The Inducing Panic Affair: Act Five - Epilogue

Previously on the "Inducing Panic Affair"--we're on the local news!

Let's do a "where are they now" wrap-up.

• "Brian" went on to work in some capacity at SNL--I knew he would make it big!  I have not heard back from him since then.
• Officer Fife was later reprimanded for incorrectly discharging his firearm and injuring himself.
• Judge Deborah Pryce went on to be US Congresswoman Pryce--the only politician I would always vote for, no matter her politics.
• Two of the cast members, W.D. and Marty, and I met in 1989 after "Inducing" Panic finally aired (it took months to edit) and discussed plans for another show ("Brian" had moved on by this point). We wanted to do it in the studio, and make it a series we could easily produce. The discussion somehow got into the Flintstones, and someone said "there's your show!". We started Vast Wasteland by 1990, and the show ran for ten years. We shot the show in the studio, did little or no editing, and handed in the tape the same night.  We finally pulled the plug after getting tired of new rules from the public access station--they were cracking down after some problematic shows.  Speaking of...
• The public access station asked "Brian" and I to speak at a national conference (on our own dime) about our experiences. We impolitely declined. They later gave us the "Inducing Panic" award at the annual awards show. The station, and most of public access TV, was displaced by the internet in 2000.

..and that's all she (or I) wrote. A quick freeze shot, and then the closing credits...

The Inducing Panic Affair: Act Four - And in Local News…

Previously on the "Inducing Panic Affair" - our heroes are vindicated in court.

I assumed the whole saga was over, and went back to my normal life. A few months later, I got a call at the office from the local NBC station (WCMH-4), asking me about the whole thing.  For some reason, they were suddenly interested in a dead story. They wanted to get my footage, and I explained that I had not gotten around to picking up my camcorder at the courthouse (I guess I wanted the dust to settle first). The reporter (Bob Singleton--since retired) asked me when I could get it, and I replied that I was taking the bus to work, so it would be a while before I could arrange it. He replied "no problem--we'll meet you at your office when you get off work". I came out the front door and the Channel 4 News Van whisked me away.

We met with the judge in the case, Deborah Pryce, who was later our US Congresswoman. She and Singleton chatted for a moment, we left with the   camcorder, and they dropped me off at my apartment, promising to return with the camera after they dubbed it off. Singleton called back a bit later--could they also interview me when they came out?  Sure, why not?  Keep in mind that "Brian" was our producer, and really should have been involved--but he was back in college and out of town by that point. I picked out my Late Night with David Letterman sweatshirt (I figured it wouldn't hurt, with them being NBC and all). Singleton shot some footage with me in my apartment, handed me the camcorder, and thanked me again.

I set up the VCR to tape what I assumed would be a "and finally in the news" wacky story at the end of the news broadcast. This was during the 1988 Summer Olympics, so the news ended up being shown very late and very condensed--so my story was dumped, right? Wrong.

The news (anchored by Angela Pace, now working in PR for another station) started with a national story about a guy who was shot in a cathedral in New York. The second story--THE FIRST LOCAL STORY--was the "Inducing Panic" saga. It started with live video with Singleton from the scene of the crime--the unfinished freeway in the middle of the night. Not sure why that made sense. He gave an intro, then onto my footage, followed by a few quotes from me in my apartment. He wrapped it up with a pithy quote, followed by Pace announcing that our show would be called "Inducing Panic". Free advertising!

Next--we wrap up the story in a neat little bow.

The Inducing Panic Affair: Act Three - Law and Disorder

Previously on the "Inducing Panic Affair"--my video crew and I were arrested for "Inducing Panic", and awaiting our court date.

The local paper wrote up the event, and made it sound a bit more serious than it actually was--I got some ribbing at the office about it. I contacted the management of the public access TV station, and asked about our next steps. They informed me that, since I wasn't using their equipment, they disavowed any knowledge of the event. So much for their "video for the people--take down THE MAN" philosophy. In a huge stroke of luck, our producer "Brian" was working as an intern at one of the largest law firms in the city. We met with one of their attorneys at a local restaurant--he was ready to take on the city, and more importantly, was going to do it "pro bono" (for free). We went over the details, and he told us he would handle the whole thing--we didn't need to appear in court. We thanked him profusely and crossed our fingers.

Since I wasn't in court, the next events were described by our attorney:

By this point, the issue was getting some negative attention from the city, and it became clear they wanted the whole thing to go away--they also didn't want us to sue the city for wrongful arrest, since we had a hot shot lawyer on our side. So, the attorneys and the judge set to find ways to throw out the charges. The first step was to view the only evidence--the footage from my camcorder. Officer Fife had confiscated it, but they needed to find a way to see the video. Apparently, courtrooms at the time had little or no methods to show video, so they ended up going to the jury holding room and spent some time figuring out the connections. The prospective jurors got a good laugh from that.

The first charge to be thrown out was mine--why?  Because I wasn't on the video (because I was shooting the video). They managed to find ways to whittle down the other charges until they were down to "pedestrian on the highway" (a minor misdemeanor) for the two "Habba Vice" cops--it was on the footage, so they couldn't ignore it.

Our attorney met with us again, and gave us two options--a) fight the remaining charges which totaled $15 in fines, and consider suing the city for wrongful arrest (which he was clearly ready to do), or b) pay the $15 and sign a statement that we would not sue the city. We were basically kids at the time, and wanted this to go away, so we chose B.

So our story comes to a close?  Not quite yet. Next time, we peer through the looking glass…

The Inducing Panic Affair: Act Two - The Crime

Previously, on "The Inducing Panic Affair"--I was involved in a public access cable show, and shooting fake TV promos for Arab stereotype "Habba Habba"…

One idea for a promo was "Habba Vice"--a takeoff on Miami Vice. The concept was the very end of a car chase, with two cars stopping, Habba and his partner getting out of the car, pulling out obviously fake guns (I believe they were purple and orange), and yelling "Freeze--Habba Vice!" (Thursdays at 9). So where do we shoot this footage? Today, I-670 in Columbus can take you from the airport to downtown and the west side. In 1988, it was unfinished and financially uncertain--the west end stopped in a large pile of gravel. Looked like a good site for the promo!

We set up in the closed section near the gravel pile (of course, we didn't get a permit to do so). I was running the camera--actually my old camcorder I got as a graduation present. First take, our fake cops couldn't extricate themselves from the seat belts in time, so we set up again. In the second take, I half-heard a roar behind me, but I was too focused on getting the shot. Why weren't the guys getting out of the car?  Then I hear someone say "Whoa" behind me. At that point, I did something I still regret--I hit the pause button.

I turn around to see a Columbus policeman who we will call Officer Fife, pointing a gun at me. He ordered everyone from the cars and to get on the ground. For a moment, I hesitated, since I was holding onto my personal camcorder, and didn't want to get it scratched. But fear of guns turned out to be the better part of valor. We tried to explain that we were just shooting a video, but he wasn't listening--I think he was convinced we were taping a terrorist video, long before 9/11. He called in for backup (at one point, there were six police cars there) and moved us into the back of two of the police cars. He then commenced to argue with other cops over the whole thing (it became apparent Officer Fife was a bit jumpy and tended to overreact). Most of the cops proceeded to leave. I found out that cops carry a huge book of state laws in their trunk--I assume this is on their phones now. He sifted through it, trying to find something to actually charge us with. He finally found "Inducing Panic"--this is the one where you yell "FIRE!" in a crowded theater. It seemed that the only panic we were inducing was in Officer Fife, as he, the other cops, and us were the only people around. In any case, after a stern talking to, he wrote us up for a court date, and sent us home.

Will our heroes be thrown in the hoosegow? Stay tuned.

The Inducing Panic Affair: Act One - The Beginning

I was recently telling a supposedly interesting story from my past to a friend, and realized I have never committed it to writing. So, here we go. As on any crime drama, "the names have been changed to protect the innocent".

When I moved to Columbus, OH in 1987 to start my career, I wasted no time getting cable TV hooked up. I found a channel with low rent programs--it was "public access" TV. The cable industry, in order to ingratiate themselves and get their monopolistic contracts, offered markets their own channel to show local programs. In most TV markets, this consists of a channel showing the local weather and announcements--they would show your program if you brought them a tape, in the right format. In a few markets, however, there was an actual TV "station" where you could make shows, and Columbus was one of them. Think of it as the YouTube of the 1980s. I always wanted to do this, and quickly signed up for classes.

It was a "work as you go" effort--if you ran a camera for someone's show, you got credits to use when when renting equipment, etc. I was a cameraman for a psychic show called "Paragon Promise" for quite a while. I got to know the group taking the same classes, and wound up in a comedy show produced by a man we'll call "Brian". It was kind of a cheap version of "In Living Color"--the show was called "Jive TIme". We did a show in 1987 (keep in mind we all had actual jobs, so it took a long set of weekends to shoot and produce it), and then got together in 1988 for a show called "Inducing Panic", for reasons that will shortly become clear.  In the first show, one of the cast did a fake aerobics show called "Arab-aerobics with Habba Habba"--he wore a sheik outfit and channeled "Johnny La Rue" from SCTV. When we did the second show, we had the idea to bring the character back, inserting him into fake promos for upcoming shows. I even did my best "Guy Caballero" (again, SCTV) to introduce the concept. I've included video from the show--I hope "Brian" is OK with that.

One of the fake promos didn't go as planned, and never made it air.  Why? Find out next time...

Star Trek DS9: More of Season Three

Guest stars and time jumps in this log entry--

• Will Riker (Jonathan Frakes) drops by the station in "Defiant"--or is he? Nope--it's his transported-created clone Thomas Riker, now working for the Maquis. He plays William to get Kira to give him access to the Defiant, swipes it, and starts attacking the Cardassian empire. Why didn't the security systems recognize the difference? Sure, William and Thomas have the same DNA, but when Thomas went AWOL, wouldn't the systems be updated with this info, track William, and see if another William showed up? Thomas doesn't have the full beard--just a goatee (making him the evil Riker, per TV rules). There's also a silly subplot about Gul Dukat worrying about his son's birthday. In the end, Thomas surrenders to save others.
• Love is in the air--unfortunately, it's a disease--in "Fascination". The episode is set against a Bajoran "Gratitude Festival"--seems like a lot of new-age nonsense. The aforementioned disease brings suppressed desires to the surface--Jake's got a crush on Kira, while her main squeeze Bereil wants to be with Dax, and she in turn wants to be with Sisko. Also, Miles and Keiko are feuding (she's back from a Bajoran mission). It's all due to the presence of Lwaxana Troi--so it's a problem for Odo as well. When did this show become a soap opera? I also noticed that the crew each have one set of "off duty" clothes--you see them over and over. Why wouldn't they just replicate different clothes each time? Finally, just how far is DS9 from Bajor--why can't Miles just shoot over there to see his wife?
• It's yet another two-parter: "Past Tense". Dax, Sisko, and Bashir have a bad transporter trip--and end up on Earth in 2024. While Kira and O'Brien spout technobabble, Sisko provides exposition about this era, where the homeless are pushed into gulags, and the rich enjoy the good life (of course). Actually, based on current trends, I wouldn't be surprised if this is what the real 2024 will look like. Dax has a better time of it--a rich plutocrat takes a liking to her, and she seems to easily lie about herself. Sisko also knows that a major riot is about to happen. We hear about a "Starfleet Temporal Displacement" policy--rather like the Prime Directive for non-interference, but for the time stream. When the leader of the upcoming riot is killed defending Sisko (played by Brook's stunt double), our hero has to step into that role in order to allow Starfleet and the Federation to exist in the future. (The Defiant, with Kira, O'Brien, and Odo inside, is protected from the nonexistence of the Federation due to a technobabble bubble.) Dax and O'Brien beam back to 1930 (to the same point Kirk and Spock went in "City on the Edge of Forever", per the Memory Alpha site), 1960 (where they meet some hippies), and 2048 before they figure out the right time to rescue  their comrades. This is a "big message" story.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Bob: I'm Getting Re-Married in the Morning

This episode features Cynthia Stevenson as Bob's daughter Tricia. She has a plan to throw her parents a surprise second wedding for their 25th anniversary--but realizes it's time and isn't ready. She really goes berserk in the episode--it's hilarious. At one point, they are in a convenience store when a stick-up happens--she grabs the gun and throws it out the door, then yells at them to get back in the car. Stevenson went on to her own series, "Hope and Glory", and has been working on various shows since. There's also a number of references on how to best reach the Wisconsin Dells (The Kennedy Expressway or the Old Milwaukee Road)--an argument I've heard from my wife and in-laws. There's a scene where hungry wedding guests begin cutting off pieces of wedding cake from the bottom, leaving each of them with a disk of cake in their hands. 

The Complete Series DVD is available on Amazon.

Star Trek DS9: Season Three Continues

We get a number of genre TV tropes in this batch of episodes...

• Is Kira a deep cover operative?  In "Second Skin", our Bajoran liaison/renegade learns that she had been leaving a double life--with the other as a Cardassian spy. They gave her false memories to perform her role in the Bajoran underground, and have now brought her back to the fold and "restored" her Cardassian features. There's even a doting father (Lawrence Pressman), trying to convince her. They show her the corpse of the real Kira--kept on ice?  Seems like a real waste of resources, just in case you would need it. Meanwhile, our heroes and Garak go on a mission to save her--they keep doing the stealth thing in the Defiant, making their way across Cardassian space. It turns out the Obsidian Order was after the father--he was the suspect. This "double life" story has been used several times on the various Trek series.
• Quark buys some ship wreckage--and winds up with a Jem'Hadar orphaned baby--in the appropriately named "The Abandoned". The baby is growing at an accelerated rate--needed to move the story along and a staple of genre television. Meanwhile, Kira is uncharacteristically perky and upbeat at one point when trying to get into Odo's quarters. Speaking of the shapeshifter, he the only one able to stop the now-teenage Jem'Hadar, who appears to know he is a Founder. Odo is assigned to care for the child--the episode turns into a lesson on racial tolerance. There's also a B-story about Jake and a Dabo girl--with Sisko trying to break it up.
• O'Brien trips an old security program in "Civil Defense". It decides the station's crew are renegade Bajorans, and locks down an ore processor, trapping O'Brien, Sisko, and Jake. It also starts locking down other systems on the station. Gul Dukat's pre-recorded messages keep playing, telling the rebels to surrender. When they manage to escape, the whole station shuts down in retaliation. Ooo and Quark are stuck in the security room and Bashir, Kira, and Dax and stuck in Ops. It's the ultimate "bottle" show. The "trapped cast" storyline is a constant of genre TV.  The real Dukat finally shows up to save the day--and ends up getting trapped on the station as well. Sisko and Co. manage to stop the station from self-destruction.
• It's Brigadoon in SPAACE in "Meridian". The Defiant is exploring the Gamma Quadrant--and a planet suddenly pops into existence. It shifts between dimensions. The planet and inhabitants become energy when they go to the other dimension, but come back into existence when they return. Of course, Dax falls in love with one of the inhabitants--I would think she is too logical to do that. They figure out how to stabilize the planet--but not before it shifts again and won't return for 60 years. The B-story is about a alien (Jeffrey Combs) smitten with Kira--he pays Quark to make a holosuite starring our Bajoran. The problem--he doesn't have a scan of Kira, and stoops to his normal underhanded ways to get it. Combs will return in other roles on DS9, Voyager, and Enterprise.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Bob: The Man Who Killed Mad Dog

From Newhart's early 90's TV series "Bob" (see my previous entries). I had expected to do more entries on this, but I wan't as impressed with the series as I remembered it. 

This episode references the infamous Senate hearings on the comic book industry, which came out of a hysteria generated by psychologist/flim-flam man Dr. Fredric Wertham and his book "Seduction of the Innocent". Comic books were almost made illegal (Wertham was convinced they were destroying America's youth). They were only saved when the comic industry implemented "The Comics Code Authority"--you can hear more about it in Episode 140 of the How I got My Wife to Read Comics podcast. Bob was traumatized by his run in with his version of the Senate hearings--he shows films of the event, with Bob in glasses, a wig and goatee. He has a chance run-in with his accuser who's now an old man yet manages to bamboozle Bob again.

The Complete Series DVD is available on Amazon.

Star Trek DS9: Onto Season Three

The third season begins…

• …with the two-parter "The Search". In a misguided attempt to improve the show, Sisko returns to the station with an experimental ship, the Defiant. It was built to fight the Borg but then mothballed. The Feds managed to get the Romulans to loan them a clocking device--and an officer to go along with it. Now the cast can run more conventional Trek ship missions--they start with a search for the "Founders" in the Gamma Quadrant, and hopefully defuse the whole Jem'Hadar issue. Sisko bullies Quark into joining them, but then he almost immediately decides to return--the whole script seems like it was written by a committee. Odo makes quite a fuss when a new security officer arrives, but I don't see why--if I was Starfleet, I would be nervous about Odo too. He starts to obsess about a nebula--as if he had a homing instinct. During a battle, he grabs Kira and a shuttecraft. They find a rogue planet with a lake of goo--it's others of Odo's race, and they greet him warmly.
• Part Two begins with Sisko and Bashir on another shuttle--they abandoned the Defiant. Dax and O'Brien manage to find them, and learns that the Dominion and the Federation are writing up a peace treaty back on the station. Meanwhile, Odo is trying to understand his new race, and is getting frustrated. He then gets some "Changeling" history from one of the others, and we get some "Changeling After Dark" action. Back on the station, the Federation is making plans for an alliance with the Dominion, the Jem'Hadar are running roughshod over the station, and the Dominion are taking over the Bajoran sector--and the wormhole. Sisko and the crew are being reassigned--so they go rogue and destroy the wormhole. Odo and Kira finds the crew all safe and sound--the whole thing was just a simulation. It turns out the Changelings are the Dominion! Odo rejects them and joins our heroes back at the station.
• Quark's wackiness meets Klingon mumbo-jumbo in "The House of Quark". The Ferengi accidentally kills a Klingon at the bar, and ends up in an arranged marriage. Googly-eyed Klingon leader Gowron (Robert O'Reilly) guest stars, as does Mary Kay Place as the scheming widow. Meanwhile, Keiko loses the teacher gig (families are moving off the station due to the Dominion), and Miles wants to cheer her up. The solution is a botanist job on Bajor, which also provides an excuse for Rosalind Chao appearing so rarely on the show (only 19 episodes all together).  Seems like they needed a cheap episode to counter the costs of the two-parter.
• Dax's history catches up to her in "Equilibrium". Dax's normally serene character gets a chance to be hostile and confrontative in this episode. She also has some hallucinations that reminded Mindy of a Doctor Who episode involving masks. The whole thing turns into a medical drama--will Jadzia lose her symbiont? We do get to see the Trill home world and hear more of her back story. Trills (the symbioses, not the hosts) apparently breed in weird underground pools. The whole thing turns out to be a Trill conspiracy involving a murder and a botched joining. The fix is to send Jadzia into the weird pool to "absorb" a lost host.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Classic Commercials - Samantha sells soap

Here's another 60's TV star selling on their program--in this case, it's Elizabeth Montgomery. Sam!! 

Enjoy!

Star Trek DS9: Closing Out Season Two

Let's wrap up the second season of Deep Space Nine--

• It's a trip to a parallel universe for Kira and Bashir in "Crossover". They dropped into the "Mirror, Mirror" universe from TOS--you know, where Spock had the goatee. Mirror Kira is in charge of the Terek Nor station, where the "Terrans" are slaves. Nana Visitor wears a black catsuit and overacts at a Shatnerian level. Speaking of him, our Kira learns how James T. Kirk got Spock to preach reforms--and got the Empire overthrown by the Bajoran/Klingon/Cardassian alliance for his efforts. It's strange how everyone in the Mirror universe knows about the Kirk incident--seems like they would have kept it a secret. Garak is Kira's lieutenant, Sisko is a collaborator, Quark is still a bartender (but got caught for helping the Terrans), O'Brien is a simple maintenance man, and Odo is a slave overseer. Mirror Sisko helps them back to the normal universe. We'll see this universe again several times in the series.
• Kira gets another big role when her boyfriend Vedek Bareil (Philip Anglim) needs her help in "The Collaborator". He's about to be named Kai, but he's accused of being--well, a collaborator with the Cardassians. There's a lot of Bajoran mumbo-jumbo, dream sequences, and political machinations. Louise Fletcher as Vedek Wynn is like a viper--always scheming. Bereil is no saint either--he sacrificed a group of Bajorans to save many more (the needs of the many…)--or did he? Turns out he was covering up for the recently deceased Kai Opaka. He steps down, and Wynn is the winner.
• Miles' wartime past catches up to him in "Tribunal". While on vacation (who needs a vacation in the 24th century?), Miles gets nabbed by the Cardassians and is tortured--all because an old buddy (John Beck) uses him as a patsy to help the Maquis. Rosalind Chao gets the biggest role she's had for quite a while. We learn a lot about Cardassian justice--trials are pre-determined, in order to be "efficient". Odo steps in to save him--he still has clearance from the Cardassian occupation. It turns out that his "buddy" was a Cardassian spy, and they use that to spring Miles.
• Finally, it's the season finale--"The Jem'Hadar". They are the soldier class of the mysterious Dominion, and they nab Sisko and Quark while on a (misadvised) trip with Jake and Nog to the Gamma Quadrant. Like all multipart episodes, there's a lot of fluff. Quark worming his way onto the trip. The arguments around the campfire. A mysterious telepath. The annoying Nog character in general. There's also a recurring character--Morn--a silent alien barfly at Quark's--with a recurring joke that he will eventually speak. I assume the name of the character is a take on Cheer's Norm. Back at the station--the Jem'Hadar arrives, telling them Sisko is being held for questioning, and to stay on their side of the wormhole--they wiped out a Bajoran settlement there just to make the point. Replacement Captain Keogh (TV veteran Alan Oppenheimer) arrives to take command. There's a space battle, Sisko's rescue, and the destruction of a Galaxy-class ship. TIme to get ready for the big battle--dunn-dunn-dunn…

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Star Trek DS9: Season Two in the Homestretch

Ka'Plah!

• It's Klingon old home week in "Blood Oath". Three Klingons from the original series--Kor (John Colicos), Kang (Michael Ansara), and Koloth (William Campbell) meet at the station to plan for a final mission. Dax accompanies them, since she knew them in one of her former lives. The big question--how did these three change from the swarthy aliens of TOS to the bumpy-heads of TNG and the movies?
• We get another two-parter in "The Maquis". There's political intrigue, sneaky aliens, long boring dialogue, and an uneasy alliance between Sisko and Gul Dukat. He gets kidnapped, so Sisko takes Kira and Bashir to save him--it doesn't go well. The finale is a showdown in space. This is the first appearance of the Maquis terrorists, as well as the "Badlands" which will later be the site of the Voyager premiere. Bernie Casey guest stars as an old Starfleet buddy of Sisko's, and Bertila Damas as a mysterious Vulcan woman.
• Tailor/spy Garak is under the weather--or is it an addiction?--in "The Wire" (not the one in Baltimore). It's "Lost Weekend"--in SPAACE! Garak trashes the infirmary--why didn't Bashir have him under restraints, like anyone going through withdrawal? Bashir and Garak finally have it out, and we learn more about Garak's backstory. Paul Dooley guest stars as a Cardassian intelligence officer. In a subplot, Dax needs some help with a sick plant, and we get a McCoy callback from Bashir--"I'm a doctor, not a botanist". 

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Classic Commercials: Shamrock Shake

With St. Patrick's Day imminent, you only have a few days left to pick up this "delicacy".

Enjoy!

Star Trek DS9: Past the Halfway Point on Season Two

Making progress...

• O'Brien (who's getting a LOT of screen time lately) and Sisko find that "Paradise" isn't what it's all cracked up to be. The episode is similar to TOS's "This Side of Paradise"--except this time it's megalomania rather than weird plant spores.There's also a prison/slavery motif. 
• Dax and Odo team up to investigate missing persons at a remote colony in "Shadowplay". The missing villagers turn out to be variables in a really big holodeck. There's not much to the storyline, so they add subplots with O'Brien teaching Jake life lessons, Kira and Bareil bickering and canoodling, and Bashir keeping an eye on Quark. The little girl in the episode (Noley Thornton) also played a guest role on TNG (in "Imaginary Friend").
• Dax tutors a Trill trainee in "Playing God". There's an appearance by a "Cardassian Vole" (what looks like an ugly puppet)--they are infesting the station. How do they get up there in the first place? While we do learn some more about Dax's backstory, she is saddled with a goofy story about "subspace seaweed". The trainee is played by Geoffrey Blake, who's spent the last 20 years in minor and guest roles.
• Quark gambles on love in "Profit and Loss". I think the producers finally realized they were making Quark the comedy relief on the show, so this episode gives him a bit more texture.  Mary Crosby aka the answer to "Who Killed J.R.?" plays the love interest under badly done Cardassian make-up. The episode ends up as a Casablanca knockoff--"look, you're getting on that cloaked ship..."

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Star Trek DS9: Even More of Season Two

Continuing on...

• There's a con artist on the station (Chris Sarandon), and when he meets Quark, they become "Rivals". There's also a goofy "future sport" sequence with O'Brien and Bashir. Really, nothing major happens in this episode--just a "day in the life" of the station and a bizarre device that is never explained.
• Odo finds out more about his origin in "The Alternate". We don't find out how Odo can shapeshift into objects and animals perfectly, but can't figure out human ears. James Sloyan--you've heard his voice on Lexus commercials--guests as the scientist who worked on Odo originally, and he wants Odo back. This episode is filled with technobabble, and we get some 90's-style CGI to show Odo's transformations.
• Bashir and O'Brien star in "Armageddon Game"--message coming in! They're helping an alien race get rid of biological weapons, and terrorists show up to wreck the party. I noticed that people on the station spend a lot of time ordering and eating food in the Promenade--don't they have work to do? Keiko gets a great scene when she thinks Miles is dead, and the boys bond while they are hiding out.
• O'Brien gets a second chance to shine in "Whispers". Is everyone on the station against him, or is he dangerously paranoid? Of course not--"O'Brien" is a replicant, assigned to stop peace negotiations. The real O'Brien is fine. We get a lot of narration from "Miles" throughout. At one point, O'Brien asks the station's computer if there are any telepathic communications--how would the computer know?

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Classic Commercials: Cookie O'Puss

If you got WOR on your cable system in the 80's, you'll remember this one..."at your pawticipating Cawvel ice cream dealah".

Enjoy!

Star Trek DS9: More of Season Two

After a long delay, finally getting back to Deep Space Nine. I'm going to try to stay away from describing the plot and just write snarky comments...

• More Ferengi wackiness in "Rules of Acquisition". Quark can be an interesting character on his own, but get a group of Ferengis together and--blechh! There's also a whole Yentl thing going on--a female Ferengi poses as a male (their society is completely controlled by the males). Finally, we get the first mention of "The Dominion", who will become a major player on the show.
• It's DS9 noir in "Necessary Evil". Odo's the private eye, Quark is the flunky--there's even a macguffin (a list of names associated with a five-year old murder) and a femme fatale (a glamourous Bajoran "widow", played by Katherine Moffat). We also learn how Odo became a "constable" and when he first met Kira and Quark--all via Odo's Raymond Chandler-esque narration.
• After cameo roles for a while, our supposed star--Sisko--gets an episode in "Second Sight". On the fourth anniversary of his wife's death, he finds a new love (Eureka's Salli Richardson-Whitfield). Or--is she--a GHOOOST?? Nope--just a garden variety "psycho-projective telepath" (technobabble at it's finest). Needless to say, the romance doesn't end well.
• Refugees arrive from the Gamma Quadrant and demand "Sanctuary"--and I have some questions. Question 1: when the refugees' ship is in peril, and they are beamed onto DS9--why beam them directly to the bridge?  Seems like a terrible security posture. Question 2: initially, the universal translator has problems with the new language of the refugees. How exactly does the translator work when there's no equipment involved?  Does it somehow alter the sounds waves in the air? Question 3: Doesn't veteran TV actor William Schallert have something better to do?

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Alaska Day 12: The Journey Home

Mindy awoke around 9a, then woke me up--we were out for 12 hours, which is unheard of for us. I guess we needed the rest. Some hurried ablutions, then out to the car. Stopped at Pick 'n' Save to get tissues and Pibb Zero (my favorite diet soda, and not available where we live). The supermarket had gastronomic quotes on the walls--one of the few times I felt the need to take photos at a supermarket. Grabbed a breakfast sandwich at Panera's--like a high-end Mickey D's.

On the way, we stopped at the Iron Skillet Truck Stop at Racine for gas--and kringles, a Danish delicacy and a childhood memory of Mindy's.  Like most car trips, the rest of the day was uneventful.

I really enjoyed this trip, despite the (minor) disappointment with the aurora. I did a number of things I probably would never have done otherwise, got to spend some quality time away from work and with my wife, while also getting away from technology. 

Back to normal blog entries next time.

Beard Day 12. I'm thinking I'll keep it.

Alaska Day 11: Four Characters in Search of an Airline Gate

It was a long flight day, starting at 1:40AM in Fairbanks. Alaska Airlines decided they weren't getting enough of our money, so they charged us $25 per bag, despite the fact that they didn't charge us on the way into Alaska. Their "partner" American Airlines explained that the carrier for the first leg of a flight decides where to charge or not. I guess they are partners with benefits.

Our journey took us from Fairbanks to Seattle to Dallas to Milwaukee over a 12 hour period. Fairbanks is a TINY airport with a total of 6 gates, at least one of which is used by the oil companies to ferry their employees. Dallas is just way too big--had to take a monorail from one gate to another, and of course this was our shortest layover. The incoming flight spent about 20 minutes driving around the place after landing, which didn't help. I was too incoherent by the time we reached Milwaukee for me to remember much of anything. 

Mindy's sister Amy picked us up while I went to pick up our car from the hotel--there was a comedy of errors as we attempted to do this efficiently, as often happens. We went out for pizza after we found the Mexican place was closed on Sunday, then we crashed at the hotel.

Beard Day 11: Looking particularly hobo-like in the middle of our flights.