In Defense of Hogan's Heroes by Mark

As a kid growing up in Northeast Ohio, I always loved to hear that the Cleveland Indians' game was rained out. Why? Well, of course the Indians sucked in the 70's. But the real reason was "Rainout Theater", where they would show Hogan's Heroes episodes back to back.

Of the handful of you reading this, I hear a few of you gasp--"That was a horrible show!  Incredibly insensitive!"  Well, before I start a review of the series, I wanted to get a few things straight.

When Hogan's Heroes premiered in 1965, bizarre sitcoms were in their heyday, including these premises:

  • A Martian living in a boarding house
  • A post-Civil War fort run by buffoons
  • A dead Mother reincarnated as a car
  • An Ozark family living in a Beverly Hills mansion
  • Stereotypes marooned on a tropical island (long before Lost)
  • A man married to a witch, and another to a genie
  • Two separate shows with ghoulish people living in scary mansions

A show about saboteurs in a WWII prisoner of war camp seems tame by comparison.

Notice I said "Prisoner of War" camp.  It wasn't a concentration camp.  So, the arguments about how tasteless the show was are faulty.  I also want to note that the actors playing the recurring Nazis on the show were actually Jewish, and fled Germany because of WWII.

As far as making light of the Nazis--see the filmography of Mel Brooks.  Almost every film he has made takes a shot at Hitler.

Finally, about Bob Crane.  The less said about his private life, the better (although I do recommend Auto Focus, the biopic with Greg Kinnear).  That should have no impact on how you like or dislike the series.  If we knew everything about our favorite TV stars and based our viewing decisions on that info, we would be watching a lot of documentaries.

So, I hope that clears up things.

 

I'm not planning to do separate entries for all 168 episodes--I'll just bring up some interesting points as I go through the "Kommandant's Kollection" DVD boxed set I got for Christmas.  I'll also give you some info on the cast.

The show was created by Bernard Fein and Albert S. Ruddy.  Fein was an active presence in front of the camera in the late 50's and 60's--his best known role was on The Phil Silvers Show.  Ruddy did slightly better--he produced The Godfather and Million Dollar Baby.  On the other hand, he wrote Megaforce.  Bing Crosby's company led the production--they also did Ben Casey and The Great Santini.  It was produced at the same studio as That Girl and Mayberry R.F.D. 

Was it a terrible show?  Well, it was nominated for 12 Emmys and won two, both for Werner Klemperer.

More to come...

Aquaman Wrapup by Mark

Well, we managed to get through the Adventures of Aquaman animated series.  The final stats: 

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad: way out in front is Tadpole with 68 references, followed by Minnow at 27, and coming up in the rear are Sardine at 3 and Squirt at 2 references
  • After 94 attempts, Aqualad's official catchphrase is Jumping Jellyfish at 10 references, just beating out Leaping Lampreys at 9. Holy Haddock came in third at 7 references
  • Recurring villains: as expected, Black Manta comes out on top with 5 appearances, followed by the Brain at 4, Vassa at 3, and Torpedoman and the Fisherman tied at 2 appearances each

What did we learn?

  • Filmation lived up to their reputation of reusing footage.  It seems like there's no more than 6 different sequences of Aquaman in the whole series.
  • The ancient knowledge of Atlantis allows electronics to work fine underwater
  • Walruses can breathe underwater, swim in the air, and help you out of a jam
  • Aquatic superheroes need aquasteeds to get around, except when they don't
  • Aliens seem insistent on attacking the oceans
  • There are many underwater kingdoms, some living in aquahuts
  • Always send your henchman into the water to attack Aquaman, despite historical data showing this is ineffectual
  • When defeating a villain, be sure to drop him into a trench, or just let him go
  • If you are a villain, regardless of all the riches in the sea, always attack Atlantis
  • There are endless numbers of fish you can order into battle and apparent death, many with specific tools for heads

Finally, I want to thank the creators of two sites I've used:

Coming up next--we go to Stalag 13...

Aquaman - The Silver Sphere / To Catch a Fisherman by Mark

It's the final episodes of Aquaman! Dennis Marks brings us "The Silver Sphere".

A sulfur pit on the border of the Lizardman and Tortoid's kingdoms spits out the aforementioned sphere. Plant life grows "magically", and the two sentries each decide they want the sphere. A fight ensues, a war begins, and Aquaman comes in to break it up. Aquaman sets up a sports competition and a complicated set of rules to determine who keeps the sphere. Unfortunately, Black Manta also hears about the sphere, and tries to grabs Aqualad as a diversion to get it--a Tortoid saves the teen, and he joins their team. A race through "cactoids" (underwater cacti?) catches the Lizardman swimmer, and Aqualad goes to save him--but he was faking. The Sea King figures out that Manta has the sphere, and goes after him. Manta tests the sphere successfully, but Aquaman rushes in and is then trapped.

Meanwhile, the games go on--now it's wrestling. Aqualad wins, but the Lizardmen now figure out the sphere is gone and suspect Aquaman (who's conveniently missing). Both parties tell the teen he's a goner if he doesn't return. Back to Manta, who tells his henchmen to watch Aquaman while he's gone (bad idea Manta). Aquaman calls in guppies--small enough not to be noticed, but big enough to push the sphere. Up come the plants, and Aquaman is freed. Meanwhile, Aqualad is in the Olympic "carry a boulder on a tightrope over a sulfur pit" event. A Lizardman isn't as lucky, but Tusky saves him. Now, Aquaman is back--with the sphere. A battle ensues with Manta,  whose ship goes into the pit. The Tortoids are awarded the sphere, but both parties decide they will share it. 

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (65)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Bumbling Blowfish, Leaping Lampreys
  • This is a "message" episode--like an After School special
  • The whole Olympic bit is very weird
  • You have to assume that Manta's ship goes in the sulfur pit--we watched the shot multiple times, and the ship is knocked toward it by a whale, but the animation is so bad, you don't really see it go in
  • This whole episode seems like a Silver Age comic story, but I can't find a comic book reference

 

Bob Haney brings down the curtain with "To Catch a Fisherman" (with Chris Hansen).

Tusky and Imp are playing, but Tusky disappears, and Imp goes for help. Our heroes begin a search, and Aquaman decides to call on the "Old Man of the Sea", who apparently knows everything. The Old Man, who lives in a clam, tells them they have to go "where the sea burns". It's not a metaphor--they go to an undersea volcano.

They find Tusky in lava--it's a toy replica! The Fisherman (of the title) set it up, and dives in a small ship to attack. A harpoon picks up some lava and spins around them to form a prison. Aqualad gets out via a small hole, but is attacked by depth charges. The Sea King calls in the fish troops while Aqualad sneaks away. He's off to talk to the Old Man again, only to find him and Tusky in chains. Tusky  is freed, but the Old Man tells him to leave now--Aquaman needs his help. More cryptic messages--"a two legged fish can only be caught by a two legged bait". Back to Aquaman--the fish troops are getting hit with more trick harpoons. Aqualad remembers the Old Man, and realizes he has to be the bait. The Fisherman tries to catch the teen in a net, and a fight ensues. This gives the fish troops (whales in this case) enough time to break Aquaman out of the lava prison. Aquaman and the troops go to finish off the villain, but he warns them he will blow them all up. Tusky uses the replica to distract the Fisherman, and they wrap him up. THe Old Man of the Sea is freed, and explains that he didn't send them into danger--the Fisherman did it, disguised as him. The final shot of the series is the standard "let's head for home" from the Sea King, with Tusky clapping.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (68), Minnow (27), Sardine (3)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Jumping Jackfish, Mumbling Mantis, Holy Mackerel, Blubbering Blowfish, Leaping Lampreys. I guess he was using up his stock for the final episode.
  • If you knew someone who literally knows everything, would you bother him trying to find a missing pet?
  • Fisherman now has trick harpoons, similar to Green Arrow's trick arrows?
  • How did the burly Fisherman disguise himself as the wispy Old Man?

Next time, we'll wrap up Aquaman (in some old newspapers).

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

Aquaman - The Stickman of Stygia / Three Wishes to Trouble by Mark

Oscar Bensol sticks us with "The Stickmen of Stygia".

Aqualad and Mera have nothing better to do than annoy the Sea King with a prank involving a fake ship--Tusky is wrangled into it too. Aqualad calls in a fake distress call. Unfortunately, actual aliens are watching all of this (for Stygia's Funniest Home Videos?). The aliens want to capture Aquaman and bring them back to their planet as a water slave.

The prank continues--Tusky makes some fake alien sounds as Aquaman arrives. He sees a beam from the fake ship moving a rock, recognizes it as a normal flashlight, and realizes he is being set up. Aqualad is moving the rock, and manages to push it towards the fake ship. The Sea King swoops in to save them, and gets hit by the rock. They apologize to him, but he's not happy. The Stygians take this opportunity to attack with an immobilizer and a magnetic beam. Aquaman calls in an octopus (Topo?) that knocks out the beam temporarily, then cut the line and tie it down. Somehow, this manages to keep the spaceship from escaping, and drags it to the sea bottom. They fire torpedos that knock out Mera, forcing Aqualad to save her. After the ship's guns are knocked out by sharks, they come out with hand guns that fire force rays. Aquaman decides to go the prank route, fooling the Stygians into thinking the flashlight nullifies their guns. Some dolphins pushing rocks onto their ship complete the effect, and they blast off. Laughter plays us out.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (61)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Holy Hagfish, Leaping Lionfish
  • The Stygians are in fact stickmen--they look like they came out of a Play-Doh Fun Factory
  • They never explain why they need Aquaman as a water slave "upon pain of death"

 

Bob Haney's back with "Three Wishes to Trouble".

Tusky finds a jug on a sunken ship. Aqualad opens it to find (of course) an aqua-genie named Snork--is this the father of the Snorks? I smell a lawsuit. Anyway, the genie (who sounds a little like Jim Backus as Mr. Magoo) offers the teen three wishes. Wish #1 is a robot to do his chores. The robot is ordered to clean up the wrecked ships, but his vacuum also starts pulling in Tusky and Imp. Aquaman sees what's going on, and comes in to help.

The genie is hiding from Aqualad while the robot goes wild, destroying a coral reef and trapping him. Aquaman saves him and goes after the robot--Aqualad finds the genie and wishes for a robot smasher, which does his job. Aquaman questions the teen, who tells him about the genie, and Aquaman orders him to get the genie back in the jug. The genie says he has one more wish, and Aqualad decides he would like  to have Aqua-telepathic powers, just once. Unfortunately, his uncontrolled telepathy calls up huge mutant fish from the bottom of the sea, and since he said "just once", he loses the power so he can't send them back down. Aquaman has to bail him out with normal fish troops to push them back in. Aqualad confesses to the Sea King, and a pufferfish is brought in to suck up the genie and put him back in the jug.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (63) 
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Howling Hungfish, Leaping Lionfish, Mumbling Mantis, Murmering Moonfish, Leaping Lampreys (whew!)
  • The robot's vacuum is powerful enough to pull Imp's mane color off for a moment
  • Why doesn't Aquaman just order the mutant fish back down, rather than fight them with normal fish?

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

Aquaman - Programmed for Destruction / The War of the Quatix and the Bimphars by Mark

Dennis Marks IS "Programmed for Destruction".

We're in yet another cave turned into a villain's HQ--this time, it's The Brain. He's built a computer with all Aqua-facts, in order to learn the best way to destroy our heroes. The computer (which talks, as all 1960's computers do) recommends "positive buoyancy" to force Aquaman to the surface. In order to build the ray, they need oxymite from deep sea emeralds--so the Brain and his henchman are off to do some mining.

The sets off an alarm in the Aquacave, and our heroes go check it out. Explosions and digging are seen. The Sea King decides to go in alone, allowing Aqualad and Tusky to be captured with a viscosity gun. Aquaman sees this, and is then captured as well. Dolphins are called in, who set up high frequency soundwaves to break them out. Meanwhile, the Brain has completed his buoyancy weapon, and the Sea King is worried. He calls in the whole fish army, but the ray starts zapping them and they float up to the surface. Aqualad and Tusky are hit, and up they go. Aquaman goes to find a strange huge fish with one big eye that acts like a mirror, reflecting the ray back on the ship.  The Brain abandons ship, allowing the Sea King to sneak on the reverse the ray. A whale takes out the ship.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (57), Minnow (22)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Leaping Lampreys, Jumping Jellyfish
  • I knew dolphins were smart, but I had no idea they could generate special frequencies by swimming around!
  • "The Secret of Positive Buoyancy"--is that the new Harry Potter novel?
  • Why do villains on this show send out their henchmen when they already have our heroes on the ropes? Seems counterproductive.

 

Dennis Marks also brings us "The War of the Quatix and the Bimphabs" (ask your doctor about Quatix).

Aqualad and Tusky are playing when Aquaman calls them in--there's a top secret mission. The military has discovered Planet Q344, an all water world. They have no way to explore it, so they have called in our heroes to go there. When do they go? Now, since there's no need for any training to run the water-filled rocket. The Aquaheroes (including Tusky) blast off! They are then told they have all of three hours to explore a planet and get back to the ship, or get marooned there. The animated DCU must have better rocket tech than we do, since they reach this faraway planet before the opening credits.

They splashdown and take a look around. Aquaman warns the teen to be careful. Aqualad goes for a snack, but the plant traps him in metal bars while alien fish swoop in. Aquaman's telepathy doesn't work on them, so he's captured as well. The aliens consider them as spies (which they essentially are), and call them Bimphabs--they are the Quatix. They are taken to a cave with a "Crial"--a huge squidlike creature. Aquaman manages to break free, but the Bimphabs arrive and attack. The Quatix see that he is fighting them, so they ally with him. The Bimphabs capture Aqualad and Tusky--we learn they live on a small island (the only land on the planet), and offer to save Aquaman if the teen helps them. Aqualad reluctantly agrees, since they have to get back to the ship. The Sea King is offered the same deal for the Quatix. The two armies meet--Aquaman signals the teen to break away and attack both armies. The generals on both sides are captured by the Crial--turns out Aqua-telepathy works on him. Both sides agree to terms to avoid being the Crial's lunch. Our heroes return to the ship just in time. 

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (58), Minnow (25)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Leaping Lampreys, Holy Mackerel, Galloping Guppies. Aquaman counters with Great Grunion.
  • We get a political statement at the end as our heroes say "peace"

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

Aquaman: The Undersea Trojan Horse / The Vicious Villainy Of Vassa by Mark

Bob Haney is back with "The Undersea Trojan Horse".

A robotic man-of-war is the HQ for Dr. Lamprey, who has the face of an overripe yam. He's ready for Operation: Robots Unlimited, which starts with a small relay unit. The relay calls in robotic swordfish, which attack the Sea King and his friends. Meanwhile, the good doctor goes to attack Atlantis. Aquaman takes out one of the robots with a hard water ball, and Aqualad rides the other into a coral reef.

Operation: Robots Unlimited continues with the titular Trojan Horse, left for Mera to find. She apparently never read Greek literature, since she opens it up to find more robots that follow her back to Atlantis. The aforementioned relay will detonate the robot fish when they get close to the domed city, so real fish are called in to stop them. It's roboshark vs. real shark! Aquaman recognizes Dr. Lamprey's ship, and Torpedo Rays are brought in to shock it. Of course, the control is in the relay, so they have to find it. Robotic Torpedo Fish join the fray, and the Sea King hits them with a wall of water. Tusky finds the relay and clobbers it, stopping all the robots. Lamprey decides to amscray while Mera still wants the Trojan Horse. Women!

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (55), Minnow (20), Sardine (2)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Holy Hungfish, Suffering Shellfish, Soaring Sailfish, Leaping Ladyfish
  • I assume many of Aquaman's fish subjects die in the robot battle

 

Oscar Bensol brings back everyone's favorite bad girl in "The Vicious Villainy of Vassa".

A set of ships arrive near Atlantis and start drilling into the ocean floor near it. Vassa has decided to get into the domed city from the bottom. Meanwhile, the Aquateam is inside Atlantis checking out the new defense warning system--a blinking obelisk tells you if danger is near. Of course, it starts flashing as an apparent earthquake starts--it's Vassa's ships tunneling into the city! Geysers of water stream in, and citizens are ordered to higher ground. Our heroes go to the Aquacave long enough to track down the ships, who use their laser beam drills on them. Aquaman calls in the fish troops who take out one of the ships.

Back in Atlantis, Mera decides to go find her Sea King. He finds more ships and the battle is back on. Mera is captured by Vassa using some sort of vortex, and Tusky pantomimes the problem to Aquaman--he's captured too. He manages to reverse the vortex, which disables Vassa's ship. Two other ships chasing Tusky manage to run into each other, and a hard water ball sends another toward Aquaman! Mera gets to the controls to divert the ship. Vassa shoots the laser at Aquaman--he sends the ship into a reef, then sneaks onto the ship and forces Vassa to release Mera. Manta Rays are brought in to plug the holes created by the ships and stop the flooding in Atlantis. Vassa is taken to Atlantis for her punishment, starting with pumping the water back out. Tusky winks maniacally at the camera as we say goodbye.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (56), Minnow (21)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Bossy(?) Barracuda, Holy Haddock, Leaping Lungfish
  • Wow--that's a GREAT early warning system for Atlantis...
  • Even though they are inside Atlantis, which has no water, Tusky manages to swim in the air

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

Aquaman: The Sea Sorcerer / The Sea Snares Of Captain Sly by Mark

Dennis Marks pens "The Sea Sorcerer".

We begin in an ancient cave where some hocus-pocus is going on. A wizard notes that he now has every spell that exists, and he's going to use them on Aquaman to take over the seas. He spies on the Sea King with a crystal ball and calls up a sandstorm (?), then arrives on a giant toad which grabs Aqualad with his tongue. The Sea King does the old spinning water bit to free the teen. The Sea Sorcerer swears that he'll get Aquaman, then vanishes. 

Our heroes get a call from a relay station--they are being attacked by a fire-breathing dragon, so they're off to help.  They ride in on marlins which pop the dragon--no good. Aquaman calls in Pufferfish to shoot water at the dragon to put him out. They find the Sorcerer knocked out on the sea floor. who acts like he escaped from the bad guy. Aqualad and Tusky take him toward Atlantis, but he ends up capturing them. Another sandstorm attacks Aquaman, and is then sent toward jagged coral. Aqualad gets Tusky to knock the crystal ball away and break it, saving the Sea King. Tusky frees Aqualad so they join up with Aquaman. The Sea Sorcerer goes all in, trapping them in ice and fire. Aquaman calls in Killer Whales to break the ice, then hits the villain with a hard water ball, knocking him into a deep gorge.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (51), Minnow (17)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Soaring Sailfish, Leaping Lampreys, Jumping Jellyfish
  • Nice ancient book with "The Book of Magic" in English on the cover
  • Wouldn't an underwater sandstorm just turn into mud?
  • How does a fire-breathing dragon work underwater?
  • If you were trapped in ice and fire, wouldn't they just negate each other?

 

Oscar Bensol brings us the tongue-twisting "Sea Snares of Captain Sly" (on the seashore?).

Yet another strange craft appears in the sky which drops off two henchmen of Captain Sly, who leave a time bomb on the sea floor. Two other henchmen leave sheets of pink plastic blocking a narrow canyon--then turn the sheets invisible with a strange ray. It's a trap for our heroes, who show up as expected. Aquaman goes on alone, and swims right into one of the sheets. Aqualad goes the other way, and hits the other sheet. This time, it constricts around and traps him. A globe is dropped from the ship which picks him up. Aquaman uses a clam to cut the line. The ship goes underwater while members of the fish army help to free the teen. Tusky breaks the plastic bag around Aqualad, and they are off to the battle. Henchman on sea scooters shoot "limpness lights" at Aqualad, but the Sea King saves him with a well-thrown water ball. Aquaman's fish army helps him knocks out the scooters, and our heroes commandeer them. The ship tries to take off, but the limpness lights take it out. Henchmen shoot harpoons at our heroes, but a Sea Turtle protects them. Swordfish are brought in, and trap the henchmen. Tusky catches Captain Sly in his own trap, and it's off to jail for them.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (52), Minnow (18)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Galloping Guppies
  • The henchmen wear deep-sea helmets, but their arms and legs are bare--I don't think that would go well
  • If you had an invisibility ray, wouldn't that be enough to go commit crimes?  Why go to all this extra trouble?

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

Star Trek TNG: Season 1 Early Episodes by Mark

If you've been following this blog (and I have no idea why you would), you know that I recently covered the Star Trek animated series, as part of an effort of my wife and I to watch all Trek series in chronological order. We managed to make it through the original series movies since then (it was truly painful to watch Star Trek V: Kirk vs. God again), so now we're watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on Netflix.

I'm not going to do a separate entry for each episode--that would take too long and there's plenty of others on the net who have already done so. However, from time to time, I will drop in a blog entry with my thoughts on recent episodes we've watched.

One point upfront. If you want to feel really old, consider this: The period of time since TNG premiered (1987) is now longer than the period between the TOS (1966) and TNG premieres. Ouch!

We're several episodes into the first season so far--

  • I'm sure the cast was nervous during the production of the pilot. The characters were not fully formed, concepts were being introduced, and from my memories at the time, the series was far from a sure thing. That being said, it is very strange that everyone involved on camera really gave you ACTING by the bushel.  Every line was spoken like it was the most important thing ever said--like they were giving speeches in front of a podium.
  • Why did they spend what seemed like half the pilot separating and reattaching the saucer section--so some Trekkie could say "I knew they could do that from the engineering manual I bought at the convention"?
  • Who's bright idea was skirts on the early uniforms--specially for male extras? I know it was William Ware Theiss, but somebody had to approve that.
  • Does Dr. Crusher shop at uglysweaters.com for her son, or does Wesley buy them? (BTW--there's a tumblr if you're interested in seeing them)
  • In retrospect, I don't think Tasha Yar was killed due to Denise Crosby's Playboy pictorial. She was not a good actress, and her backstory is terrible. Rape gangs?  She also held back Worf on the show--all he did was talk about Klingon honor before she was offed.
  • Picard seems to go for the "surrender" option a lot
  • The juxtaposition of drama and humor is very strange--wacky antics from Data one second, and a deadly decision the next

Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix--more to come!

Aquaman: In Captain 'Cuda's Clutches / The Mirror-Man from Planet Imago by Mark

Bob Haney brings in a classic JLA villain and gives another a nickname for alliteration's sake "In Captain 'Cuda's Clutches". 

Aquaman and Aqualad are on their way back to the Aquacave (perhaps to get some Aquaburgers and Aquafries) when Tusky manages to find trouble again. A jewel in the Aquacave (a monitor for the Jewel people) shows a scary face--it's Captain Barracuda (dressed like a blue conquistador) and Starro, an alien starfish. They are attacking the Jewel people, so off go our heroes.

Starro "inks" the Jewel people (not like tattooing), and the Captain shoots an energy based weapon at the Aqua-duo which paralyzes Aqualad.  The Sea King calls in Star-Gazers, which shock the teen back into health. They don't know where the bad guys are, but Tusky brought the monitor jewel with him so they can find the Jewel people. Of course, they took refuge in their city (where else would they go?). Starro pulls at the jeweled dome, but here comes our heroes with the fish troops. Starro then tries to shock and ink them, but Pufferfish suck up the ink (I don't think that's how they work). The fish army continue the fight, but our Captain keeps paralyzing them. Tusky distracts Barracuda and Aquaman tackles him. The Jewel people give the Sea King a gift, and put the Captain to work mining for more jewels.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (49), Minnow (14)  
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Cowering Cowfish, Flipping Flatfish, Wailing Wolffish, Suffering Sea Snakes
  • Seems awfully convenient that Tusky brought the monitor jewel with him--wasn't he just scared of it earlier?
  • Why would Jewel people mine for jewels? Seems like cannibalism.
  • Starro is one of the many Silver Age DC villains with a name ending in "O" (AmazoKanjar RoChemo, Eclipso...)  
  • Starro is more of a henchman than an actual villain here--he does seem to get away at the end though

 

Dennis Marks brings us "The Mirror-Man from Planet Imago" (sponsored by Xerox). 

Aquaman is fighting the Brain's henchmen--he then goes into the Brain's ship! It's not Aquaman--it's a duplicate from the Planet Imago (you can tell he's the dupe because his eyes are extra-sparkly). The Brain plans to do the old switcheroo! Aqua-dupe commands the fish in the sea to fight (now there's a pay-per-view event!). The real Sea King sees the problem from the Aquacave, so they go check it out. He orders the fish to stop fighting, but it just confuses them, so they have to step in. The Brain uses this opportunity to attack Aqualad and take him back to the ship. It was just a ruse to knock out Aquaman and switch him out with the duplicate! He fools Aqualad but not his steed or Tusky, who gets a real shaking from the faux Sea King. Aqualad is just confused.

The real Aquaman is trapped under a heat beam--he's about to get served with drawn butter! He uses a magnifying glass he happens to have on him to burn a hole in the ship. Meanwhile, Aqua-dupe evicts Aqualad from the Aquacave. He then contacts the Brain and preps to open the doors to Atlantis. The Brain learns about the hole in the ship--Aquaman has escaped! Aqualad and Tusky commiserate, but then the real Aquaman appears and explains what is going on. The real and faux Aquamen battle it out. No one knows who's who, including The Brain, who blasts the duplicate. Aquaman does the old wall of water spinning trick and blows up the ship. The Aqua-dupe explains his planet was fooled--they though the Sea King was the bad guy. 

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (50), Minnow (15), Sardine (1)  Note: I'm counting Aqua-dupe's nicknames as well.
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Jumping Jellyfish, Holy Hogfish. Jumping Jackfish
  • So Aquaman carries around a magnifying glass just in case?

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

Aquaman: The Devil Fish / The Sea Scavengers by Mark

Apparently, no one wanted to take credit for "The Devil Fish".

Aquaman gets a message from the surface--he listens to it on a funky pair of headphones and then tells Aqualad to hold the fort. Mark Bartholomew meets him on the surface--he's a test pilot with a new ship--the "Devil Fish" is a combination helicopter/submarine ready for testing. Unfortunately, a Manta-man overhears this and tells Black Manta about it. Back underwater, the sea trials begin. The ship can go fast underwater or on the water (Supercar!) and is tough enough to go through rock. It can maneuver around whales that Aquaman calls in. Black Manta likee, so he pulls the ship in with a net. Our heroes fight Manta-Men and they retreat. The Devil-Fish escapes but then chases Manta's ship into a whirlpool. Aquaman follows them in.

The test pilot finds his ship in an ancient underwater city (there are lot of those) that includes an air pocket, which Manta is using as a hideout. Aquaman fights off Manta's goons, and the test pilot rams his ship into a the pedestal holding up Manta. Aquaman is able to call up some Sea Dragons to help out, and tells Mark to split. Manta closes the entrance, but too late. Bull whales seal up the entrance, and our heroes figure that's the last they will see from Black Manta (fat chance).

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (44), Minnow (9)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Leaping Lampreys, Great Guppies, Holy Haddock
  • Tusky seems angry at the message from the surface
  • I thought Mark Bartholemew was some existing DC character, but I didn't find any reference. Must have been some friend of the unknown writer.

 

Oscar Bensol brings us "The Sea Scavengers". 

The Aqua-Duo are on an offshore oil platform--a threatening letter has come in from "The Sea Scavenger". The foreman (a refugee from one of the Superman cartoons) is worried. Underwater, Tusky sees the "Subma-Robot" (cool name) arriving, controlled by the villain Scavo. Apparently, he called dibs on this area and wants the platform gone, so the robot takes it out. The foreman has to be rescued. Aquaman calls for some giant sea creatures to fight the robot, while a porpoise takes the foreman to the mainland(?!?). The robot responds with razor sharp pinwheels and torpedos. Whales and sharks bang into the robot, Tusky does a wacky bit, the the Subma-Robot is disabled. Scavo and his goons swim out with compressed air bubble guns that hit Aquaman and Aqualad, but they fight them off. Aquaman lets them go, and Scavo retreats to an island with a heat gun that boils the water. Marlins are called in (they like hot water) and they create a tidal wave that hits the island. Now, Aquaman decides it's mainland prison for them.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (46), Minnow (11)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Holy Haddock, Shivering Shellfish, Jumping Jellyfish (twice), Leaping Lobsters
  • In later incarnations, Aquaman would have been the eco-terrorist attacking the oil platform
  • If you name your kid Scavo, he's going to become a scavenger
  • At one point, our heroes and the foreman appear to be standing on the water
  • Sure, Aquaman, let them go after they destroy an oil platform!  Only when they try to boil the sea do you actually capture them...

 Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

Aquaman: Goliaths of the Deep Sea Gorge / The Sinister Sea Scamp by Mark

Oscar Bensol does double duty in this episode, writing both stories.

Tusky is out playing, but is attacked by a Gill-man (looks a lot like the Creature from the Black Lagoon). The AquaDuo hear his barking (underwater?) and give chase. Aquaman drops a shell on his head and then calls in octopi to help out. Turns out the Gill-man is actually looking for the Sea King, as his people need help. A Mastodon-man is attacking his village. The Mastodon-man (think of a huge grey bear with an elephant head) grabs another Gill-man) and Aquaman does the hard water ball bit. Our heroes get trapped in a hut and are about to be crushed when Tusky bites the monster to distract him.

Aquaman calls in more fish troops and they lead the monster away from the village. The monster is after Tusky--he sucks him in with his snout and crashes his first into Aqualad, then sends a water stream that forces the teen onto the rocks. They jump into a crevice, and Aquaman throws a rock into the monster's snout. The rock is then sent at the village, and Aquaman has to do the spinning bit to knock it away. Aqualad doesn't follow orders (as usual) and gets caught again. The Sea King calls in a hammerhead and whales to drag the Mastodon-man away, while Aquaman saves his sidekick from stalagmites (again--underwater?). The monster is dropped in a convenient hole, and Tusky plays dressup to finish us out.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (40)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Galloping Guppies, Suffering Sea Cows
  • There's a lot of "-man" references in this story
  • Why huts for the village--does that make sense underwater?
  • Aquman casually mentions an "underground sea" where the Mastodon-man will be deposited. Hope there's no hut-based villages there.
  • Frankly, this whole episode is like a fever dream

 

In the second story, our heroes are off to pick up some phosphorous (apparently, that's the light source for Atlantis). The Sea King warns Aqualad how dangerous it is to the touch, so they get the rock in a net and drag it between their sea horse steeds through steep canyons. Tusky is playing as usual and gets lost. A submarine with three "Bulks" (large mutant goons) and the Sea Scamp (WORST VILLAIN NAME EVER) watch Tusky and use an "animator beam" to trap him in kelp. Our heroes notice that Tusky is gone and go to find him. Aquaman calls in thresher sharks to cut him out. The Sea Scamp is not happy and decides to animate some coral that knocks out Aqualad. The fish army is called in, but it's hard to fight coral. Bull sharks knock a boulder on it and take it out.

So, the Sea Scamp animates the phosphorous into a monster (you knew this was coming). They can't touch it, so it's back to the canyons. Aquaman realizes that phosphorous is flammable, so he calls in some Star Gazers (Wikipedia confirms it's a real fish) to electrify and blow it up. The Sea Scamp runs his ship and his Bulks at our heroes, which doesn't do much good, so he tries to escape. Bull whales and sharks disable his ship, and it blows up and crashes. Tusky finds the Sea Scamp, and Aquaman decides to take him to Atlantis where he can invent good things instead of bad. They grab some more phosphorous and head for home. 

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (42), Minnow (8)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Slithering Seaweed, Flipping Flounders
  • Since phosphorous is dangerous to the touch, isn't it a bad idea to stand around underwater near a huge cache of it?
  • We see the common animation device for glowing objects--switching back and forth quickly between white and yellow.
  • Why go through the underwater canyon--just go over it?
  • Does anyone it makes sense to drop a villain into Atlantis and just hope he turns good?

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

Aquaman: The Trio of Terror / The Torp, The Magneto and the Claw by Mark

Apparently, Aquaman has run through all his archvillains, so now they are ganging up on him.  Dennis Marks brings us "The Trio of Terror". 

The Brain, Queen Vassa, and Black Manta meet up and introduce each other to the audience. Vassa will attack the the underwater detection systems, Manta will attack Atlantis, and Brain will destroy the Sea King. Our heroes see the damage being done and go off to investigate, only to find Vassa's whaleship shooting torpedos at them. Aqualad heedlessly goes off to stop them, and Aquman has to save him. Mera calls, saying that Atlantis is under attack by Manta--he's shooting balls of fire at the domed city. Aquaman calls for dolphins to help out, and a fish army puts out the fire...underwater. Manta runs, and they follow to find all three bad guy ships. The Brain zaps the Sea King and is going to entomb him in a salty coffin--so he calls in some whales to crash into the ship and free him. Manta then tuns on the Brain, and Vassa blasts Manta. The fish army cleans things up, and Aquaman as usual lets the bad guys go.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (33)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Bouncing Blowfish
  • Why do the other villains just accept that Brain gets to kill Aquaman--especially Manta, since he's the only A-list bad guy in the group?
  • Nice Aquaman quote--"There is no honor among thieves".  Think of that yourself?
  • The episode seems to run out of steam at the end

 

Bob Haney brings us another evil trio in "The Torp, The Magneto, and the Claw". 

Mera, Aqualad, and Tusky are returning to the Aquacave. They see Topedoman, who zips by them. Aqualad goes off to investigate, and Tusky swims off to find the Sea King. Torpedoman goes into a sea junkyard (?) and meets up with Magneto (not the Marvel character, but another armored bad buy) and the Claw (not the Craw, the Craw!). Torpedoman must have watched the previous episode--they are teaming up to destroy Aquaman too. They see Aqualad and capture him and Mera. Aqualad then blames Mera for trying to help him. Aquaman arrives to have a wrecking ball thrown at him--he uses the old spinning trick on the villain. The Sea King finds the teenager and his wife in a cartoony construction equipment scoop. Magneto attacks him, but some hard water balls take him out. The fish army comes in, and Torpedoman decides it's time to leave. He's pelted with sea junk by giant squids. Aqualad is having no luck with the Claw, so Aquaman takes him out. Torpedoman follows them into a cave where sharks fight him off, then Aquaman sends him into an endless maze.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (35), Minnow (7)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Suffering Sea Snails, Murmuring Moonfish, Holy Hogfish, Leaping Lionfish, Puffing Porcupinefish
  • Nice eyelashes on Mera's seahorse
  • Torpedoman seems surprised to see Aqualad, although he just went past him. Maybe the armor has lousy peripheral vision?
  • Mera looks askance at one of Aqualad catchphrase attempts

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

Aquaman: Where Lurks the Fisherman! / Mephisto's Marine Marauders by Mark

It's more Bob Haney wackiness with the incorrectly punctuated "Where Lurks the Fisherman!".  Is it a question, or a forceful statement?  Let's find out.

A crab-shaped ship is captained by our titled Villain, who wears a weird helmet with (apparently) nothing inside. The rest of his costume must have been purchased on Halloween night--it's all remainders, including a cape, unitard, shoulder pads, and swim fins. His "hammerhead" henchmen are bizarre mutants with headrests for heads. He sneaks into the Aquacave and booby traps a remote control. Our heroes return, and Aqualad is about to use the remote, but Tusky smells trouble. He grabs it and streaks away just before it explodes. Is the goofy sidekick dead? Not on Saturday morning TV--he was blown clear.

The Fisherman, assuming our Aquaheroes are dead, heads off to Atlantis. He shoots attack miniships at the domed city, which use rings of fire. Aquaman calls for his fish army. Fisherman sends his goons to attack the Marine Marvels (his words, not mine). Swordfish pull the rings of fire off the Atlantis dome, and our heroes and their finny friends take out the henchmen. Fisherman uses a sonic cannon on Atlantis, and the dome starts cracking.  Whale sharks are called in to take it out. The Fisherman knocks out Aqualad and tries to reel in the Sea King. Aqualad (who apparently woke up a few seconds later) helps him out, along with a giant clam that cuts the line. Tusky is netted, but one of the sharks grabs the villain and sends him into a crevasse. They think he's done for, but we see him again at the end, vowing vengeance.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (30), Minnow (5)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Sputtering Spoonbills, Holy Hagfish, Suffering Sailfish, Holy Haddocks
  • I love how the Fisherman's henchmen are just chillin' outside the Aquacave
  • The Fisherman (voiced by Ted Knight, as is most every villain) has a rather whiny voice
  • The whale sharks seem rather angry
  • The giant clam has a rather cartoony jagged mouth

 

Oscar Bensol brings us more alliteration with "Mephisto's Marine Marauders".

Tusky is playing along the pipeline sending oxygen to Atlantis. Our heroes are checking on the oxygen extraction plant, where our titled villain (costumed in standard red devil horns and red jumpsuit) tells his goons to drop a sleeping pellet into the system. The henchmen (with pointed ears, domino masks, and red pantyhose) take the medicine ball-sized pellet, Aqualad spies them, and warns the Sea King. He tells the teenager to stay out of sight until he arrives, which of course he ignores. Tusky stops the bad guys, but they use a vibro-beam on Aqualad, grab the pellet, and are about to finish the job when Aquaman arrives. Out with the vibro-beam again--the Sea King spins and throws hard water balls to capture them. The pellet is already dissolving--Aqualad gets it out but falls asleep.  

The villain's ships close in, and the Sea King calls in a bull whale to take one of them out. The rest of the ships follow the standard maneuver of attacking the dome. Aquaman rides a needle-nose shark at the ships, and the rest of the fish army takes out the ships. Mephistos main ship attacks, and what sounds like the announcer tells him their vibro-beam is smashed, so he uses the "tangler" on them. A saw-nose shark (you know, there isn't a shark for every tool) cuts them out, and a bull whale finishes the villain off. Aqualad then takes a nap.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (31)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Jumping Jellyfish, Holy Haddock
  • Seems like it would easier to attack Atlantis by destroying the oxygen pipeline, rather than attacking the dome
  • Tusky seems to be doing all the work here
  • Why doesn't the sleep pellet start dissolving as soon as it is in the water?
  • Why is Atlantis underwater if they breathe oxygen anyway?

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

A Modest Proposal to DC Comics by Mark

I'm taking a short break from the Aquaman show review to extrapolate on something we discussed on our podcast, "How I Got My Wife to Read Comics".

DC Comics, as you probably know, had a company-wide reboot last September. When you restart 52 comics at the same time, you will only have so many hits, and you only have so much money for marketing, etc. This means some of the titles will need to be cancelled. DC recently announced that 6 of the 52 titles would end at issue #8 (they just finished out #5), and that 6 new titles would replace them. Based on what I've heard about them, my opinion is that 3 will probably do well, one is questionable, and two are DOA.

This post isn't about the specifics of those titles--it's about how DC can go about replacing titles without rolling the dice on a bunch of brand new ongoing series. Basically, my suggestion is that they bring back the Showcase title. Showcase was started in 1956 to revive DC's superheroes. Wertham's crusade, and the resulting Senate hearing and the creation of the Comics Code Authority, effectively killed off most of the DC superhero line by this point. DC's management wanted to bring them back, but more in line with the modern era. Creative teams were given a total of (usually) 3 issues to introduce a new character, and get enough sales to justify a move to their own title or team. For all intensive intents and purposes, Showcase kickstarted the Silver Age at DC--the Barry Allen Flash, the Hal Jordan Green Lantern, The Ray Palmer Atom, Adam Strange, the Metal Men, the Creeper, Hawk and Dove, the Challengers of the Unknown, and Rip Hunter were all introduced in the pages of Showcase.

DC has a huge line of characters that have effectively fallen off the map, especially due to the recent reboot. At some point, those character names will need to be used to exercise their copyright. A new Showcase series would be a great way to try out new or updated characters--a "pilot" process for filling in the New 52. It's less of a risk than starting a whole new ongoing series. It would also give DC the opportunity to bring in new creatives--a tryout process for them as well as the characters. I wouldn't want to see established creatives used, especially those already working at DC--they have enough to do keeping the 52 titles running on time.

The really great thing about this idea is that DC wouldn't have to depend on just sales and old schools "letters to the editor". Facebook, Twitter, Google + sites are already in place or could be set up easily to track interest. Just see how many "likes", "retweets", or "plus ones" you get about a particular new character run.

Consider that one of the most talked about events in DC history was when they gave the readers the ability to vote via a 900 number on whether the Jason Todd Robin would die. This would be even more interactive--and an ongoing process that can spawn more marketing.

A possible downside is that DC is already using the Showcase name for a series of reprint volumes. Either that could be changed, or the existing DC Universe Presents title could be refashioned for this use. 

The reboot generated a huge buzz for DC, but that won't last forever--the numbers are already dropping. Resurrecting Showcase would give DC an ongoing flow of new characters and concepts, as well as a way to discover new creating talent.

What do you think, Didio and Lee?  Just a thought from an old comic collector...

Aquaman - The Satanic Saturnians / The Brain, the Brave and the Bold by Mark

More title alliteration!

Oscar Bensol brings us "The Satanic Saturnians". 

Strange rising tides bring in our heroes to investigate, and they find melting icebergs. So, they are off to the North Pole. A spaceship that looks like Saturn is there--and what do you know, there are Saturnians on it! They are behind the melting, using a heat ring. Our heroes are on the case, calling in killer sharks to cut the cables for the ring. Tusky, always the idiot, bites the cable and gets pulled up. Minisubs are sent out to fight our heroes. Tusky jumps into one of the subs. A sub sends out "a sleeve of hard light" (?) to trap Aquaman. He tries to call for help, but the hard light stops it. Tusky, on the sub, manages to releases Aquaman and crashes into other subs. The normal fish troops are called in. Aquaman grabs a sub, and finds Tusky in it. They go off to the main ship, and the fish army pushes it around. The aliens decide to blast off.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (26)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Suffering Starfish, Leaping Lampreys, Jiggling Jellyfish
  • Is this a precursor of global warming?  I knew it wasn't caused by natural events...
  • The Saturnians look like a fish and a bat mated.
  • A strange quote from the Saturnian: "Back to Saturn before they put rings in our noses!"  Was that standard procedure for aliens?

 

Dennis Marks writes "The Brain, The Brave and the Bold", which is a reference to a DC comic title that Aquaman was in quite a few times.

A sub reaches Atlantis. It's the Brain--another Aquavillain. He uses a sonic brain wave to attack! Our heroes come in, and missiles are send their way. Aquaman deflects them with his fists (?), and calls in his fish army to help out. The sonic brain wave is used, and the fish army deserts him--Aquamans' telepathy does no good. Now, Brain's goons attack. One of them fells Aquaman, and the others capture Aqualad. He's given a special mental treatment to turn Aqualad against Aquaman. Since the ray is turned off, Aquaman called the fish army back in--Aqualad disperses them with his new super-strength. Our heroes have a fight, and Tusky knocks Aqualad out. Like in all fiction, a blow to the head fixes everything. Our heroes and the fish army attack, while the Brain's ship readies their attack on Atlantis. The ray is destroyed, and the ship blows up.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (27), Minnow (4)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Leaping Lampreys
  • In the comics, a very different Brain was a Doom Patrol villain
  • Aquaman is not nearly as powerful without the fish army to back him up

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

 

Aquaman - The Onslaught of the Octomen / Treacherous is the Torpedoman by Mark

It's title alliteration!

Oscar Bensol brings us "The Onslaught of the Octomen".

Aqualad finds a secret city, and he and Tusky are grabbed. The Octo-King is using him to lure the Sea King and learn the secret of telepathy. Aqualad calls for help, and Aquaman leads his seahorses in. Aquaman is grabbed, and calls in fish to help him out. He reaches Aqualad, but the octo-guards recapture them. The Octo-king orders the Sea King to tell him the secret of telepathy, and he responds with an example--in comes the fish army. The Octo-King calls in a "Force Monster" (some energy-based creature), and threatens Aquaman with it.  the fish army are thrown into harms way, and the generator is turned all the way up, exploding the monster and the city.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (23)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Bouncing Butterfish
  • Why does Aquaman not RIDE the seahorse?
  • I think Haney was watching Forbidden Planet when he was writing this episode

 

Bob Haney writes "Treacherous is the Torpedoman".

Tusky is playing--he's found an old sunken ship. Hiding on it is Torpedoman, an armored bad guy with an echo effect. He attacks, launching himself at them. Aquaman lassos him, then calls in barracudas and paddlefish. Torpedoman transforms into an anchor, then attacks again. The villain activates an electric grid to trap them, but Torpedoman runs into it. Aquaman calls in fish to absorb the electricity, then Torpedoman traps them in a normal net, and starts pushing the ship off a ledge. Aquaman calls in a giant octopus to pull off the metal net. Torpedoman goes down with the ship. 

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (25)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Jumping Jackfish, Suffering Sunfish, Wailing Wolfish, Jumping Jellyfish 
  • What happens to the guy inside the armor when he transforms? That must hurt.
  • Why doesn't the electric grid electrocute everyone in the area? They are underwater, after all.

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

Aquaman - Vassa, Queen of the Mermen / The Microscopic Monsters by Mark

Oscar Bensol brings us "Vassa, Queen of the Mermen".

A group of whale-like ships approach Atlantis, commanded by the titular queen. They attempt to capture Mera, who calls for help, and in come our heroes. Tusky gets in the way, and is hit by a beam. Mera is captured as well. Aquaman tries to hold a whaleships's "mouth" open, and needs help from sharks. He disables one of the ships, and a hammerhead shark breaks it open to release Mera. Meanwhile, the other ships are upon Atlantis. Mera wants to help Aquaman, but she's a girl, so no. Rays start cracking the done. A fish army is called in to repel them. Electric eels shock a ship, and a real whale takes it out. The final ship goes to ram the dome, so Aquaman grabs it with an anchor and chain. The Sea King grabs Vassa, then releases her. Tusky, still ready to fight, grabs a real whale with bad results.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (20)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Holy Halibut 
  • Diana Maddox does double duty as Mera and Vassa
  • That communicator ring Mera is wearing must be very inconvenient, with little antenna sticking out
  • There's a lot of severe closeups in this episode
  • Is Vassa German?
  • Why does Aquaman let Vassa go? Doesn't Atlantis have some sort of jail?

 

George Kashdan writes "The Microscopic Monsters".

Aquaman is fooling with a gun that grows microscopic creatures by 10 times. However, Black Manta is in the area, watching the test. The gun does too good a job, and makes plankton grow to huge size. Aquaman goes to stop them, and Manta grabs the gun and Aqualad. Aquaman follows, calling in the fish army, including a giant lobster (?) and a giant fish. Manta tells the Sea King to let him go, or Aqualad is fish food. Electric torpedo rays (yes, that's a real fish) zap Manta's ship and break him out. Manta threatens to grow all the plankton, but Imp knocks the gun out of his hands, setting it off. The battle is on! The manta ray's venom shrinks the plankton back to normal. Tusky berates Imp for jumping in without thinking--that's his job!

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (22)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Pounding Pigfish, Blasting Blowfish. Aquaman counters with "Great Waves!"
  • When did Aquaman become an inventor?
  • More manta-men, wearing blankets on their heads.
  • Were these giant creatures created by the ray, or were they just hanging out?
  • Think how hard it must have been for Aquaman writers to come up with real fish species, before the Internet and Wikipedia...
  • The manta's "venom" looks a lot like electricity

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

Aquaman - The Ice Dragon / The Deadly Drillers by Mark

Bob Haney returns with "The Ice Dragon".

A giant squid and a huge dragon-beast are fighting (as often happens). Our heroes check it out. The dragon freezes the squid with its breath (hence the title). Our heroes start a fight, and Aquaman is frozen as well. The others break him out, and swordfish are called in. The dragon forms a wall of ice to stop them. They all surface, and the dragon turns the water into ice. All the good guys get frozen, and a swordfish and hammerhead shark is called in cut them out. More fighting with the dragon, and Sea King knocks out his foe. Whales are called in to drag the dragon into an underwater cave. The revived dragon is tricked into freezing itself, and whales drag it to arctic waters.  Finally, they break out Tusky.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (18), Minnow (2)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Rabid Frostfish (that's what I make out), Suffering Seasnakes,
  • After Aquaman is frozen, we clearly see his head move
  • The frozen ice comes in convenient cylinder shapes
  • Our heroes aren't as graceful when walking

 

Dennis Marks returns for "The Deadly Drillers".

An underwater earthquake brings in Aqualad to investigate. It's not natural--it's Mole Men! Aqualad gets caught in a fissure, and the Sea King rescues him with a school of blowfish. The Mole Men's ships are found, and Aquaman uses a killer shark to take it out. Aqualad is ordered to warn Atlantis. Aquaman is shocked by a ship and captured. Abnamar, King of the Mole Men, cackles from a TV screen on the ship. Aquaman escapes through a torpedo tube and calls in the fish troops, who take out most of the ships.  The rest are recalled, and Aquaman calls off his finny army.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (19)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Suffering Sailfish, Jumping Jellyfish. Aquaman counters with Great Guppies.
  • The Mole Men have nice yellow and red uniforms

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

Aquaman - The Volcanic Monster / The Crimson Monster from the Pink Pool by Mark

Richard Sandler wrote "The Volcanic Monster".  Unless he also did photography in 1980's New York (I think it's a different guy), this was his only foray into the arts.

We begin in the Aquacave. A dead volcano has restarted, and they go to--well, they go. A monster comes out of the volcano (hence the title) and throws fireballs. Tusky is trapped in some rocks, and Aquaman gets him free. He starts throwing hard water balls to stop the fireballs (makes sense).  Aquaman and Tusky are sucked toward the volcano. Aquaman calls in the sea horses to drag them out. Then, he brings in the dolphins to counter the whirlpool created by the volcano. One of the dolphins are hurt, and he and Tusky are trapped by the monster. More hard water balls distract him, then Aquaman calls in the fish troops to fight his battles for him (boiled fish, anyone?). Whales then knock boulders onto it to bury it. Tusky is, of course, in the middle of it and Aquaman has to save him. 

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (15)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Jumping Jellyfish 
  • I've been meaning to ask--how does all the electronic equipment in the Aquacave work underwater?
  • There's a jumpcut early in the episode--a few frames are replayed
  • How does Aqualad (or anyone else for that matter) pant and struggle for breath underwater?
  • I love how the sea horses whinny
  • Sad or embarrassed Tusky reminds me of Jack Benny with his hand on his chin

 

Oscar Bensol returns for the rather suggestive title of "The Crimson Monster From the Pink Pool". 

We're back with Tusky, who finds the aforementioned pink pool, which is poisonous. Then, the crimson monster comes out of the pool (kinds of writes itself, doesn't it?). It can dissolve rocks with a powerful acid. Tusky goes for help, and our heroes race into action. The one eyed monster is causing havoc by dissolving and throwing things, and is on it's way to Atlantis. Aquaman charges in and tries to ride it--no good. Tusky and the gang continue the fight. Aquaman throws a clamshell onto the monster to block the acid. More hard water  balls follow, and octopi are called in to help. The octopus ink neutralizes the acid and turns our pink monster blue. Fish troops are called in, and Aqualad lassos him with a whale, so they tow him back to the pool, which is then neutralized as well.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (17)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Holy Halibut, Soaring Sailfish 
  • The opening music sting seems slowed down--maybe the animation didn't match?
  • The octopus ink also turns Aquaman's hair black for a few frames

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.

Aquaman - The Sea Raiders / War of the Water Worlds by Mark

Oscar Bensol, the writer of "The Sea Raiders", would go on to write four more Aquaman episodes. He wrote many of the Adventures of Superman episodes.

A strange alien ship (a lot of episodes start this way, huh?) lands on the ocean. They are collecting specimens for their personal collection--I hope they are bagging and boarding them. Actually, they suck them up through a tube and dehydrate them. Somehow, this shrinks them instead of making fish jerky. Of course, Aquaman and Co. come to see what's happening. Tusky gets sucked in, shrunk, and dropped into a box. The aliens then dehydrate a Venusian Sea Serpent to play with our heroes, and we get our first display (in an episode) of Aquaman throwing "hard water" balls at it. He then spins to throw more water at it (not sure how effective this is, since they are underwater already). He then calls in the fish army to finish it off. The aliens decide it's time to blast off, so they have to save Tusky. They tie down the ship and pull it in the ocean. The aliens agree to let the earth fish (and Tusky) go, while taking the sea serpent.

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (8)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Jumping Jellyfish, Mumbling Mantis. We also get "Great Gastropods" from Aquaman.
  • What's with the generic music sting at the beginning of the episode?
  • A great Aqualad line: "Who? What? Why?". He'll make a fine news reporter some day.
  • Shrinking effects on cartoon accompanied by a slide whistle--check
  • Aliens, as always, use English on their ship displays--as in the "Eject" button

 

Next, Bob Haney brings us "War of the Water Worlds".  If I remember correctly, this is based on an issue of the comic book. There was also a (lousy) video game based on it.

Mera makes her second appearance. She finds a flower which grabs and pulls her into shimmering sand. Tusky goes to get help. Our heroes jump into the sand, and find another water world under theirs. They move toward a palace, but get grabbed by more living flowers. He calls in some help (some of his world's fish already wandered through the sand), and some Thresher Sharks cut them down. Their sea horse steeds decide to follow them into the other world.

Our heroes find Mera in a cave under a weird ray, as well as Slanth, the ruler there. He controls the plant life, and orders more vines to trap them. Slanth drops Aqualad under the ray as well--it turns people into plants (and then under his control). Aquaman is thrown into a pit, while Tusky manages to escape. Aquaman fights a hydra-like plant, and calls on manta to beat it up. He can't lift the grating in the pit, which is why the sea horses came in earlier--they pull it off. Tusky is watching Mera and Aqualad under the ray (why isn't he being affected?) when Aquaman appears and orders them back to the other world to get help. His fish subjects show up and give him a hand. He manages to get back to the other world himself, and drops a giant toothy(?) clam onto the sand to block others. 

Some things to look for:

  • Aquaman's nickname for Aqualad count: Tadpole (11)
  • Aqualad catchphrase attempts: Mumbling Mantis, Holy Haddock, Hopping Toadfish, Leaping Lionfish
  • The other world's sea is red--is this foreshadowing of the Crisis on Infinite Earths?
  • Apparently the plant ray must take a lot of time to work--Mera was under it quite a while, but a "good rest" resolves that

Remember, you can play along by watching the show on iTunesAmazon Instant Video, or VUDU. You can also buy the DVD on Amazon.