Star Trek DS9: Wrapping Up Season Four

Four down, three to go…

• Kasidy Yates (Sisko's squeeze) is smuggling "For the Cause"--that being The Maquis. We get several discussions on terrorism and some scenes in "the Badlands" (as referenced on Voyager, which was also on the air by that time). Sisko is torn between his duty and his girlfriend. In the end, Sisko follows her to the Badlands to catch her. Meanwhile, Federation security officer Eddington takes over the staton and swipes some replicators--he's a Maquis! It was all a scam to catch Sisko flat-footed, and it worked. Sisko also has the unhappy duty to send Kasidy to prison. Meanwhile, Garak starts to woo Gul Dukat's daughter--remember her? Kira's not happy about it. Finally, we get another goofy "future sport" involving handball and force fields.
• The Dominion and the Federation teaming up? Rogue Jem'Hadar attack the station, which means there's a fight "To the Death". Dominion member Weyoun (Jeffrey Combs) is introduced in this episode--we'll be seeing a lot of him. He quite the politician and wheeler-dealer. Turns out the rogue bad guys found an Ikonian gateway (a super-transported introduced in TNG), so they have to be stopped. There's a scene that looks a lot like Star Wars "Death Star exhaust port" sequence. The combined team wins the day, but the Jem'Hadar will be back…
• It's Bashir to the rescue in "The Quickening". Dax joins him on an alien world where a pandemic has been going on for 200 years, caused by the Dominion. Their civilization has regressed--a "hospital" is the place where you go to die peacefully, with a "doctor" to make death painless. They have lost hope and worship death--Bashir manages to turn the tide of hope. Unfortunately, the "EM field" from their tech just hastens the disease, and the local "doctor" steps in to "take care" of them. Regardless, Bashir decides to stay and fight the virus without tech. In the end, he's able to stop the virus in the next generation--just inoculate the pregnant women. It's cold comfort to Bashir.
• Quark's gonna die?? No suck luck in "Body Parts". He's incorrectly diagnosed, so he thinks he has an incurable disease. It's time to sell off his remains in advance of his death--it becomes complicated very quickly, and ends up like "It's a Wonderful Life". I know the Ferengis were brought on as a commentary on our current rampant commercialism, but they became comedy relief very quickly. Meanwhile, a shuttle mission goes wrong, leaving Keiko's baby in jeopardy. Bashir is forced to transfer the baby to Kira! I guess they can do that with Starfleet tech. It also allowed the show to handle Nana Visitor's actual pregnancy (with Alexander Siddig). Keiko and Miles have a big problem with this, which is surprising--we use surrogate mothers today. Why would this be an issue in the 24th century--considering the alternative was for their baby to die?
• An Odo episode finishes up the season--"Broken Link". He's got a virus causing him to lose his shape, forcing him to return to the Founders world in order to save his life. He has to be moved to the Defiant for the trip, and he insists on walking under his own power. Bashir didn't want to use a transporter, but they didn't have a cart or wheelchair handy? There's also the Klingons to worry about--they are ready to go to war. It turns out the Founders infected Odo with the virus so he would return home--and be judged for his crime (he killed another Changeling in an earlier episode). Due to his sense of justice, he agrees and returns to the "Great Link". The judgment? They make him a "solid" humanoid--albeit with the same make-up as before. Odo will have a lot of adjusting to do. Meanwhile, the Klingons decide to declare war--and Odo realizes that Klingon Chancellor Gowron (aka Barney Google) is a Changeling! Tune in next season… 

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Star Trek DS9: Season Four Rolls On

Back to our favorite dysfunctional sci-fi family…

• Worf screws up the ""Rules of Engagement", and ends up in a Klingon trial for murder. It's "DS9 Law". We get testimony via flashbacks--with characters directly talking to the camera when replying to the attorney (shades of House of Cards), which is very unnerving. Sisko is, of course, the defense attorney, and a Klingon plays prosecutor. Avery Brooks over-enunciates at a Shatnerian level. At one point, Worf's son Alexander is mentioned--oh, yeah, whatever happened to him? In the end, Odo comes up with evidence that the Klingons were setting Worf up.
• O'Brien does some "Hard TIme"--or does he? Apparently, 20 years have gone by--he looks like the "IT'S" guy from Monty Python--but it's all in his mind. Alien correction technology makes you think time has passed when it hasn't. Colm Meaney really gets a chance to shine in the episode. He tells everyone he was in solitary conferment over the virtual 20 years, but that's not really the case. He had a cellmate--who Miles killed (in his mind, of course). He wants to kill himself to save the rest of the station--but Bashir talks him off the ledge.
• It's back to the "mirror" universe--but now it's a "Shattered Mirror". Mirror-Jennifer Sisko shows up and spirits Jake back to the other universe--all in order to get Sisko help them fix their Defiant. The cast plays their dopplegangers with gusto--and since he joined the cast, Worf gets in on the fun as the "Regent". Mirror-Kira is now a prisoner of the rebels (albeit with perfect makeup)--she does every villain move but twirl a mustache--and shoots shoots Mirror-Jennifer at one point. There's a whole "Han Solo" moment when Mirror-Bashir comes in to save the Miirror-Defiant in battle. In the end, Sisko sees his wife die--again.
• Lwaxana Troi is back--and she's got a Betazed bun in the oven--in "The Muse". No, Odo's not the father! Daddy is from a race where they keep the sexes separate until they are adults--and the child is a boy. She's come to Odo for help. There's a great moment when Odo asks if she would like to take a walk--Worf, stuck in a conversation, says "I would". Odo's solution involves a fake wedding--and he gives a heartfelt speech about her at the ceremony. This is Majel Barrett Roddnberry's final Trek onscreen appearance, although she would continue doing the compute voice of the computer for another decade before her death in 2008. Meanwhile, there's a weird story about an older alien woman and Jake--she seems VERY interested in Jake's writing. At one point, Jake writes on paper--how in the galaxy does he know cursive? People barely know it today. The older woman? She's a soul vampire who sucks the life out of young creative people--yes, really. Sisko saves his son in the nick of time. I think either story could have stood up on their own.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Star Trek DS9: Even More of Season Four

Making progress…

• Gul Dukat is back for his "Return to Grace". He and his half-Bajoran daughter have been banished to escort duty, and now he's escorting Kira to a conference. Before she leaves, there's a wacky scene involving inoculations and nausea. The routine mission becomes an emergency after a Klingon attack. Kira and Dukat become unlikely allies and resistance fighters against the Klingons. There's a lot of banter throughout--why is every male in the quadrant in love with Kira? Improbably, Kira and Dukat--on their own--board and take over a Klingon warship, while beaming the bad guys to the smaller damaged ship. Unfortunately, the Cardassians have decided on a diplomatic solution--so Dukat decides to go rogue with his stolen ship. HIs daughter isn't ready for that kind of life, so she returns to DS9 with Kira.
• Ugh! Get ready for more monologues on honor and duty for the "Sons of Mogh". There's also some flirtation between Worf and Dax--is this sci-fi or soap opera? Worf's brother Kurn then arrives--their family has been kicked off the High Council since Worf sided with the Federation. So, Kurn wants to commit ceremonial suicide (with Worf's help). They are partly successful before Odo and Dax intercede. There's a subplot regarding Klingon cloaked mines, forcing Worg and Mogh on their own secret mission. In the end, it's clear that Kurn will not live with dishonor, so Worf takes the extraordinary step of having Kurn's memories wiped--wow!
• Is it Norma Rae or Rom? Frustrated with Quark's management policies, he decides to form a union in "Bar Association". This seems to be a wafer-thin concept to base an episode on, but with some "day in the life" B-stories, they manage to eke it out. The Bajorans are holding a one month cleanse, Bashir and O'Brien are off on another holodeck adventure, Worf is tired of all the chaos on the station, Rom has an earache… Sisko seems to have become a "bad cop" for the station with little else to do--was Avery Brooks working on other projects at the time? In the end, Rom quits the bar and gets an engineering job, while Worf moves his quarters to the Defiant. The latter reminded me of Greg Brady moving his bedroom to the attic...
• Who's the real Emissary? In "Accession", an ancient Bajoran poet (Richard Libertini) arrives to take over the job. According to Memory Alpha, the producers had to fight the studio to do another Emissary show--viewers had problems with religious-based episodes, apparently. Sisko seems quite happy about getting out of the religious icon position. Unfortunately, Bajor had a strict caste system back int he poet's time, and he wants to return to that culture. Kira's family was in an artist's caste--and she proves she's no artist. In the end, both Emissaries go ask the wormhole what to do. A quick vision later, and Sisko's back in the Emissary business. Also, Keiko (remember her?) returns after a year on Bajor--and she's pregnant. Fortunately, it's quickly established that it is Miles' baby.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Star Trek DS9: More of Season Four

Continuing to trudge through the fourth season…

• Shades of TNG! It's holo-wackiness when the doctor becomes "Our Man Bashir". We do learn that breaking into someone else's holosuite is illegal--since when? Anyway, the whole episode is a Bond parody, all the way down to women's names with sexual innuendo (Mona Luvsitt?) Coupled with the holosuite problems is a transporter accident that puts the senior crew's images into Bashir's fantasy. Nana Visitor does her best Natasha Fatale impression (you know, "moose and squirrel"?), and Sisko makes quite the Bond villain as "Dr. Noah". Overall, it's a goofy episode.
• Things get a bit more serious in a two-parter starting with "Homefront". A Changeling terrorist attack on Earth turns Starfleet paranoid enough to declare martial law (keep in mind this episode aired years prior to 9/11). They also put Sisko in charge of Starfleet security--adding blood screenings and phaser sweeps. Odo helps out despite a natural hesitancy from the Ferderation. A number of subplots were added as "episode helper" in order to make it a two-parter, including one with Sisko's father (Brock Peters, also played a Starfleet admiral in two Trek movies).  The first part ends with the Changelings disrupting Earth's power grid, and martial law going into effect.
• "Paradise Lost" continues the story with Starfleet's "Red Squad" (an elite group of cadets) who fall under Sisko's suspicion. It turns out they were responsible for the power outage, and that Starfleet Command put them up to it. Admiral Leyton (Robert Foxworth) plans to overthrow the government in order to "protect Earth", so Sisko has to find evidence to take them down. Colm Meaney gets a juicy cameo as a Changeling to irritate and scare Sisko. After various machinations on both sides, a lot of speechifying, and a ship battle, the good guys win the day.
• Kira, Odo, and a Bajoran minister are in a triangle--although Kira doesn't know it--in "Crossfire". The whole "Odo's unrequited love" storyline is annoying--either tell her or forget it! Even Quark has Odo figured out--he's in the "friend zone". At one point, Worf and Odo compare notes on how to establish order on the station and in their lives--they are more alike than they thought. Odo's shapeshifting power seems to have improved--he somehow stops a falling elevator by becoming a metal brace. The whole episode has a vibe a la "The Bodyguard".

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Script: Impossible

As I previously mentioned, I'm catching up on old TV shows this summer via MeTV. One of those shows is Mission: Impossible, and I had a question about a specific episode.

• The concept--a shadowy government organization sends orders to agent Jim Phelps (Peter Graves) via a small tape recorder, which "self-destructs in 10 seconds" via a lot of smoke. He's always reminded that, if he or any of his team is captured or killed, the "secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions". The missions usually involve tricking a foreign leader or breaking into a foreign facility.
• Jim then hand picks a team for the mission. Fortunately in terms of the show's budget, he almost always picks the same people--Barney the engineer (Greg Morris), Willy the muscle (Peter Lupus), Rollin the actor (Martin Landau) and Cinnamon the girl (Barbara Bain). After Laudau and Bain left the show (later to co-star on Space:1999), Paris (Leonard Nimoy, fresh from Star Trek) and various guest actresses stepped in.
• The missions involve technical gadgets, putting on a performance, split second timing, and generally stupid foreign leaders. They never mentioned actual countries--it was always generic Eastern Europeans and South Americans.
• The scripts were normally very clever--they wrapped up the plot (and the bad guys) in a neat bow by the end of each episode. That brings me to my question:
  • In the episode "The Numbers Game" (aired in October of 1969), the mission was to trick an exiled dictator into giving up a hidden fortune by making him think a nuclear war was underway.
  • The "Impossible Missions" team breaks into his bunker, gets him down there, convinces him of the war, and that they can get him the medicine he needs to live in exchange for his fortune.
  • At the end of episode, the other bad guys come down in the elevator (the dictator thinks they are dead), so what does the team do? They jam the elevator to trap them, and then--just walk off camera and toward the tunnel they made. The bad guys--one of which still has a gun--just stare at them as they leave.
  • The bad guys are trapped--unless the just follow our heroes off camera. Instead, they just stand they slack-jawed. It's as if the writer got to the last page and said--"screw it".
  • The question--how did such a sloppy ending get made on what was an otherwise intelligent show?

That's just my thoughts--I may have more M:I entries as I work through the rest of the series.

It's a Family Affair

During the summer, I take the time normally spent watching new shows and catch up on old programming--which digital channel MeTV makes it very easy to do.  I've been DVRing Family Affair (weekdays at 7a eastern) and bingeing on groups of episodes as they pile up. My thoughts overall--

• First off, the show can be summed up as TREACLE! I sometimes feel like I need an insulin shot after watching.
• The concept--swinging bachelor/world trotting engineer Bill Davis (Brian Keith) finds himself with 3 kids after his his brother and sister-in-law are killed in an accident. Teenager Cissy (Kathy Garver) and twin kids Buffy (Anissa Jones) and Jody (Johnny Whitaker) live with "Unca Bill" in his NYC penthouse, along with "gentlemen's gentlemen" Mr. French (Sebastian Cabot), who takes care of the kids when Bill is off on an engineering job (which is often).
• Why is Bill gone so often? Because Brian Keith had a contract where he would only film his part two months a year, so he could do other projects. This is similar to the deal made with Fred MacMurray on My Three Sons--also produced by Don Fedderson. The rest of the cast shot their scenes around him.
• The actors playing the kids are terrible at their jobs. The twins have virtually no expressions when they speak, and Cissy is little better--when Kathy Garver smiles, her face looks like a baby. That matches the mental age of all three kids--dense as rocks.
• The saving grace is Sebastian Cabot as French. How Bill found and hired him is only hinted at (at least so far in my viewing), but thank goodness he did. HIs storylines are far more interesting than the others, and he runs rings around the others in terms of acting. The show really suffers when he leaves from time to time for either health reasons or other work. It's a shame this show basically pigeonholed him for the rest of the his life.
• When French does leave in the first season, his brother (also called Mr. French, and played by John Williams) drops in. It's a lazy plot device and a way to avoid altering scripts.
• Bill has a long line of beautiful dates traipsing through the penthouse, although usually limited to single episodes. He's too busy taking care of the kids, or off on a job.
• Almost all episodes involve a misunderstanding, usually from the kids. If somebody just spoke up, there wouldn't be a series.
• Once in a while, the treacle is broken up with gruesome details--French's first girlfriend was lost in the London Blitz, Bill's buddy in the Korean War was killed just a few feet from him--that kind of thing. It's rather jarring when it happens.
• The show's budget was rather limited. While the penthouse set is sweet, other scenes look ridiculous--"exterior" shots are clearly in a studio, with astroturf standing in for grass.
• Anissa Jones was apparently forced by the producers to look like she was 6 years old throughout the series, to the point of taping down her breasts as she matured in any public appearances. No wonder she ended up as she did...
• Buffy's doll "Mrs. Beasley" was so popular, Mattel sold the doll for years.
• Family Affair drinking game--take a drink when:
  • Unca Bill says "see" at the end of a line, as if he's Edward G. Robinson
  • When the kids say "whatever that is" in reference to a long word mentioned by an adult
  • When Mrs. Beasley appears (not just mentioned)
  • Cissy looks confused
  • Mr. French mentions "Winnie the Pooh" or "gentlemen's gentlemen"
  • Unca Bill has a new girlfriend
  • You see astroturf in an "outside" scene
• Believe it or not, the show was nominated for 8 Emmys, and a Golden Globe (it never won).
• Things did not go well for the cast post-cancellaton. Jones committed suicide in 1976, and Cabot died of a stroke a year later. In 1997, after the death of his daughter to cancer, Keith also committed suicide.
• The CW tried a remake of the show with Tim Curry as French--it did not last long.

Overall, I would recommend this show when you're doing chores around the house or working on a project. It doesn't take a lot of concentration to keep up with it.

Star Trek DS9: Season Four Continues

Moving on…

• Dax has to deal with one of her past hosts (again) in "Rejoined". In this case, it's another Trill that used to be Dax's wife. Unfortunately, there's a a Trill taboo about their later hosts getting back together--it's a whole "don't ask, don't tell" thing. There's a also the point that they are both now female--after they throw technobabble and sweet nothings at each other, it results in one of television's first same-sex kisses. This is what Trek does best--cloak current issues in sci-fi trappings. Meanwhile, I've noticed that Worf isn't getting a lot to do on the show--he had a bigger part on TNG.
• The Defiant is attacked by the Jem'Hadar in "Starship Down". They are forced to go into the atmosphere of a planet, which means plenty of CGI. It basically becomes a submarine drama. At one point, Dax and Kira move to another station on the bridge--since the stations are just touch displays on glass, why not just reconfigure the one you're in front of?  In a later attack, the bridge is cut off from the rest of the ship, and so engineering (O'Brien) thinks they are dead. I'm not so sure I would assume that. The episode provides a number of character moments, as they say what could be their last words.
• Ugh--another Quark episode! He and the other Ferengis become "Little Green Men" after they end up on 1947 Earth. Darn that time travel! We get to hear Ferengi language minus the universal translator--it's all gibberish to the "Earthlings". It's the same for the Ferengis. Quark, of course, sees it as a great chance to make a fortune. There's a lot of social commentary throughout the episode--nuclear weapons, the danger of cigarettes, and what's allowed under "national security". There's a cute reference to "Hangar 18"--where aliens supposedly are stored. The US Army General is played by Charles Napier--who also played one of the "space hippies" in the TOS episode "The Way to Eden".
• Worf finally gets something to do in "The Sword of Kahless". Get ready for endless discussions about honor and Klingon history! John Colicos drops by as ex-Commander Kor--his fourth Trek appearance over three series (TOS, The Animated Series, and DS9). He gets Worf and Dax to follow him on a quest for the famed weapon. Colicos provides a Shatner-level show of scenery chewing throughout. There's a whole "Indiana Jones" thing going on as they figure out traps and fight off bad guys. It then turns into "Treasure of the Sierra Madre" with each of them fighting for the Bat'leth, which apparently has the ability to influence minds (?!?). In the end, they beam it into space.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Man of Steel Post-Game

…and I'm back from the movie. Without getting too spoilery--

• This is a DARK movie. I was concerned about this months ago (as was the rest of the internet) when the trailers came out, and we were right to worry. The producers will need to lighten things up next time (they've already announced the sequel).
• Henry Cavill, when he's given a chance to do so, is as good as Reeve in his prime. Unfortunately, the script doesn't give him many opportunities to shine.
• Amy Adams handles Lois very well, although she's not given much to do.
• At one point in the movie, Zack Snyder was apparently kicked out of the director's chair and Michael Bay slipped in. Geez, how long does a fight scene with massive destruction need to run? I felt like I could have left to get a sandwich during the fight, returned, and missed nothing in terms of plot line.
• Did the editor leave as well?  This would have been a better film with 20-30 minutes chopped out.
• I heard there were a number of "easter eggs", although I only picked out a LexCorp truck and a Wayne Industries satellite (using the logo from The Dark Knight . I didn’t notice Carrie Farris as a military officer or that a bar was called "Ace O' Clubs". Actor Aaron Smolinski, who played another army officer, played baby Clark in Superman I and a boy at a photo booth in Superman III.

Overall, I liked the movie, but it was darker than I would like and a bit too long. Now that the continuity is established (again), let's hope the sequel does better.

Man of Steel Pre-Game

Finally going to see Man of Steel later today. I got out the Blu-Rays to watch a few scenes from the previous movies in order to get psyched up for it (I'm now worried that I've made a huge mistake).

Watched a few scenes from Superman I:

• Brando as Jor-El is simply over the top
• The special effects may have been groundbreaking in 1978, but they have not aged well
• Reeve is still the best Superman AND Clark--he has this twinkle in his eyes throughout the movie as if to say to the audience "do you believe I get to do this?"
• The best scene is the "you've got me-who's got you?" helicopter sequence. Would you get away with a stereotypical pimp in a movie today?
• There's far more swearing in this movie than I remember

Then I switched to Superman Returns:

• Singer worships the Richard Donner films so much--he crams so many references in that they are distracting
• I'm sorry, but Routh and Bosworth are simply too young, especially since we're supposed to believe this happened years after Superman I and II. This girl who looks 21 at most is a Pulitzer Prize winner?
• The best scene--and the best of all the films so far--is the "space plane" sequence. I have to say I tear up every time I see the plane saved and Superman takes the applause from the crowd.  If the rest of the movie had been 10% as good as that, I wouldn't bother going to the movie today.

I'll do another blog post-movie. I've shied away from spoilers, but the reviews are less than promising.

Star Trek DS9: Starting Season Four

After a bit of a break, we're back to Deep Space Nine...

•  …and we start with the two-parter, "The Way of the Warrior". They sped up the opening theme--it was a big slow--and added more CGI. It's Klingon "Fleet Week" at the station, and Sisko needs some help--from a certain Starfleet Klingon looking for work. Worf (Michael Dorn) ioins the series with this episode, and much of the action surrounds him. The Klingon Empire attacks Cardassia, using an insurrection there and the previous Dominion war as an excuse--and breaks off diplomatic relations with the Federation. It's more honor and duty hoopla, and Barney Google aka Gowron (Robert O'Reilly) drops by. There's a big battle with the Defiant, Cardassians, and the Klingons--and it seems the station got yet another set of weapons upgrades. There's even hand to hand combat on the station--looks like Call of Duty--I don't think Gene Roddenberry would have approved. In the end, the Klingons and the Federation are essentially at war.
• After all the action (and expense) of the last episode, we go to a character story--"The Visitor"--starring Benjamin and Jake. The elder Sisko gets pulled out of technobabble phase, and Jake lives the rest of his life without him with rare exceptions when Ben drops in and out of his life, each time only for a few minutes. The older Jake (Tony Todd), now dying, is visited by a young writer who wants to know why he stopped writing. We get an alternate future where a) DS9 is handed off to the Klingons; b) Jake moves to Earth and marries a Bajoran girl; c) she leaves him due to his obsession to find Ben; and d) Captain Nog (?!?!) and the crew (with lots of old-age makeup) return with the Defiant to save Ben. More technobabble and a suicide later, this history is erased, Ben is saved, and all is back to normal. It's widely considered to be one of the finest episodes of DS9--not sure if I would agree, it seems a bit maudlin.
• Bashir gets a chance to shine in "Hippocratic Oath". He and O'Brien are captured by a Jem'Hadar group, and our doctor ends up running drug rehab for them. There's a whole "Bridge over the River Kwai" vibe to it--Bashir is torn between his job to heal and his orders to fight the Dominion, while O'Brien has no interest in helping them. There's also a B-story with Worf falling into old Security Chief habits, which means he butts heads with Odo.
• We get two views of Love, Federation Style in "Indiscretion". Kira and Gul Dukat look for survivors of a prisoner ship--he's there to find and apparently kill his daughter, who the result of a tryst with a Bajoran. There's a lot of dialogue between them--looks like they needed to save more money on the show. There's an obscure race--the Breen--who appear to have the same outfit as Princess Leia while she was rescuing Han. Meanwhile, Sisko is getting cold feet as Kasidy Yates pushes him to move their relationship forward. Mindy noted that it was lucky that the only two African-Americans in the Federation found each other.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

More Arrested Development

Let's cover the remaining new episodes of Arrested Development--

• Now this is more like it! The first six Netflix episodes were rather depressing, but then Gob Bluth arrived! Why is Will Arnett not a movie star? He shines as the disgraced magician (sorry--illusionist). We also get--STEVE HOLT! Plus an Entourage parody and the return of "Forget-me-now".
• It seems as though the disparate storylines are coming together as we move through the episodes, especially the "Cinco de Quattro" scene.
• I really didn't see the changes to Lindsay coming--going from a life of squatting to running for Congress. Seems like the "Teflon" nature of the characters is kicking in.
• Then again, Tobias' lot in life drops throughout the run. He gets opportunities to change things for the better, but then awkwardly screws it ip.
• We got a commentary on modern reality shows when Lucille becomes the leader of "The Real Asian Prison Housewives of the Orange County White Collar Prison System" (TRAPHOTOCWCPS). Jessica Walter really gets a chance to shine here.
• Things get weird (and on AD, that's saying something) when Gob and Tony Wonder (Ben Stiller) alternately take revenge and fall in love, with the help of face masks of each other.
• Maeby becomes the cement of the series--her episode ties together and resolves multiple storylines. We also learn how George Michael becomes George Maharis, who then brings us "FaceBlock", the world's first anti-social/anti-piracy/wood block app.
• We finally get around to Buster Bluth in the next to last episode. Back in the army, he becomes the first injured drone jockey, before finding Love--Congressman Herbert Love's wife. We actually get a moment of pathos in the middle of the insanity.
• The season's run ends with George Michael nee Maharis, and a confrontation with his father. I have to say I was nonplussed by the ending--many points were not resolved, and the tacked on arrest of Buster for the murder of Lucille II was just a way to say "see you in season five". I wouldn't consider that to be a certainty.

Overall, I would recommend the new season of the show--just be sure to keep your expectations grounded (which the Internet clearly did NOT do).

Arrested Development is available on Netflix.

Arrested Development?

Before we were burned too many times by FOX TV to invest time in any new show, Mindy and I adored Arrested Development. We cheered the Bluth family, and did our best to evangelize the show before it was buried by the network (in a two hour block against a Winter Olympics opening ceremony, no less). Despite various rumors, I never thought it would come back before Netflix made the big announcement--new episodes, to premiere simultaneously!

We spent the last few days bingeing on our AD DVD's in order to fully catch up (6-8 episodes a day) before digging into the new Netflix episodes. In retrospect, that might have been a mistake--the original episodes are far better. I suppose you can't go home again. So far, we've made it through 6 of the 15 new episodes, and it's not promising.

• First off, I keep getting the same feeling I have when watching "Star Trek: The Motion Picture"--the characters are only supposed to be 18 months older, but 10 actual years had elapsed since the original series. The Bluths have the same problem--it's hard to see them in a scene that supposedly occurs on the same day as the final episode.
• Speaking of looks, Portia de Rossi swears she had no plastic surgery, but it's hard to reconcile that with Lindsey's face on the new shows. Perhaps it's a joke--that she's made up to look like Lindsey had botched surgery in the interim? 
• While there are some flashes of brilliance (Cinco de Quatro, C.W. Swappigan's barter restaurant, Kristen Wiig and Seth Rogen as young Lucille and George), the whole thing doesn't hold together.  Creator Mitch Hurwitz mentioned in an interview that, at one point, he wanted to do a a kind of "hyperlinked" show, where you could watch it in whatever order you wanted, and the final product still has that sense. It's disjointed.
• While the show was always mean and featured some unlikeable characters, there's a much darker take here. Michael, in particular, at least tried to do the right thing before, but that's no longer the case. What he puts George Michael through is painful to watch.
• In the earlier shows, the characters seemed to have a "Teflon" quality--terrible things happened (mostly self-inflicted), but things turned out OK in the end. Now, the cast has gone to what Community would call "the darkest timeline".
• They are really packing in the stunt casting, aren't they? I'm sure everyone wanted in Hollywood wanted a role, but we're spending more time IMDBing some guy in the background--"isn't he from…?"--than watching the main action.
• Ron Howard (until now just an unseen narrator) got most of an episode to himself playing a studio mogul.  That wore thin fairly quickly--Opie was never a great actor.
• However, I can't get enough of young Barry Zuckerkorn--played by Henry Winkler's son Max.
• Most obscure reference so far--the cheap Fantastic Four movie from the 1990's (it actually happened, although Roger Corman produced it, not Ron Howard).

Hopefully, the remaining episodes will turn things around.  Arrested Development is available on Netflix.  

Star Trek: Nemesis

It's time for the last TNG movie--

• First, I do want to note this is the only Trek movie we haven't already seen.  Mindy and I looked at the previews and reviews, based on how bad Insurrection was, and made the call to skip it.
• The movie starts with a wedding--Riker and Troi's. They are both about to move onto a new ship, but this is quickly forgotten in the plot.
• It's always surprising to me how long people stand around  in movies when they clearly are watching a bomb about to go off--in this case, the Romulan Senate.
• Captain (now Admiral) Janeway makes an appearance in the movie, which came out after Voyager was over.
• There was a four year break between this and the previous movie, almost as long as the break afterward, after which the Abrams reboot premiered.
• Spiner got a writing credit for this movie, which explains why Data has such a large role--both as Data and "B-4".
• When the other android is found, Picard decides to put him back together--oh, that's a great idea!  No one even mentioned "Lore" during all this. He is quickly forgotten, and as always, that's a big mistake.
• We do get SPACE dune-buggies though. Do they make any sense? Of course not. How does Picard drive one off a cliff and into a shuttle to escape bad guys, who also illogically also have space buggies? No idea.
• We finally meet the other half of the Romulan Empire--the Remans--never mentioned before in Trek. Gee, I wonder if they're bad guys? Maybe the fact that they look like Skeletor is a clue.
• So Picard has a clone named Shinzon, and he's also the Romulan Praetor? Ohh-kay. He;s played by Tom Hardy, who also Bane in The Dark Knight Rises. He doesn't really look like Stewart at all--just bald.
• Wow, this movie is talky! Picard and Shinzon talk history and philosophy for several minutes.
• So, we get a rape scene--it least a mental rape--with Troi as the victim. Was that really necessary? Well, it apparently allows her to find a cloaked ship Ouija board-style later.
• Picard drives a Reman shuttle through ship hallways in order to escape--really?!?
• There's a reference to a "USS Archer"--clearly meant to tie this into the Enterprise series. You know, the one with Captain Archer who helped to create the Federation, and who was never mentioned until that series began?
• And now it's the pointless personal duel between Riker and the Reman--"you mind-raped my wife!"
• After a ship battle, another Enterprise is ruined. At least Picard didn't get to use the "auto-destruct" gambit.
• How does Geordi know exactly how "the weapon" on the Reman ship works?
• It's a space-bird! It's a space-plane!  No--it's SUPER DATA!! Unfortunately, he has to sacrifice himself to save the others. Fortunately, there's a spare…
• So was our decision to skip this movie when it first came out correct? Absolutely.

Well, that's it for Trek movies for a while--back to DS9 next time. If you can stomach it, Star Trek: Nemesis is available on Hulu Amazon, and Netflix.

Star Trek: Insurrection

Moving onto the third of the four TNG movies--

• The whole movie is about immortality and what some races will do to get it--including atrocities against their own race.
• Yet more uniform variants--this time, it's dress uniforms that look like we just got on the Love Boat
• There's innumerable references to DS9 in the beginning of the movie. It helps to explain how Worf joins them on the mission.
• Data's gone nuts! Of course, in the grand tradition of TNG literary references, Picard stops him with GIlbert and Sullivan.
• With Frakes in the director's chair, he's written in a love story with Troi. We even get a bubble bath scene (ewww!)
• There's a boatload of action in this movie--phaser shootouts, shuttle dogfights, and an exciting exodus of a village. We're supposed to believe Patrick Stewart as action hero?? He even has a love interest, and he and his compatriots go "rogue" to follow his beliefs.
• There's some goofy bits with Data as always--at one point, he becomes a "floatation device" in a lake
• Apparently, Spiner wanted to make this his last movie--he felt he was getting too old for the role. It looks like money changed that.
• Oh, it's the old "hide in the nebula bit" from TWOK!  Riker sounds like John Wayne during a battle--"we're through running (pilgrim)!" He even gets a "manual override" on the bridge in the form of a joystick that somehow controls the whole ship?!?!
• As always, any Federation personnel not on the Enterprise are evil and/or incompetent. In this case, an Admiral gone amuck ends up being taken out by the bad guys.
• It's always convenient when alien races use Earth's system of time measurement…
• The bad guys are duped by the oldest trick in the book--drop them into a holodeck, and let them think they won.
• Again with the ridiculously complicated macguffin that has to be destroyed!!  

We'll move onto the final TNG movie next time. Star Trek: Insurrection is available on Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon. 

Star Trek: First Contact

We're moving on to the first true TNG movie--no Kirk and Co. interference.  First Contact is all about the Borg, time travel, and Zephram Cochrane--inventor of the warp drive.

• As expected, Starfleet whipped up an Enterprise-E to replace the ship destroyed in Generations
• La Forge now has direct corneal implants--no more visor for LeVar Burton. Also, Data can now turn off the emotion chip at will--maybe they should have added that ability that in the last movie?
• Cochrane is played by James Cromwell, He's not the hero Trek history made him out to be, so Riker has to convince him to make history happen. Sirtis even gets to do a drunk comedy bit. 
• Meanwhile, Picard plays "Die Hard" back on the Enterprise vs. the Borg, who are a lot more creepy with movie-budget effects. The Borg Queen (Alice Krige) was added, which frankly reduces the threat by giving them a conventional villain to fight. She tries to ensnare and seduce Data with new emotions.
• We also get a cameo by the holographic doctor from Voyager (Robert Picardo), and Barclay (Dwight Schultz) drops by as well
• Zephram's assistant Lily (Alfre Woodard) ends up on the ship as well--Picard talks her down and they end up fighting together. At one point, Picard explains to her that mankind has evolved past the need for money--what about latinum?
• Picard pulls the old holodeck trick on the Borg, hiding inside "The Big Goodbye", and then fights the Borg in zero G outside the ship.
• This film introduces escape pods to the Enterprise. Again, these would have come in helpful in previous adventures.
• In the final battle, technobabble gas wipes out the Borg, with Picard and Data's help
• RIker and Geordi end up flying the first warp vessel along with Cochrane, and we get to see Earth's "first contact" with the Vulcans. Somehow, all this tampering with the past doesn't crew things up. Screw the Prime Directive!

We'll move onto ST: Insurrection next. Star Trek: First Contact is available on Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon. 

Star Trek: Generations

We're now far enough into DS9 that, chronologically, TNG completed its run.  So, we're going to take the opportunity to watch the TNG movies, starting with the hybrid "Generations" film that spans TOS and TNG. No overall plotline here--just my thoughts:

• It's clear that Paramount didn't have enough faith that TNG would transfer into movies, so they leaned heavily on the old TOS warhorses for this film. We don't see Picard and Co until 18 minutes in--and doing a goofy holodeck to boot.
• It's also clear that most of the TOS cast wisely skipped this one--only Shatner, Doohan, and Koenig accepted the check. Tuvok (Tim Russ) also manages to get a cameo minus the ears.
• Wouldn't you think the reporters, there for the maiden voyage, should be cleared from the bridge once the real action started?
• Speaking of the bridge--even on the Enterprise-B and even -D, Starfleet hasn't figured out the need for seat belts
• The TV-based Enterprise-D sets don't translate well into film--just more dramatically lit. Again, lack of faith by Paramount translates to minimal investment. Keep in mind that the first TOS film was, at the time, the most expensive film ever made.
• They did add a "stellar cartography" set, though--just an excuse for more CGI. 
• Data's "if I only had a heart/magic computer chip" storyline gets old quickly
• At one point, Picard is looking at a "SPACE" photo album--you know it's "SPACE" because the photos have a holographic border. Physical photo albums are out of date today, much less in the 24th century.
• LIke all modern action movies, there's an incredibly complicated "macguffin" that has to be stopped--in this case, a probe that will destroy a populated planet.
• In the grand tradition of Trek films, the Enterprise-D is destroyed in an impressive display of CGI. Don't worry, there's plenty of letters to go.
• I did enjoy the dramatic meeting of Kirk and Picard--and Kirk's unwillingness to leave his dream. In a nice touch, you can just barely see Starfleet china in a cabinet in Kirk's kitchen. We have one of those sets--it's in our china cabinet.
• They also included a horse riding sequence for Shatner, who's an accomplished rider and owner of quarter horses.
• Of course, the real reason Shatner came back was to get a glorious death sequence. I'm sure he was always jealous of Nimoy getting his in TWOK.

ST: First Contact comes up next. Star Trek: Generations is available on Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon.

Star Trek DS9: Season Three Wraps Up

Let's finish up the third season...

• Sisko, having nothing better to do, builds a ship with his son in "Explorers". He apparently also had time to grow a goatee. Many internet geeks complained that the "solar sail" ship they build is impossible--the sail needs to be hundreds of times the size shown for it to actually work. There's a "building the ship" montage designed to fill time in this "day in the life" episode. Jake announces he's been accepted for a literary scholarship, but unfortunately wants to wait a year (rats!), They manage to get the ship to Cardassian space, where they are treated to an (impossible in space) fireworks display. The B-story is about Julian and an old female schoolmate at the academy--she was the valedictorian. There's a great scene with a drunk O'Brien and Bashir singing together as the doctor commisserates. Turns out the other doctor, the CMO on a Starfleet ship, would rather have Bashir's job.
• Blech! Another Quark-heavy episode in "Family Business". The Ferengi is being audited--which is even worse in their society than in ours. HIs mother (Andrea Martin) is being charged with "earning profit"--illegal for a female. Andrea sounds like Edna Boil from SCTV. His old home reminds me of "The Hobbit"--lots of small circular doorways. The B-story is about Jake fixing up his old man with freighter captain Kasidy Yates (Penny Johnson Jerald). Turns out they're both into baseball.
• While the rest of the crew play darts (don't they have work to do?), Kira runs a special mission for Kai Wynn in "Shakaar". Kira's old resistance cell are now farmers, and they're holding onto macguffin devices Wynn needs to secure her position in the government. Louise Fletcher continues her mustache-twirling ways as the Kai--she tries to play against all sides and fails miserably. Of course, Kira gets way too deep into the situation as always--she spends weeks as a fugitive before turning the resistance leader into a politician. As for the B-story, the dart game is rather goofy--it really went nowhere.
• Dax has a visit with past hosts in "Facets". It's a Trill ritual that involves loaning the other host's memories to others, with the rest of the cast as guinea pigs. They all get to play a new character--it's rather like audition monologues for genre actors! For no reason, they include the murderous host in the ceremony, hosted by Sisko--Avery Brooks gives him a whole Hannibal vibe. Host Curzon (hosted by Odo) decides to hang around--oops! The whole concept makes no sense--why is she asking questions of her previous hosts, when she should already have their memories. Leeta (Chase Masterson), a Dabo girl, has apparently become part of the inner circle with little explanation--I guess they needed another female role on the show. There's a B-story with Nog training for his Starfleet academy entrance tests. As usual, Nog is goofy but earnest.
• All this dart playing, ship building, and mind-swapping have paid off--Commander Sisko is made a Captain in "The Adversary". His first mission involves the Defiant, a planet in crisis, and an ambassador (Lawrence Pressman, a Trek veteran) who's not really an ambassador. It turns out a Changeling is on the Defiant, and it's trying to start a war by taking over the ship. No one can trust another, since any of them (or anything on the ship) could be the Changeling. It's time for the ol' Self-Destruct sequence! We also get the "who's the real Odo?" sequence. There's a Changeling fight and a whispered secret to Odo--"we are everywhere"--which takes us to the end of Season Three.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

It's Pilot Season at Amazon

In the brave new world of internet television, Amazon has decided to go the traditional route with "pilots" of new original programming, many with big stars and proven creative talent. We watched several of them (they're available here)--my quick reviews…

• "Alpha House" stars John Goodman as a US Senator living with other congressman in the same house and the shenanigans that ensue. Like many of the Amazon shows, "internet TV" translates into "how many swear words can we jam into each minute?". Washington becomes a big frat house (which may be depressingly close to the truth), and writer Garry Trudeau (Doonesbury) lays it on with a trowel. Try "House of Cards" instead.
• "Betas" is all about hipster software developers--if you're not currently working on an iPhone app, most of the references will go over your head. Unfortunately, the show morphs into the standard "geeky guy wants the girl" plot. I suggest you spend a better time with Angry Birds.
• "Browsers" (apparently, "Gamma Time" was taken) follows several interns at an internet site. Inexplicably, the kids break into song--it's Glee meets The Daily Beast! Bebe Neuwirth plays the boss--I wouldn't say her portrayal is broad, but perhaps she could wear an "I'm Arriana Huffington" sandwich board to help the audience out.
• "Onion News Empire" is a slickly produced Newsroom parody with Jeffrey Tambor in the main anchor role. While it's very funny, the show seems very limited--not sure where they take it from here. Check out the mothership instead.
• "Those Who Can't" is a sitcom that perpetuates the whole "teachers are idiots, kids are in control" concept. We couldn't take more than a few minutes before moving on.
• A bright spot is "Dark Minions", an animated show starring the voices of Kripke (John Ross Bowie) and Stuart (Kevin Sussman) from the Big Bang Theory. They play slackers who end up as, well, minions in a galactic empire that is only slightly more organized than the rebellion fighting them. The only problem with the pilot is the lack of full animation--they couldn't afford it for the pilot, but I would definitely watch this show.

We skipped "Supanatural" and Zombieland, as well as the kid's shows. You can try them out for yourself at Amazon Video. 

Star Trek DS9: Season Three Rolls On

Time jumps, old age makeup, alternate universes, and military intrigue...

• O'Brien becomes a "Visionary" after a radiation accident lets him jump into the future. Romulans are on the station checking out intelligence reports on the Dominion (part of the trade for borrowing cloaking tech to the Defiant), and he sees the destruction of DS9, only a few hours away.  The time jump storyline is rather complicated, but the producers pull it off well. Our heroes keep trying to stop Miles' events from happening with no luck. Of course, there's a technobabble explanation for whole thing. We also get a great sequence with the station exploding--no CGI, it's a real model blowing up, per the Memory Alpha site.
• Bashir starts hearing "Distant Voices" after he is attacked by an alien junkie. The station is mostly deserted and trashed--he only finds Quark and Garak. He starts rapidly aging (a favorite Trek trick). He finally finds most of the staff, bickering with each other. A damaged communication system starts emitting the crew's voices--it turns out he's in a coma, and the "others" with him are actually different aspects of his subconscious. The alien takes out each of them, removing a bit of Bashir's mind when he does so. In the end, he repairs the ship and stops the alien--all in his mind--to save himself. This is really a tour de force for Siddig.
• Speaking of favorite Trek tricks--we return to the Mirror Mirror universe "Through the Looking Glass". Mirror O'Brien kidnaps Sisko and takes him back--he's needed to replace the now dead Mirror Sisko to complete a rebellion mission, Unfortunately, the mission is to convince Mirror Jennifer Sisko (who's was killed by the Borg in the normal universe) to stop work on a Macguffin device--or kill her. There's a lot of overacting, especially from Mirror Kira. We also meet Mirror Dax, who's Sisko's mistress. Vulcan Tuvok (Tim Russ) from Voyager also guest stars. Our Sisko seems to have no trouble slipping into the pirate role--even remembering all the details of his alternate. There's a very Star Wars-ian chase through Terek Nor (DS9), then the self-destruct gambit is used for our heroes to escape. You can tell the cast loves these episodes. Frankly, I think this storyline is better than the main series.
• Another two-parter begins with "Improbable Cause". There's an attempted assassination of Garak, and Odo is on the case. The attack is tracked back to the Romulans, who have apparently hired new tailors--the huge shoulder pads are gone. A Cardassian "deep throat" provides more backstory, and Odo confronts Garak. There's a whole "Obsidian Order" angle involved. A trip to track down Garak's mentor Enabran Tain (Paul Dooley) ends in their capture by the Romulans, who are working with the Cardassians to take out the Dominion. Garak sells out Odo to Tain, and we're onto part two--"The Die is Cast". The Cardassian/Romulan fleet move to DS9 and the wormhole while Tain and Garak talk over old times. Starfleet, of course, wants DS9 to stay out of it, and Sisko, of course, ignores it. There's a power play between Garak and Tain as the former's loyalties are tested regarding Odo's torture, and a technobabble device that stops Odo from changing his shape used to provide the torture. In the end, the Jem'Hadar trap and destroy the Cardassian/Romulan fleet--the Romulan commander is actually a Founder. Odo and Garak use the confusion to escape, with the Defiant giving them a hand. Apparently, this story was made into a two-parter at the last minute--and it shows. There's a lot of dialogue designed to stretch out the story rather than advance it.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.

Star Trek DS9: Even More of Season Three

The cast is in peril, as well as the station, in this next group of episodes.

• Let's spin the Wheel of Character Death in "Life Support".  The winner--or loser--is Vedek Bereil, who's advising the Kai on Cardassian negotiations when a shuttle accident almost kills him. The episode turns into "Medical Center", with Bashir standing in for Chad Everett. More and more experimental procedures are tried to save Bereil's life, to the point of replacing his brain with positronic implants. In the end, there's just too much to replace, and Bashir refuses to go further. There's also a B-story with Nog and Jake--I hate the Nog character.  I also noticed yet another Kira hairstyle--she's the Troi of DS9.
• Now let's put a main character in peril--Kira--in "Heart of Stone". She and Odo are on a shuttle run and run into a Maquis battle--she ends up in a cave stuck in a crystal that threatens to envelop her (seems kind of goofy). There's even more technobabble than usual in this episode. Odo works furiously to save his friend, and when it seems all is lost, finally admits his love for her. Of course, it turns out "Kira" is just a Changeling, trying to find out why Odo wouldn't join them--the real Kira is fine. Meanwhile--Nog's back (ugh!) and he wants to go to Starfleet Academy. He's afraid he will end up like his father, shilling for Quark.
• Could a Bajoran warning of doom be DS9's "Destiny"? A rogue Vedek arrives, stating that a joint Bajoran/Cardassian scientific mission is part of an apocalyptic prophecy. Sisko and Kira ignore it until the parallels start to spook the Bajoran officer. She tries to convince Sisko to scrap the mission, and he starts to believe the prophecy too. It turns out the Obsidian Order is involved, and Sisko aka "The Emissary" has to save the day.The B-story involves one of the Cardassian scientists (Tracy Scoggins) and O'Brien butting heads on engineering--then she starts to hit on him.
• Blech--another Ferengi-centric episode! Did anyone think their antics were funny? Grand Nagus Zek (Wallace Shawn) has a "Prophet Motive", and it involves a rewrite of the "Rules of Acquisition" and a missing Bajoran Orb. Quark is forced to move in with Rom--can two Ferengi share quarters without driving each other crazy? The B-story is about Bashir and a Federation medical award. Overall--this is a terrible episode. According to the Memory Alpha site, the plotline came from an unpurchased Taxi spec script, which explains a lot.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and all the Trek series) is available on Netflix.