Star Trek: Nemesis / by Mark

It's time for the last TNG movie--

  • First, I do want to note this is the only Trek movie we haven't already seen.  Mindy and I looked at the previews and reviews, based on how bad Insurrection was, and made the call to skip it.
  • The movie starts with a wedding--Riker and Troi's. They are both about to move onto a new ship, but this is quickly forgotten in the plot.
  • It's always surprising to me how long people stand around  in movies when they clearly are watching a bomb about to go off--in this case, the Romulan Senate.
  • Captain (now Admiral) Janeway makes an appearance in the movie, which came out after Voyager was over.
  • There was a four year break between this and the previous movie, almost as long as the break afterward, after which the Abrams reboot premiered.
  • Spiner got a writing credit for this movie, which explains why Data has such a large role--both as Data and "B-4".
  • When the other android is found, Picard decides to put him back together--oh, that's a great idea!  No one even mentioned "Lore" during all this. He is quickly forgotten, and as always, that's a big mistake.
  • We do get SPACE dune-buggies though. Do they make any sense? Of course not. How does Picard drive one off a cliff and into a shuttle to escape bad guys, who also illogically also have space buggies? No idea.
  • We finally meet the other half of the Romulan Empire--the Remans--never mentioned before in Trek. Gee, I wonder if they're bad guys? Maybe the fact that they look like Skeletor is a clue.
  • So Picard has a clone named Shinzon, and he's also the Romulan Praetor? Ohh-kay. He;s played by Tom Hardy, who also Bane in The Dark Knight Rises. He doesn't really look like Stewart at all--just bald.
  • Wow, this movie is talky! Picard and Shinzon talk history and philosophy for several minutes.
  • So, we get a rape scene--it least a mental rape--with Troi as the victim. Was that really necessary? Well, it apparently allows her to find a cloaked ship Ouija board-style later.
  • Picard drives a Reman shuttle through ship hallways in order to escape--really?!?
  • There's a reference to a "USS Archer"--clearly meant to tie this into the Enterprise series. You know, the one with Captain Archer who helped to create the Federation, and who was never mentioned until that series began?
  • And now it's the pointless personal duel between Riker and the Reman--"you mind-raped my wife!"
  • After a ship battle, another Enterprise is ruined. At least Picard didn't get to use the "auto-destruct" gambit.
  • How does Geordi know exactly how "the weapon" on the Reman ship works?
  • It's a space-bird! It's a space-plane!  No--it's SUPER DATA!! Unfortunately, he has to sacrifice himself to save the others. Fortunately, there's a spare…
  • So was our decision to skip this movie when it first came out correct? Absolutely.

Well, that's it for Trek movies for a while--back to DS9 next time. If you can stomach it, Star Trek: Nemesis is available on Hulu Amazon, and Netflix.