The Inducing Panic Affair: Act Five - Epilogue

Previously on the "Inducing Panic Affair"--we're on the local news!

Let's do a "where are they now" wrap-up.

• "Brian" went on to work in some capacity at SNL--I knew he would make it big!  I have not heard back from him since then.
• Officer Fife was later reprimanded for incorrectly discharging his firearm and injuring himself.
• Judge Deborah Pryce went on to be US Congresswoman Pryce--the only politician I would always vote for, no matter her politics.
• Two of the cast members, W.D. and Marty, and I met in 1989 after "Inducing" Panic finally aired (it took months to edit) and discussed plans for another show ("Brian" had moved on by this point). We wanted to do it in the studio, and make it a series we could easily produce. The discussion somehow got into the Flintstones, and someone said "there's your show!". We started Vast Wasteland by 1990, and the show ran for ten years. We shot the show in the studio, did little or no editing, and handed in the tape the same night.  We finally pulled the plug after getting tired of new rules from the public access station--they were cracking down after some problematic shows.  Speaking of...
• The public access station asked "Brian" and I to speak at a national conference (on our own dime) about our experiences. We impolitely declined. They later gave us the "Inducing Panic" award at the annual awards show. The station, and most of public access TV, was displaced by the internet in 2000.

..and that's all she (or I) wrote. A quick freeze shot, and then the closing credits...

The Inducing Panic Affair: Act Four - And in Local News…

Previously on the "Inducing Panic Affair" - our heroes are vindicated in court.

I assumed the whole saga was over, and went back to my normal life. A few months later, I got a call at the office from the local NBC station (WCMH-4), asking me about the whole thing.  For some reason, they were suddenly interested in a dead story. They wanted to get my footage, and I explained that I had not gotten around to picking up my camcorder at the courthouse (I guess I wanted the dust to settle first). The reporter (Bob Singleton--since retired) asked me when I could get it, and I replied that I was taking the bus to work, so it would be a while before I could arrange it. He replied "no problem--we'll meet you at your office when you get off work". I came out the front door and the Channel 4 News Van whisked me away.

We met with the judge in the case, Deborah Pryce, who was later our US Congresswoman. She and Singleton chatted for a moment, we left with the   camcorder, and they dropped me off at my apartment, promising to return with the camera after they dubbed it off. Singleton called back a bit later--could they also interview me when they came out?  Sure, why not?  Keep in mind that "Brian" was our producer, and really should have been involved--but he was back in college and out of town by that point. I picked out my Late Night with David Letterman sweatshirt (I figured it wouldn't hurt, with them being NBC and all). Singleton shot some footage with me in my apartment, handed me the camcorder, and thanked me again.

I set up the VCR to tape what I assumed would be a "and finally in the news" wacky story at the end of the news broadcast. This was during the 1988 Summer Olympics, so the news ended up being shown very late and very condensed--so my story was dumped, right? Wrong.

The news (anchored by Angela Pace, now working in PR for another station) started with a national story about a guy who was shot in a cathedral in New York. The second story--THE FIRST LOCAL STORY--was the "Inducing Panic" saga. It started with live video with Singleton from the scene of the crime--the unfinished freeway in the middle of the night. Not sure why that made sense. He gave an intro, then onto my footage, followed by a few quotes from me in my apartment. He wrapped it up with a pithy quote, followed by Pace announcing that our show would be called "Inducing Panic". Free advertising!

Next--we wrap up the story in a neat little bow.

The Inducing Panic Affair: Act Three - Law and Disorder

Previously on the "Inducing Panic Affair"--my video crew and I were arrested for "Inducing Panic", and awaiting our court date.

The local paper wrote up the event, and made it sound a bit more serious than it actually was--I got some ribbing at the office about it. I contacted the management of the public access TV station, and asked about our next steps. They informed me that, since I wasn't using their equipment, they disavowed any knowledge of the event. So much for their "video for the people--take down THE MAN" philosophy. In a huge stroke of luck, our producer "Brian" was working as an intern at one of the largest law firms in the city. We met with one of their attorneys at a local restaurant--he was ready to take on the city, and more importantly, was going to do it "pro bono" (for free). We went over the details, and he told us he would handle the whole thing--we didn't need to appear in court. We thanked him profusely and crossed our fingers.

Since I wasn't in court, the next events were described by our attorney:

By this point, the issue was getting some negative attention from the city, and it became clear they wanted the whole thing to go away--they also didn't want us to sue the city for wrongful arrest, since we had a hot shot lawyer on our side. So, the attorneys and the judge set to find ways to throw out the charges. The first step was to view the only evidence--the footage from my camcorder. Officer Fife had confiscated it, but they needed to find a way to see the video. Apparently, courtrooms at the time had little or no methods to show video, so they ended up going to the jury holding room and spent some time figuring out the connections. The prospective jurors got a good laugh from that.

The first charge to be thrown out was mine--why?  Because I wasn't on the video (because I was shooting the video). They managed to find ways to whittle down the other charges until they were down to "pedestrian on the highway" (a minor misdemeanor) for the two "Habba Vice" cops--it was on the footage, so they couldn't ignore it.

Our attorney met with us again, and gave us two options--a) fight the remaining charges which totaled $15 in fines, and consider suing the city for wrongful arrest (which he was clearly ready to do), or b) pay the $15 and sign a statement that we would not sue the city. We were basically kids at the time, and wanted this to go away, so we chose B.

So our story comes to a close?  Not quite yet. Next time, we peer through the looking glass…

The Inducing Panic Affair: Act Two - The Crime

Previously, on "The Inducing Panic Affair"--I was involved in a public access cable show, and shooting fake TV promos for Arab stereotype "Habba Habba"…

One idea for a promo was "Habba Vice"--a takeoff on Miami Vice. The concept was the very end of a car chase, with two cars stopping, Habba and his partner getting out of the car, pulling out obviously fake guns (I believe they were purple and orange), and yelling "Freeze--Habba Vice!" (Thursdays at 9). So where do we shoot this footage? Today, I-670 in Columbus can take you from the airport to downtown and the west side. In 1988, it was unfinished and financially uncertain--the west end stopped in a large pile of gravel. Looked like a good site for the promo!

We set up in the closed section near the gravel pile (of course, we didn't get a permit to do so). I was running the camera--actually my old camcorder I got as a graduation present. First take, our fake cops couldn't extricate themselves from the seat belts in time, so we set up again. In the second take, I half-heard a roar behind me, but I was too focused on getting the shot. Why weren't the guys getting out of the car?  Then I hear someone say "Whoa" behind me. At that point, I did something I still regret--I hit the pause button.

I turn around to see a Columbus policeman who we will call Officer Fife, pointing a gun at me. He ordered everyone from the cars and to get on the ground. For a moment, I hesitated, since I was holding onto my personal camcorder, and didn't want to get it scratched. But fear of guns turned out to be the better part of valor. We tried to explain that we were just shooting a video, but he wasn't listening--I think he was convinced we were taping a terrorist video, long before 9/11. He called in for backup (at one point, there were six police cars there) and moved us into the back of two of the police cars. He then commenced to argue with other cops over the whole thing (it became apparent Officer Fife was a bit jumpy and tended to overreact). Most of the cops proceeded to leave. I found out that cops carry a huge book of state laws in their trunk--I assume this is on their phones now. He sifted through it, trying to find something to actually charge us with. He finally found "Inducing Panic"--this is the one where you yell "FIRE!" in a crowded theater. It seemed that the only panic we were inducing was in Officer Fife, as he, the other cops, and us were the only people around. In any case, after a stern talking to, he wrote us up for a court date, and sent us home.

Will our heroes be thrown in the hoosegow? Stay tuned.

The Inducing Panic Affair: Act One - The Beginning

I was recently telling a supposedly interesting story from my past to a friend, and realized I have never committed it to writing. So, here we go. As on any crime drama, "the names have been changed to protect the innocent".

When I moved to Columbus, OH in 1987 to start my career, I wasted no time getting cable TV hooked up. I found a channel with low rent programs--it was "public access" TV. The cable industry, in order to ingratiate themselves and get their monopolistic contracts, offered markets their own channel to show local programs. In most TV markets, this consists of a channel showing the local weather and announcements--they would show your program if you brought them a tape, in the right format. In a few markets, however, there was an actual TV "station" where you could make shows, and Columbus was one of them. Think of it as the YouTube of the 1980s. I always wanted to do this, and quickly signed up for classes.

It was a "work as you go" effort--if you ran a camera for someone's show, you got credits to use when when renting equipment, etc. I was a cameraman for a psychic show called "Paragon Promise" for quite a while. I got to know the group taking the same classes, and wound up in a comedy show produced by a man we'll call "Brian". It was kind of a cheap version of "In Living Color"--the show was called "Jive TIme". We did a show in 1987 (keep in mind we all had actual jobs, so it took a long set of weekends to shoot and produce it), and then got together in 1988 for a show called "Inducing Panic", for reasons that will shortly become clear.  In the first show, one of the cast did a fake aerobics show called "Arab-aerobics with Habba Habba"--he wore a sheik outfit and channeled "Johnny La Rue" from SCTV. When we did the second show, we had the idea to bring the character back, inserting him into fake promos for upcoming shows. I even did my best "Guy Caballero" (again, SCTV) to introduce the concept. I've included video from the show--I hope "Brian" is OK with that.

One of the fake promos didn't go as planned, and never made it air.  Why? Find out next time...