help him out--as long as LeBeau comes back for more "Cuisine 'a la Stalag 13".
• A Gestapo man (Edward Knight) comes into camp, then grabs and shoots a german soldier--why? Turns out he was involved in a top secret project at his last post--and there's a second man involved that's now on leave (Noam Pitlik). Hogan and the boys get to him just before the bad guys do in "The Experts".   
• It's another scam on Klink--this time Hogan convinces the Commandant he's a great painter. It's all so they can meet underground agents at an art gallery for "Klink's Masterpiece". It's very much like a Sgt. Bilko episode--except for the POW camp.
• The plane of an English traitor, Sir Charles Chitterly, crashes near Stalag 13--he happens to look a lot like Col. Critterdon (Bernard Fox). The boys want to nab him, so they have to break out the real Crittendon from a nearby stalag and set him up to replace the traitor. They make the swap before the Nazi general (Harold Gould) comes up pick up Chitterly. Unfortunately, his wife (Anne Rogers) shows up, which is a problem for "Lady Chatterly's Lover". She's apparently one of the good guys and she wants him dead (the real one) so she joins the team. Ooh, it's a two parter...
• Hitler wants Chitterly in Berlin ASAP--that's a problem. Lady Chitterly doesn't trust  Hogan, and vice versa--another problem. She decides to play up a former relationship with Hogan, in order to delay their exit from the camp. The real Crittendon escapes from the tunnels, and confuses Klink and Schultz. If that isn't enough, Hochstedder arrives and there's a lot of shouting. Hitler calls (?!?) and Lady Chitterly tells him to send troops across the channel (so they can be ambushed). Crittendon and Lady Chitterly are on their way to England before that happens.
• The Gestapo is back--Maj. Strauss (Joseph Ruskin) is checking out the camp.  It's "The Gestapo Takeover" of the whole operation, sending the current administration to Stalingrad. Hogan needs to get rid of them--Klink agrees to ally with him to avoid the Russian Front. I love Klink in sunglasses trying to be incogneto. Hogan decides to blackmail Strauss. Klink (of course) is the patsy, giving papers to Burkhalter that Strauss and his boss are involved in a plot to kill Hitler and surrender to the allies. 

Remember, you can play along! The DVD box set is available on Amazon.

Star Trek TNG: Two Generations Meet

We begin with a two-parter that brings The Original Series and TNG together...

• "Unification Part 1" begins with a mission for the Enterprise--find out why Ambassador Spock (yes, that Spock) went to the Romulan Empire. Picard visits Sarek to get some info, but he's mentally fading (it's one of Mark Lenard's last performances). Picard gets Gowron to loan them a cloaked ship, so off go Picard and Data to Romulus while the Enterprise investigates the wreckage of a Vulcan ship. There's a lot of wackiness with a ship junkyard and Picard on a Klingon ship--then word comes that Sarek has died. Picard and Data get to Romulus, but are taken to a cave, and we finally run into Leonard Nimoy as Spock. Three more TOS connections: their contact on Romulus is played by Malachi Throne who played a Commodore on the TOS two-parter "The Menagerie", this episode was a kind of sequel to Star Trek VI which hit the box office shortly after, and the most significant--Gene Roddenberry died just before this episode originally aired.
• In the second part of "Unification", Picard tells Spock of Sarek's death. Spock is there to foster a peace initiative between Vulcan and Romulus--there's a movement on the latter world. Riker and Worf have a subplot at a bar, but it's immaterial. There's court intrigue back on Romulus--Sela (Denise Crosby) is sneaking around. Picard is suspicious, while Spock wants to play things out. Spock and Data have an interchange about humanity. Sela captures our heroes--she wants Spock to announce a fake peace mission, and she has a holographic Spock if he won't do it (and he won't of course). They fool her with their own holograms, and they screw around with the Spock hologram as well. In a lovely touch, Data takes her out with the ol' Vulcan Nerve Pinch. Picard and Data manage to escape, but Spock decides to stay behind to help the resistance.
• In "A Matter of Time", the Enterprise is assisting a distressed planet (an ecological catastrophe is causing a nuclear winter) when a visitor (Matt Frewer) arrives on the bridge--he says he's a historian from the 26th century. The crew seems to accept this fairly easily. At one point, the historian hits on Crusher! Meanwhile, the ship's attempts to save the planet make the problem worse. Data and Geordi come up with a new plan--but if the technobabble is just a wee bit off, it will burn off the planet's atmosphere. Picard tries to get the historian to tell him how things turn out--but he can't, since it would change history. Lots of philosophical speeches follow. In the end, Picard chooses to try--and because this is TV, it works. The historian attempts to leave, but Picard notes that items have disappeared (he's been collecting tech all over the ship)), and he demands to see his ship. Only Data is allowed on the ship--it turns out the "historian" is an inventor from the 22nd century that happened to get a hold of a timeship from the 26th century. The ship returns to it's own time without him. 
• Worf has some "New Ground" to cover--his son Alexander (Brian Bonsall) drops by with Worf's "Earthly" mother (Georgia Brown) for a visit. He happens to mention that he's not going back. Mom explains that they are too old to keep up with him, and that he needs to be with Worf. Alexander is a handful--he lies to his teacher. Worf's not the best dad either. There's also a subplot about a new type of propulsion that would mean building a huge facility on every planet--seems impractical. It goes badly, and Geordi has to save the day. This plot seems like "episode helper" to pad out the time. However, it does cause a fire that brings father and son together. In the end, Worf decides to keep Alexander on the Enterprise, making him the "Cousin Oliver" of TNG.
• Again with the kid episodes! In "Hero Worship", a derelict ship is found near a technobabble cluster with a single survivor--a child (Joshua Harris) that Data saves. The kid's parents were on the ship, so now he's alone. He imprints on the emotionless android, adopting his speech patterns and mannerisms. Data helps him through the process. Meanwhile, the ship goes into the cluster to find out what happened. The kid believes that he's the cause of the ship's destruction, but he couldn't have done it. He then helps Data figure out why the ship is being buffeted in the cluster--their shields are being reflected back at them, smashing into the ship. That's what destroyed the other ship. One other point--this episode is the Bermuda Triangle for guest actors. Harris did one other TV gig, then became a minor-league baseball player, and ended up producing. There's an ensign at the Conn position (Sheila Franklin) who played the same role three more times, playing a doctor in an earlier episode, then had one minor movie role, and then left the business.   

Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix--more to come!

Star Trek TNG: Onto Season Five

Four seasons down, three to go...

• We begin with the resolution of "Redemption" from last season. Picard calls for a blockade so the Romulans can't help the Klingons, using an electronic "net" among the ships. There's not enough experienced crew for all the ships (remember the Borg?), so both Riker and Data and given their own commands. Meanwhile, the Klingons are fighting among themselves (how did they ever achieve spaceflight?). Data is having his own problems--his first officer refuses to work with him. We learn that the mysterious blond Romulan is Tasha's daughter--the one who went to the Enterprise-C in "Yesterday's Enterprise". Worf is kidnapped by Duras's sisters and offered a deal--of course, he refuses. Picard sets a trap, the Romulans pull a counter move, Data figures out how to find them even cloaked, and the Romulans retreat. The Klingon bad guys give up, and Worf returns to the Enterprise. Whew! There's just too many storylines going on here--it's a confusing episode.
• We forced ourselves to watch "Darmok"--an episode about language. An attempt to communicate with a bizarre race ends up with Picard and the alien captain (Paul Winfield) working together to survive on a planet. The race's language is all based on metaphor, which makes it hard for anyone not familiar with the references. The episode also introduces Picard's new uniform (which I have a copy of), a minor change to the show's logo, and a recurring minor character played by a then unknown Ashley Judd.
• The next episode introduces "Ensign Ro", played by Michelle Forbes. The Bajoran / Cardassian conflict is also introduced--it's the Palestine conflict IN SPAAACE. This concept is the basis for the DS9 series and influences Voyager. Ro is "assigned" to the Enterprise by a Starfleet admiral--she has a troubled past that resulted in a court martial--in order to stop Bajoran separatists that attacked a Federation settlement. Guinan ends up befriending her when no one else would. It turns out the admiral sent Ro to give weapons to the separatists. She opens up to Picard, who decides to play out the plan and "see what happens". In the end, Picard convinces Ro to stay on the Enterprise. They do make a big deal about Ro's earring and Starfleet "dress code", despite the fact that Worf wears a sash and Troi wears whatever she likes.
• The Crystalline Entity last seen in "Datalore" returns in "Silicon Avatar". It attacks a planet being colonized, wiping out all life (Riker and an away team survives in a cave). An expert on the entity, Kila Marr (played by Ellen Geer), comes on board--she detests Data, based on what she knows about Lore. Her son died on the same planet Data is from, and has spent her life tracking it down. The story turns into Moby Dick, with Marr as Ahab. In the end, she realizes that Data is nothing like Lore. Data, who has the memories of all his home world's colonists, reads her son's journals to her in his voice. Despite all this (or maybe because of this), she uses a method of communications to destroy the entity. Data, in an uncharacteristic rude moment, tells her his son would be saddened by hat she did.
• The next episode is worthy of Irwin Allen--it's a "Disaster". The ship is hit by some technobabble thingy which takes out ships power and causes lots of injuries. Fortunately, lots of interesting scenarios were set up beforehand. Picard is taking some kids on a tour of the ship, leaving Troi inadvertently in charge when the ship is hit. Crusher and LaForge are in a cargo hold with radioactive stuff. Keiko (who's suddenly very pregnant) and Worf are on Ten Forward. Picard gets the kids and himself out a broken turbolift, Riker and Data move from Ten Forward toward the bridge, but he's forced to take off Data's head to make it. Troi managed command very well, with help from O'Brien and Ro, despite having no clue what to do (She really needs Starfleet training). The doctor and the engineer depressurize the hold to get ride of the bad stuff, and Worf delivers Keiko's baby despite a lousy bedside manner.
• Speaking of disasters, Wesley's back in "The Game". He's on the Enterprise on vacation from the academy, and runs into officer Leffler (Ashley Judd again)--they hit it off. Meanwhile, Riker brought a new electronic game from Risa. It's very popular on the ship--it ties into your neural network and gives you a shot to your pleasure center when you win. It starts taking over the crew--at one point, Crusher takes out Data! It's a whole "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" vibe. Picard brings the Enterprise to meet a strange ship--it's the girl that gave RIker the game on Risa. They plan to send the game across the Federation. Data Ex Machina saves the day with a flashlight. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some Angry Birds to play...

Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix--more to come!

Star Trek TNG: Wrapping Up Season Four

• In "The Drumhead", there's an explosion on board, while secret info on the Enterprise is sent to the Romulans. An admiral (played by the celebrated film actress Jean Simmons) comes out of retirement to lead the investigation. She ends up starting a witch hunt against the Enterprise crew and Picard in particular. Both Mindy and I thought this episode was rather stilted--there's a lot of speech-making rather than dialogue.
• Lwaxana Troi is back in "Half a Life"--which means Picard is jumpy. She invites herself to a meeting with a reclusive alien scientist, played by David Ogden Stiers. Lwaxana has fallen in love with him--unfortunately, his race practices ritual suicide when they reach a certain age. Lwaxana insists Picard stop him, but the Prime Directive is in the way. Lwaxana breaks down in front of Deanna--a rare dramatic performance by Majel Barrett Roddenberry. Lwaxana manages to convince the scientist to live on, but his daughter (Michelle Forbes, in an early TV role--she'll be back as Ensign Ro Laren) comes onboard and reminds him of their way. He returns to his planet, and Lwaxana joins him for the "ceremony".  A much more subtle "message" episode than the previous one.
• Crusher is in love--which means her paramour is doomed.  In this case, she's infatuated with "The Host" (played by Franc Luz) of a symbiote. She only finds this out when he's critically injured. He's needed for delicate alien negotiations--they call for a new host from the same race, but it will take too long to get there, so Riker volunteers. Riker/Symbiote wants to continue their relationship, but she's confused. Troi's also in the mix, since Crusher asks for her advice--she obviously has mixed feelings. Unfortunately, Riker is dying from the treatments to keep the symbiote alive--he gets Crusher to agree to remove him from Riker. In the end, the new host arrives--and it's a woman. Crusher loses again.
• Geordi's on his way to Risa for shore leave after a seminar--in a shuttle. Of course, he gets attacked by Romulans in "The Mind's Eye". They capture him and go all "Clockwork Orange" on him, sending horrible images directly into his neural implants and brainwashing him. They then send him back to the Enterprise, where they are handling a diplomatic crisis with the Klingons. Data's monitoring strange transmissions, figures out that Geordi's visor is the receiver, and stops him from completing an assassination. In the end, the Klingon ambassador (Edward Wiley) turns out to be the turncoat.
• We get another character episode "In Theory". A crewwoman (played by Michele Scarabelli, best known for her work on Alien Nation) is getting out of a relationship while working with Data. She decides that he is so kind and generous that she initiates a romantic relationship. Of course, Data treats this as a scientific experiment, asking his friends what he should do. He makes the leap--or at least he writes a new subroutine for her, drawing from literature on the topic of love. He oscillates from charming to creepy, even starting a "lovers' quarrel" with her. She's clearly delusional--Data told her multiple times that all he can do is simulate his "love" for her. In the end, she cuts off the romance. There's also a technobabble crisis about dark matter and warps in space time, blah blah blah...
• We finish the season with another cliffhanger--this time, it's all about the Klingons. In "Redemption Part 1", Picard completes his duties as Arbiter that he began in "Sins of the Father", officially making Gowron (googly-eyed Robert O'Reilly) leader of the Klingon High Council. Worf is looking for his family's name to be cleared, there's intrigue with sisters of the traitor Duras (who Worf killed earlier), and the Romulans are sneaking around. Gowron initially refuses Worf's plea. but after Worf fights alongside him in a ship battle, he relents. Worf wants to fight in the inevitable civil war, but Picard says that's a conflict of interest as a Starfleet officer--so Worf resigns his commission. There's an impressive scene with the crew lined up in the corrdiors to honor Worf as he leaves the Enterprise. In the end, there's a big reveal--someone who looks a lot like Tasha as a Romulan (even has the Moe haircut) steps out of the shadows. TO BE CONTINUED...  

Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix--more to come!

Star Trek TNG: Even More Season 4

• We begin this batch of episodes with "First Contact", where we learn how the process actually works. Riker is on a planet incognito doing reconnaissance, and is badly injured. This forces Picard to move up plans for first contact, beaming in next to one of their chief scientists (Carolyn Seymour). She is accepting of the new arrivals, as is their chancellor (George Coe), but other are fearful, including the security minister (Michael Ensign). The episode centers around the new race rather than the regular cast.  It's a fascinating episode.
• We have a returning guest--Dr. Leah Brahms (Susan Gibney). Of course, the last time she was on the ship, it was as a hologram LaForge mocked up to help him. The real Brahms is officious--she wants to know why he has changed engine settings. LaForge overdoes a "date" with her (he always seems to do this), then finds out she's married. A space-based alien shows up and starts draining the ship's energy--Picard is forced to shoot it. The alien was about to give birth, so they help deliver "Galaxy's Child". Unfortunately, now "Junior" is draining the ship. Brahms wants to know more about the engine mods, so LaForge leaves her with his records--she finds the holodeck file and the other Brahms. After a fight, they manage to work together to save the ship--and we get the "sour the milk" reference used on other sci-fi shows.
• In "Night Terrors", the Enterprise comes upon a derelict ship--all aboard are dead except for a catatonic Betazoid. They determine that the ship--and the Enterprise--are stuck in a technobabble loop that drains their energy and stops them from dreaming (except for Troi). People start hallucinating things, and Data takes over the ship. Troi is able to contact the other Betazoid telepathically, and then figures out she can send a message to another ship in the loop. Together, they blow up the loop, and Data orders everyone to bed.
• Levar Burton must have complained he wasn't getting enough screen time--he stars on another episode, "Identity Crisis". Before he was on the Enterprise, LaForge was on an away mission, and now the members of that mission are going AWOL then disappearing. The only other remaining member of that mission (played by Maryann Plunkett) is also on the Enterrpise. A theory that aliens are abducting them is wrong--they are becoming aliens themselves. A parasite is changing their DNA, to the point that they are essentially invisible. The other affected officer tracks down LaForge on the planet using ultraviolet light. The makeup team put in a lot of hours in this episode.
• Barclay's back in "The Nth Degree". We start with Barclay (Dwight Schultz) in Crusher's drama group (do these people ever work?), and he's his normally bumbling self. During a mission, he gets blasted by an alien probe--suddenly, he's hyper-intelligent and hyper-confident. He even saves the ship from the probe. Now they have to fix an antenna array also affected by the probe--he can fix it far faster than they can. He ends up tying into the main computer via the holodeck--becoming one with the computer. Now he's sending them faster than the ship has ever gone. An alien super-intelligence (played by Kay E. Kuter) shows up--they're explorers too, bringing other races to them. Barclay is put back to normal(?).
• Q (John de Lancie) is back, as is Vash (Jennifer Hetrick) in "Qpid". The latter appears in Picard's quarters--there's an awkward moment when Crusher stops by. None of the officers have heard of her (Picard never brought her up). Q then shows up in his ready room--he wants to repay Picard for saving his life--Picard just wants him to leave. Vash and Picard have a spat, and Q realizes how he can repay them: put them in a classic adventure--say Robin Hood, with Vash as Maid Marian. She flips the script and works to save herself. In the end, Vash partners up with Q to explore the universe. It's a very fun episode.    

Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix--more to come!

Hogan's Heroes - Part 21

Let's finish up Season 5...

• Klink's in hot water again--it's "Standing Room Only". There's a jealous Kommandant from another camp, and he's there to learn from the Iron Colonel. He finds out how Klink cooks the books, and is about to rat him out. Meanwhile, Hogan has a lot of escaped prisoners in the tunnels. He solves the whole thing by getting some of the prisoners recaptured, and having others dressed as Germans take them away, along with the other Kommandant (Noam Pitlik, in one of his many Hogan roles).
• A beautiful German singer (Marlyn Mason) tells Hogan that the Gestapo has a double agent with info on all underground agents, which also puts their operation in danger. They put Hochstedder off the trail by giving him "Six Lessons from Madame LaGrange" (LeBeau). Howard Caine gets a chance to shine as he dances with Clary (although they are dancing a box step, and not the Foxtrot he's supposedly being taught).
• Burkhalter finds Schultz sleeping on the job, so it's off the the Russian Front for him. Unfortunately, Hogan has been suing him to ferry pieces of a map inside loaves of bread in "The Sergeants' Analyst". To save Schultz, Newkirk hypnotizes him to believes he's a leader of men. The boys then make Schultz look good--maybe too good...
• All the world loves a lover--and Klink, apparently. "The Merry Widow" calls for Wilhelm, mostly since she's an agent and he's unknowingly ferrying microfilm to her. When Hogan finds out it's the wrong film, they get her to call in Schultz. There's a even a Three's Company moment when both Klink and Schultz are in her apartment at the same time. Marj Dusay is back as the "widow".
• It's a return visit from "Critterdon's Commandos"--unfortunately, Crittendon (Bernard Fox) the only one that makes it through to Stalag 13. He was sent to capture Rommel (?!?), so Hogan and the boys step in to assist. Despite Crittendon's "help", they manage to swipe "the desert fox" from a local hospital. However, it turns out to be the one the Allies were going to trade for Rommel, so it all works out.
• The allies are trying to take out a bridge, Hogan is processing flyers who parachuted out, and Klink is entertaining another fraulein (Pamela Curran). Burkhalter arrives and cranks up security. In order to resolve the problem, Hogan gets Klink to LET them escape (in order to "discover" the prisoner escape center). They have to delay the operation until they're ready to blow up the bridge themselves, so Klink gives them more and more ludicrous opportunities. Finally, they give Klink what he wants in a "radio play" via the bugs in the barracks. Klink even provides German uniforms--Hogan's starting to wonder why he didn't do this in the first place in "Klink's Escape". The topper--Hogan has Newkirk drop the tracking device in Burkhalter's car, so Schultz and the troops break into the general's chalet--with the fraulein.                

Edward Knight had 6 Hogan roles, along with many others (Twelve O'Clock High, Wild Wild West, Mission: Impossible, Marcus Welby, The Rockford Files) in the 60's and 70's. He's probably better known as the father of Christopher Knight (Peter on The Brady Bunch).

We'll move onto Season 6 next time. Remember, you can play along! The DVD box set is available on Amazon.