Previously, on "The Inducing Panic Affair"--I was involved in a public access cable show, and shooting fake TV promos for Arab stereotype "Habba Habba"…
One idea for a promo was "Habba Vice"--a takeoff on Miami Vice. The concept was the very end of a car chase, with two cars stopping, Habba and his partner getting out of the car, pulling out obviously fake guns (I believe they were purple and orange), and yelling "Freeze--Habba Vice!" (Thursdays at 9). So where do we shoot this footage? Today, I-670 in Columbus can take you from the airport to downtown and the west side. In 1988, it was unfinished and financially uncertain--the west end stopped in a large pile of gravel. Looked like a good site for the promo!
We set up in the closed section near the gravel pile (of course, we didn't get a permit to do so). I was running the camera--actually my old camcorder I got as a graduation present. First take, our fake cops couldn't extricate themselves from the seat belts in time, so we set up again. In the second take, I half-heard a roar behind me, but I was too focused on getting the shot. Why weren't the guys getting out of the car? Then I hear someone say "Whoa" behind me. At that point, I did something I still regret--I hit the pause button.
I turn around to see a Columbus policeman who we will call Officer Fife, pointing a gun at me. He ordered everyone from the cars and to get on the ground. For a moment, I hesitated, since I was holding onto my personal camcorder, and didn't want to get it scratched. But fear of guns turned out to be the better part of valor. We tried to explain that we were just shooting a video, but he wasn't listening--I think he was convinced we were taping a terrorist video, long before 9/11. He called in for backup (at one point, there were six police cars there) and moved us into the back of two of the police cars. He then commenced to argue with other cops over the whole thing (it became apparent Officer Fife was a bit jumpy and tended to overreact). Most of the cops proceeded to leave. I found out that cops carry a huge book of state laws in their trunk--I assume this is on their phones now. He sifted through it, trying to find something to actually charge us with. He finally found "Inducing Panic"--this is the one where you yell "FIRE!" in a crowded theater. It seemed that the only panic we were inducing was in Officer Fife, as he, the other cops, and us were the only people around. In any case, after a stern talking to, he wrote us up for a court date, and sent us home.
Will our heroes be thrown in the hoosegow? Stay tuned.